When Poles Collide
by DarkTragicAngel
Summary: "Why do we keep fighting all the time?" Thor wondered out loud during their afterglow, their legs and arms still wrapped around each other. Loki shifted to rest his chest on the blonde's torso, so he could look at his face while his fingers played with the golden locks. "I guess that's what happens when poles collide." THORKI - A destructive attraction. A relation of love and hate.
1. Growing Apart

_**About this story:**_

_**It follows the several stages of Thor and Loki's lives before, during and after the "Thor" and "The Avengers" franchise. I've also let myself be inspired by some elements of the Marvel animated movie "Thor: Tales of Asgard"; and also by the comic story-line from Marvel for the chapters following "Thor: The Dark World". I did not read the comics, limited myself in searching on internet the plot line to give so basis to this story.**_

_**It is, of course a Fanfic, which means, this story is product of my own imagination. The situations and quotes I'll use from the movies and comics are merely used to make it seem more consistent and allow the plot to flow easier.**_

_**It's rated M because of explicit sex imaginary, yet, nothing out of the extraordinary. **_

_**I will update weekly.  
**_

_**The first chapter is an introduction to the story, and therefore, very small. All the following chapters will be at least twice as long.**_

_**I hope you'll enjoy, it's my first Thorki fanfic. Please review in the end! :)  
**_

_**DTA**_

* * *

For many centuries Asgard has lived times of peace and prosperity. The prudent rule of the Allfather had made sure that fragile truces survived undisturbed for over a millennium, just like old alliances have strengthened by the passing of centuries. Odin savored a time of constancy but new worries started to evolve in his mind and in his heart. His boys were growing up and fast. Thor had just reached adulthood. He had proven to be a talented warrior, but his thirst for battle concerned the old sovereign. His eldest son was letting himself be blinded by triumph, becoming arrogant and proud. The first born was to become king, but Thor was still a too immature prince. He lacked humbleness, wisdom and prudence. Just like he lacked knowledge in general political affairs.

Odin's youngest son, on the other side, was yet to reach adulthood. Nevertheless, the teenager already possessed an outstanding intellect and understanding about politics and war strategies. He was astute and cautious, but he possessed a dark side that concerned greatly the Allfather. Loki was ambitious. He was compensating his lack in fighting skills through the mastering of magic. He was compensating his physical boundaries through the power of words, learning the deceiving arts of manipulation and lies. Odin feared the boy was doing everything to get the crown. Above all, he feared to what kind of corrupted measures Loki would carry out in order to achieve his goal.

The Allfather stood at the balcony of his chambers and observed the warriors practice with a watchful eye. Thor was training his combating skills with his friends Sif and the Warriors Three. His moves were steady, strong and powerful. But he bragged too much, overpraising himself after each and every small victory. Odin's single blue eye shifted to the public seats where only one person was to be found, Loki. He had left the arena about a half an hour ago, after he was defeated over and over again by the others. He had left when his brother and friends teased him for his downfalls. Odin knew the others meant no harm, but was aware the younger prince felt ridiculed and humiliated, even though he did not let it transpire. Loki's attention was now focused on a book and was only broken once in a while, when his brother called out for him to brag another victory. Odin scoffed at Thor's childish display to gain his little brother's attention.

The old king sighed worriedly. He knew Loki was horribly envious about Thor. He also had a mild feeling the teenager absolutely despised Sif and the Warriors Three. However, what bothered him the most was that lately Loki's face had become more difficult to read. He was becoming a closed book. The only times he succeeded to break the prince's cool façade was during their heated discussions, which were becoming more frequent. While Thor was the compliant son, Loki was beyond doubt, the defiant one.

"You worry about the boys, my lord." Odin did not need to turn around to know it was his wife and confident that spoke to him. He listened to her almost silent but steady pacing, as she walked in his direction until she reached the balcony and stood by his side. Odin smiled. He knew Frigga meant it as a statement and not as a question.

"Thor is becoming an arrogant and unwise prince. While Loki is becoming dangerously ambitious. They are both taking unworthy paths in becoming kings."

"They are growing apart from each other." Frigga regretfully said.

"They are becoming complete opposites from each other." Odin added.

"You know you can turn that into an advantage." Frigga said and Odin turned to face his wife, knowing her next words would be full of wisdom. "They complement each other and compensate for each other's shortages. Thor is naïve but Loki is clever. Thor is impulsive, but Loki is prudent. Thor has the strength and popularity, Loki has the intellect and the low-profile."

"You are suggesting to name Thor king and Loki his advisor." Odin completed his wife's chain of thoughts. "But I worry it will not suffice the younger prince's desires. Loki is ambitious."

"He is. But he is also loyal to his brother, as he is to you."

"Loki is rebellious. He enjoys defying me."

"All Loki wants is to impress you, just like Thor impresses you."

"Are you implying I'm being partial in my parenting?"

"All I'm saying is that sometimes you are too strict with Loki. He's still a teenager."

"And yet he disobeys me all the time."

"Well, that's what teenagers do." Frigga said in a soft chuckle and her eyes rested on the sitting figure of her youngest son. "Loki loves you. As he loves Thor. He just needs to be reminded of that."

"What do you suggest?"

"Send Loki and Thor to the Aelhill forest with a quest. Alone. The boys will be forced to learn to deal with each other, to deal with their differences."

"You think it will help them bond again." Odin concluded, understanding his wife's brilliant plan. "I will send them with the quest of finding the Tear of Snow for the annual winter festival."

"That surely will keep them busy for a while." Frigga said with a smile while she waved at Thor, who was shaking his arm vigorously in the air, after spotting his parents. Loki lifted his head when he heard his brother calling out, this time saying father and mother. He too saw them standing at the balcony. He smiled and gave a small wave. "It's time our boys learned to treasure each other's company."

* * *

**So, does this small introduction incite you into reading further?**

**What are your expectations or opinions of what may be going on?**

**Let me know! Please review :)**


	2. Brothers

**Chapter 2: Brothers**

Thor woke up feeling bright and excited. He was thrilled with his father's command given two days ago. He and Loki were leaving today to search this year's Tear of Snow. The quest itself was considered mild in challenges and dangers, often appointed to young soldiers. The Tear of Snow was a rare flower that only grew in the Ael peak during two weeks. It had become tradition in Asgard to bring one single Tear of Snow for the winter solstice festival as a symbol of nature's renewal cycle. However, it was not the quest itself that animated the blond prince but the idea he was to do it with his brother.

Loki had been acting increasingly distant the last weeks. No matter how hard Thor tried to spend time with the other prince, the youngest sibling seemed to always find ways to detour and avoid him. He had no idea why the raven-haired teenager was acting so reserved lately, but it bothered him immensely. He missed their companionship, he missed the complicity they used to share. Lately, Thor had been having the uncomfortable feeling his little brother was becoming a stranger to him. The reason he was radiant with this quest. Because once they had nobody around them, Loki would be forced to interact with him. Eventually, he would discover the cause of the younger brother's growing distance.

"Take good care of your brother." Frigga told Thor while she embraced him.

"Please, mother. Obviously I'll be the one taking care of him." The All Mother involuntarily grinned at her youngest son's mocking comment and he too received a warm embrace.

"The Tear of Snow is an ancient symbol for our annual winter festivity. I expect you two to return in five days with one single flower." Odin spoke with a stern voice.

"Yeah, I'll make sure Thor doesn't smash it in the way." Loki teased while he climbed on the back of his horse.

"Hold your tongue, brother. Or _you_ might not return undamaged."

"Behave yourselves, you two." Frigga reprehended with a soft knitting of her brow but couldn't resist letting out a chuckle at the wide smiles both her boys were giving her.

"Travel safe." Odin said while he banged his staff on the ground, signing the moment for leave.

The princes commanded their horses to gallop away and left Asgard's capital under the sound of loud cheering from its people. They rode on with no pauses and reached the Aelhill forest's edge just before noon. The princes savored the freshness the tree's shadows offered as they quietly entered the woods. They rode silently for a long while. Thor was the first one to break the quietness.

"I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

"We should make camp and hunt down some lunch." Thor said, hiding an amused smile.

"Fine. But let us go a bit further. I think there's a lake here somewhere." Loki said while he pointed at his right.

"How do you know that?"

"You didn't think I would come unprepared for our little excursion, did you?"

"Let me guess, you went to the library and studied a map from Aelhill."

"Yes. I also read a book about its vegetation and some adventurers' stories that passed here by." Loki proudly stated and Thor barked a laughter.

"Why aren't I surprised?"

"Shhhh. Can you hear that?" Loki asked sounding excited while he cupped his hand next to his ear.

"That's the sound of…"

"Water!"

"The last one to get there is a decrepit old boar!" Thor challenged while he kicked his horse to ride fast.

Laughing together, the princes rode fast between the woods, challenging each other in speed, trying to push the other from the horse, while they followed the sound of water. Thor managed to unbalance Loki just long enough to reach first the lake with a small cascade.

"I win!" The blond Asgardian childishly cheered.

"You cheated." Loki pointed out, but was smirking from amusement. "Wow, this place is even more beautiful that its descriptions."

"Let's go for a swim!" Thor said while he was already undressing his armor.

"I thought you were hungry."

"Nothing better than a quick swim to open up the appetite." The eldest sibling said while he threw his hauberk on the ground. He noticed Loki wasn't undressing himself and looked a bit tense. "You're not coming?"

"It's probably cold." Loki awkwardly said, while he turned to the side looking uncomfortable. The blond prince stared a bit perplexed at him.

"Cold never bothered you before." Thor said with a chuckle but Loki looked the least amused by his words.

"You go and take a swim. I'm going to find us lunch." Loki said never looking at Thor and walked away before his older brother could say anything. The blond Asgardian watched silenced as the raven-haired boy made his way out through the woods. He took off the rest of his clothes off and entered the water wondering why Loki was behaving so strangely.

…

When Thor returned from the lake, he followed the scent of roasted meat until he found his little brother sitting down by a campfire roasting a hare on a spit. The youngest prince looked up and grinned.

"How was the water?"

"Freezing." Thor said, while he rubbed his bare arms and sat closer to the fire.

"Told you so." Loki chuckled and the blond Asgardian immediately knew the raven-haired boy knew more than he led on.

"You knew the water was going to be ice cold, didn't you?"

"Of course I knew. Unlike you, I'm not an ignorant oaf." Loki smugly said, his eyebrow lifting in a mischievous manner. "That water comes from River Ferirama, which springs from mountain Ael."

"Which means we only have to follow the river now!" Thor said grinning. "Well done, Loki. And you've found lunch too. I'm impressed."

The older prince felt his heart warm up when his younger sibling gave a wide proud smile. He decided he should praise his brother more often. He watched as Loki picked something from the ground and shifted to sit next to him. He opened his hand and revealed a small round yellow fruit.

"Never eat this, understand?" Loki told, fixing his eyes on Thor's with a grave expression. "It's poisonous. These, on the contrary, are good." He presented a handful of red berries he had collected on a small drape. Thor took some of them and put the berries in his mouth.

"Hum, they're tasty. What does this one do? Does it kill?" Thor asked pointing at the small yellow fruit.

"You won't die from it. But you'll get one hell of a diarrhea. And I won't be the one to wipe out your ass!"

Thor barked a laugher at his brother's witty answer and gave a friendly pat on Loki's back. The boys switched accomplice smiles. The forest was a quiet and peaceful place, the only sounds to be heard were those of birds chirping and of two brothers laughing their heads off.

…

The sun was slowly setting down, coloring the sky with a pallet of soft pink and purples and of bright reds and yellows. The young princes had been following the course of River Ferirama diligently during the whole afternoon. Both had fallen quiet for a while and Thor noticed his young sibling was staring at the changing skies with a distracted look.

"Thinking about Amora, brother?"

"Uhm…What?!" Loki almost yelled at the mention of his girlfriend's name. He felt his cheeks immediately warm up. Thor released an amused laugher.

"Come on, Loki. I know you've been spending a lot time with her."

"She's teaching me magic!" The raven-haired prince defended, but cursed for the heat that accumulated on his face.

"I think she's teaching more than just magic." The blond warrior spoke in a teasing tone, causing a scorn sound by his brother." Say…Have you guys done it already?"

"Done what, Tho… Hey! That's none of your business!" Loki yelled irate, realizing what his brother was asking.

"So you didn't. Don't worry, the moment will come." Thor said with a knowing smile very much for his brother's horror. A moment of silence followed, this time broken by Loki.

"You and Sif…have you?" Thor turned to face his curious sibling and noticed there was a slight look of expectation in his eyes.

"Yes. More than once." He calmly said with a soft smile. Another pause settled between the brothers and again silence was broken by the youngest.

"Is it good?"

"Yes it is. You should try it some time." Thor honestly said while facing his brother.

Loki swallowed nervously, his cheeks burning from embarrassment. He didn't really know what to say, so he ended nodding silently and fixed his eyes back on the darkening skies. A peaceful silence resided between the siblings until they decided stop and build a camp for the night.

…

Thor returned to the campfire feeling pleased with his latest achievement. He had just hunted a wild boar for diner. He found it odd Loki was not by the horses, but figured out his younger sibling was somewhere nearby and would return soon. But after cleaning, preparing and placing the boar in the spit, he started growing concerned with his sibling's absence and decided to go look for him. The search ended shortly, for he quickly found Loki bathing in the icy waters of River Ferirama.

"I really don't understand how you can endure that cold for so long." Thor said, while he stopped by the river's shore. The raven-haired boy had not heard him coming and flinched with a yell.

"Thor!"

"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you." The blond warrior apologized with a chuckle. Despite the dark, the pale moon lightened the world enough so he could see Loki's furious expression.

"Why did you sneak upon me?"

"I did no such thing. It's unlike you to not hear me approaching." The older brother defended, unable to hide his amused tone. But his joyful expression quickly transformed into a more serious one. "Where you lost in thoughts, little brother?"

"It matters not." Loki murmured upset, sensing the weightiness in his sibling's voice. He sunk further in the water until all Thor could see was his dark hair, forehead and glistening eyes.

"Care to share?"

"Mind your own business!" The younger prince suddenly spat while he stood up.

Water reached till his waist, hiding his hands. Yet the blond prince knew by the way the teenager's shoulders tensed that they were curled in fists. Thor was a bit taken aback by his brother's sudden outburst and sharp tone. He felt his own anger and frustration build up. He had been very patient with Loki lately, with all his crazy mood swings, which were really starting to annoy him.

"Well, excuse me if I'm concerned! Because you've been acting differently lately, brother! Why won't you confine me what bothers you?"

"There is nothing to confine!" Loki shouted back at his brother. "Now go away, I want to get dressed."

"What's the matter? It's not like I never saw you naked before."

"Just …" The younger prince sighed and forced to calm down. "Just give me some privacy, okay?" Thor looked confused and a bit hurt, but he consented. With a heavy and defeated sigh, he did exactly what his sibling asked him and walked away. Thor was unable to comprehend why his younger brother insisted in pushing him away every time. And decided he would get to the bottom of this mystery tonight.

* * *

**A/N**

**Amora and Sif are portrayed as Loki's and Thor's love interests in the animation movie "Tales of Asgard", to which I based myself for this chapter. You could say that quite some time has passed between the events in "Tales of Asgard" and my Fanfic Story line. I believe in "Tales of Asgard" Thor would be 17 years old, while Loki would be 15 in our counting (no idea how old they are according to Asgardian counting, I imagine, several centuries). In my storyline plot, the guys are currently Thor 19 years old and Loki 17.**

**So, what do you think about this story up so far? Have I suceeded intringing you?**

**Please share your thoughts and review :)**


	3. Conflicted

**Chapter 3:** Conflicted

* * *

Diner was quiet. None of the young males dared to utter one single word. The tension was unpleasant, nothing compared to the carefreeness they had shared during the afternoon. After dinner, Loki spread a broad blanket on the ground and laid on it. Despite the night being chilly and his hair still being wet, he didn't put on a cover. Thor looked at his brother's lying figure and shuddered when a chilly wind crossed his body.

"Mind if I join you?" Thor asked almost fearing Loki would shout at him again.

"Sure." Loki said. He was lying on his side with his back to Thor.

The older brother laid down next to the teenager and covered both of them with a blanket. They had slept like this since children every time they camped somewhere. Thor suddenly felt nostalgic for the days when they were little. When they were inseparable. Where Thor went, Loki was sure to be somewhere nearby. Back then, days were too short for the little princes that played all kind of adventures in the vast gardens of Asgard. But as the boys hit adolescence, they grew more and more apart within the years.

Thor walked the path of the warrior, often to be found training in the arena or fighting in the battlefields of the other eight realms. He became the popular prince, cherished and admired by the people of Asgard. Loki, on the other side, seemed to seek more and more solitude by isolating himself. He was the quiet one, but when he spoke his words were witty and often poisonous. He was usually to be found in the library lost in the old texts of large books; or in secluded parts of Asgard's palace, where he would train his magic peacefully.

The blond prince sighed a bit sadly. He needed to know what had changed. Why Loki was acting so distant and even hostile.

"Something troubles you, brother?"

"No Thor, just go to sleep." Loki suppressed a groan of irritation. It annoyed him that his brother kept insisting while he desired not to talk. The hard cold forest floor was far from being comfortable, making him even more cross.

"How can I sleep when you are displeased with me?"

"I am not displeased with you! I'm just not the outdoors type. Unlike you, I don't enjoy this petty kind of excursions."

Thor nodded silently, even though he knew his brother could not see him. The blonde prince was lying on his back, his eyes contemplating the shiny sparkles against the dark abode. He could feel his younger brother's back against his arm. He closed his eyes for moments, relishing the warmth his sibling's body emanated.

"Yet, it's rather nice being here, together. You and me. When was the last time we were actually alone, Loki?" Thor wondered, his eyes greeting the stars again.

"I don't know. Feels like ages." Loki said with a regretful sigh and was surprised for feeling a knot growing in his throat. "You're always away in expeditions with _your_ friends."

"They're your friends too."

"No, they're not. They are yours. They always were."

"That's not true."

"Is it not?"

Thor fell silent for moments and considered his brother's interrogation. It was true that Sif and the Warriors Three often teased Loki or complained about his mischiefs behind his back. He always thought this kind of behavior to be harmless and innocent. But now he was wondering to what point there existed hostility between Loki and the others. To what point their friend's remarks about the raven-haired prince actually hurt him. Above all he wondered what happened during these years for his brother to stop confining him his troubles, his opinions, his thoughts. The blond prince realized with regret, he had lost track of his little brother's torments for a long while already.

He had to admit he did spend the majority of his time with his friends. He particularly recalled the most recent commemorative banquet, when Fandral and Volstag were praising his combating skills with lots of beer, company of girls and loud laughter. Thor remembered seeing Loki often staring blankly at him that evening. He recollected he couldn't quite read the expression his pale features bore. And when he would make eye contact with the teenager, Loki would smile back, although his smile never truly reached his eyes. Suddenly, a dreadful thought crossed his mind.

"Are you envious?"

"Envious of _what_?"

"Of me."

Thor's question was free from any kind of accusation or disapproval. It was a simple question, but one that needed answer. Loki let out an impatient sigh and turned around so he could face Thor. The elder brother was surprised to see an unfamiliar darkened glint in his sibling's eyes.

"Yes."

There was a pause. A moment of silence. When both siblings stared into the depths of each other's eyes.

"Why?"

Loki kept his gaze on his brother a short while until he broke it, so he too could lay on his back and rest his eyes on the stars.

"You are everything I am not."

"Loki…" But the raven-haired boy cut Thor's words.

"Well, it's true! Y-You are the mighty warrior, the prince of strength, Asgard's symbol of fortitude while I am… me!" Loki angrily spat, his right arm gesticulating in the air.

Thor shifted to his side so he was bending slightly over Loki. He could sense the younger prince wasn't enjoying the closeness, his personal space being invaded like this. Yet, he did not move an inch.

"You may lack some brawn, little brother, but you too fight well. You are agile and fast. Those are assets that can be as dangerous as brutal force. Besides, your strength resides on your intellect and magical powers. You carry knowledge enough to envy some of Asgard's highest scholars."

"Well, father doesn't seem to think like that." The younger prince spoke in a defeated tone.

_So that is what this is all about_. Thor realized. Loki's yearning in being recognized by father. The blond prince was worried with his little brother. Loki and father had now discussions almost every day, the youngest son speaking often defiant words and disobeying the All Father when it suited him. It was only natural Odin would reprehend his rebellious son.

"Father is proud of you, Loki."

"Is he truly, Thor?" Loki questioned, his voice stained with anger and hurt. His green eyes were on Thor's, reflecting the inner turmoil he was suffering. "Because sometimes I have the feeling he despises me. There is nothing I can do that is right in his eyes!"

"Father loves you." The blonde prince reassured, but Loki made a scornful sound, obviously not agreeing with his brother.

"Well, he doesn't particularly esteem me for choosing magic above combat. Let's face it, Thor. You are the son that embodies all the values he praises. And he's not the only one to think so. The people of Asgard adore you! Mighty Thor, the great warrior, wielder of thunder, protector of the nine realms. … Argh! It all makes me want to hate you!"

The last words had come out involuntarily. Realizing what he had just said, Loki quickly shut his mouth. He was shocked, embarrassed and guilty. He was unable to face his brother's gaze, so he closed his eyes and only opened them when he had turned his head to the side. There was no way he could look into Thor's bright eyes right now. He was sure he would find hurt and pity in them. And both were the last things he wanted to see in his brother's eyes. He inhaled deeply and sought to calm down before he would carry on. After all, his sibling wasn't talking, which meant he was giving him the space he needed, the chance to express his worries, to confine him like he so often did, a long time ago.

"People don't like me, Thor." Loki continued in a quieter tone, his words being mere whispers. He finally had the courage to look into his older brother's eyes. "I sometimes hear their murmurs echo in the walls of Asgard. They don't like me because I speak out my thoughts. Because I don't linger in trivialities such as war, food and partying. They call me the weaver of lies and tricks. " Loki cut his own words as the pain seemed to want to pierce his heart. He exhaled a deep sigh. "I am nothing what is expected from an Asgardian prince. S-Sometimes I just feel like I don't belong in Asgard."

"You are far from the truth." Thor quickly said, feeling increasingly concerned for his little brother's depressive self-image.

"Am I Thor? Am I really?"

"I am proud of you. I love you just the way you are. Surely that must mean something to you, little brother?"

Loki chuckled at his older brother's words and smiled affectionately at him. It was funny how Thor still managed to cheer him up, even in those days when dark and depressive thoughts wanted to envelope and swallow him completely. He looked up at the sapphire blue orbs staring back at him and gulped. There was that strange warmth growing up in his chest again. The one he's been sensing lately every time he saw or thought about Thor.

This new-found feeling troubled Loki greatly. It confused him. He yearned desperately for his brother's company in an unhealthy manner. In an obsessive manner. He craved to be with Thor at all times. He was hungry for his unconditional attention and affection. His mind was constantly whirling around his brother. Whether it was a positive or negative thought, it did not matter, because Thor seemed to be the only thing Loki could think about nowadays. Studying magic, reading, concentrating on whatsoever was becoming increasingly difficult because the image of his smiling sibling would simply pop up uninvitingly in his mind.

It scared Loki to no boundaries. The raven-haired prince knew whatever he was feeling for his brother, it was unnatural. It was wrong. So he figured out if he avoided Thor, this crazy feeling would eventually fade away. Loki would quickly find himself wronged. The more he evaded his brother, the more he missed him and longed being with him. But when he was with Thor, his body tingled and his heart ached knowing his brother loved him, but not in the same way he did. Loki would grow mad when his sibling gave attention to others, mainly Sif and nurtured a dangerous hatred for the maiden warrior. The jealously and frustration hurt so badly, he would take it all out in Thor, wanting him to suffer as much as he did. But when Loki succeeded, the ache in his heart only grew worse. It had been a maddening dizzy spiral, going on for weeks already. Loki could not get out of it. I was like being stuck in moving sands and he was hopelessly sinking faster and quicker in them. The fact his brother insisted in searching his company, always being kind around him, always being patient and forgiving, looking stunning, giving him that gorgeous smile, only aggravated things for the raven-haired teenager.

Loki wanted to break the hypnotizing gaze. Thor's piercing stare was making him feel uncomfortable. His heartbeat was already speeding up in an unhealthy rate. The only thing he was glad for, was that it was too dark to note his cheeks were burning red. He almost flinched when Thor gently rested his large hand on the side of his neck with a tender smile. His typical way of showing affection to his youngest sibling. Loki smiled involuntarily, this gesture always made him feel protected, cared and wanted.

Wanted.

Loki's eyes widened as he quickly reminded himself he wasn't having the proper kind of thoughts about his brother right now. The same disturbingly erotic fantasies that have been filling his mind in sleepless nights, making him feel both restless and disgusted by himself, were now invading his mind. Loki tried to vanquish these thoughts away. He knew they were wrong to all extends. But he couldn't help it. They were involuntary, unwilling and persecuted him with no mercy.

Loki's muscles tensed ever so slightly when he attempted to turn around again and lay with his back to Thor, guarded from his gaze. But the blond Asgardian anticipated his move and placed his other hand on Loki's waist, preventing him from shifting. The dark-haired teenager tensed completely and stared bewildered at his brother, the weight and warmth of his hand resting against his hip was making him heat up.

"Thor?" Loki asked hesitant and the eldest sibling's smile grew larger but also softer.

The raven-haired prince felt his whole body temperature increase. He was sure he was already sweating from nerves, fear and sickening expectation. All his muscles contracted and his heart started to pound madly when Thor's face came closer to his. Loki wanted to buck away, he wanted to whisper Thor to stop, but he had lost command over his own body. He was paralyzed. And so, his widened green eyes saw his brother close the small distance between their faces, until their lips met.

* * *

**Oh my... **

**Feelings, so many feelings...What are yours about this chapter?**

**I would like to know ;)**

**Please review **


	4. Only tonight

**Chapter 4:** Only tonight

Loki stopped breathing. The air was stuck in his lungs. His heart was pounding so fast, he could hear it bang in his ears. He was sure it would soon explode. He could feel his cheeks glow and his chest warm up. It was a small tender kiss. The ghost of the touch of lips on lips. The sweetest of all caresses. And Loki was very well aware this was not a brotherly caress, but one only shared by lovers.

"W-What are you doing?" Loki asked confused.

He knew his brother loved him, but not like this, right? He was sure he was the only one having erratic thoughts about his sibling. Until now at least. Both fear and hope filled his heart at the thought this could be mutual.

Thor smiled with a soft chuckle and his lips brushed the younger prince's again. It felt good, incredibly good and this time Loki pressed his lips against his brother's. Thor gently pushed his sibling's body closer to his, so they were closely pressed against each other. He pecked Loki's lips several times until he desired more. So he moved his tongue and touched the youngest prince's lower lip. The bold move startled Loki, reminding him of the incestuous nature this kiss had. He broke it and pushed Thor a bit in panic.

"This is wrong!" Loki gasped horrified at his desires. At his brother's desires. "It's wrong!"

"Tell me this is not what you want and I'll stop." Thor whispered.

Loki was sure he had lost all color of his face. He could lie, but his brother would know. He already knew. His brains told him this was wrong. This was a crime. An unforgivable sin. But he wanted this so much, like nothing he ever wanted before. His whole body was tingling from anticipation. So he said nothing and resisted not when Thor kissed him again. He resisted not when his brother shifted to lay on top of him, when he brushed his fingers in his damp hair, when he licked under his jaw line. To all this Loki resisted not and instead he released labored gasps. It felt good. It felt great. But it was forbidden.

"Only once then." Loki shakily whispered in his brother's ear as the blonde planted soft kisses on his neck. "Only tonight."

Thor did not answer. He did not at his brother's face. He halted with the caresses for only a few seconds, like if he was thinking about it. About Loki's illicit proposal. And then he restarted where he had stopped. He kissed and licked a line from Loki's neck to his earlobe. The younger prince's breathing was fast and arduous. Once in a while a faint moan escaped his young lips. He barely moved. His arms laid on the sides, his fingers grasping the ground under him. Loki was inexperienced, all these sensations being new to him. He did not resist but he did not cooperate either.

"Nervous, brother?" Thor asked in between small but enticing kisses.

"I-I…yes. You know I never did this before." Loki admitted with a shaky breath. Thor cupped his younger sibling's face and kissed his soft lips tenderly.

"I'll go easy on you."

"W-What do I do?"

"You don't need to do anything. Just go with the flow."

Thor gave another couple reassuring kisses on the younger prince's lips and sat back a bit, barely touching his brother's lap. He smiled sweetly at his younger sibling's face. Loki looked both frightened and brave. Thor had suspected his younger brother desired him. He had noticed the way the raven-haired prince gave him fleeting looks when they were walking in the halls of Asgard's palace or during the family's private suppers. Fleeting looks he interpreted as longing. Yet, he had always chosen to ignore them, believing it was nothing but the product of his wild imagination. Of his own unnatural desires.

But today's events changed his perspective. During the silent diner, Thor had contemplated Loki's absurdly contradictorily behavior during the day. He had easily shifted from carefree to irate. The look in his eyes had sometimes been expectant, sometimes filled with longing and hurt. Other times he concealed his face, acting suddenly shy and awkward. The blond prince had only two possible explanations. Or Loki's hormones were completely frenzied or his brother's feelings for him had changed over time. Thor had wished for the latter and, although he was now aware they confused his sibling, he had hope. Because his feelings for his younger brother had changed drastically during the past half year.

Thor always had adored Loki. That was something undeniable. As children, he always had the need to protect the smaller prince. Later, admiration was added to his protective instincts. Loki was growing up quickly in both intellect and height. He admired Loki's eloquent speech and loved listening to his calm but colorful voice while he talked about old kings, historical episodes and legendary heroes. Loki always had been the clever one of the two, but the last years his intelligence had stood out, making Thor both proud and humble for his brother's accumulated knowledge.

For the past half year, the blond prince had also been experiencing a new kind of feeling towards Loki. It was a kind of attraction he quickly realized was more than just fraternal. Thor had not been oblivious to how his brother was nearing adulthood. His face complexions were losing the childish chubbiness and were becoming pointier with well-defined features. His body, although slender, was growing elegant and gracious. Loki was growing up into a young handsome man. A beautiful one from which Thor could not take his eyes from. It all culminated to one great emotion.

"I love you, brother." Thor confessed.

Loki opened his mouth but shut it right away. He did want to speak out the same words, oh so desperately, but they died in his mouth. He gave a pained look when he saw disappointment and hurt fill the blond warrior's eyes. The look lasted mere seconds and was immediately hidden behind a wounded smile. The dark-haired prince had never felt guiltier.

"Thor…"

"It's okay. No need to say anything, Loki." Thor whispered while he planted a soft kiss on his brother's lips.

It was another of Thor's attempts in reassuring his troubled sibling. Loki smiled. A nervous one. He closed his eyes as the blond prince's tongue begged once again to enter his mouth. Hesitantly, Loki finally gave in and a small moan escaped his throat when the warm wet tongue entered his mouth and met his. They kissed for a long while, lingering in the sweet sensations, savoring the taste of tenderness and desire. Loki finally dared to move his hands, resting them on the eldest brother's back, caressing it in slow and gentle strokes.

After a while, Thor had to break the kiss to grasp for some air. He looked down at his brother just in time to watch him slowly open his eyes and read the reminiscence of pleasure still in them. He grinned proud of being able to please his young sibling in these new ways and traced soft kisses down the teenager's neck. He started unbuttoning Loki's coat. He noticed how tense the raven-haired boy became while he slowly undressed him.

"If you wish me to stop, do tell me, brother." He whispered before planting a kiss on Loki's collarbone.

"I do not wish you to stop."

Thor smiled relieved. He opened the coat completely and removed it, revealing the thin shirt that was tightly adjusted to Loki's pale skin. He could envision the body hidden under the material, the nipples, the subtle muscles, Loki's flat belly. The boy was so tense. So nervous. So scared. Thor sensed the small flinch when he slip his hand under the shirt, caressing his brother's silky skin. He could hear the younger prince's breathing become more strenuous, when his lips met his belly, traced up kisses while the shirt was being pulled up. A surprised moan escaped when Thor's lips enveloped one of his nipples.

Loki shut his eyes, while his fingers pressed against his brother's back. He had dreamed of this for a while already. In his mind, Thor had touched him a thousand times. But the dreams were nothing compared to reality. The real sensations were wild and crude. He couldn't understand how the faintest touch of Thor's lips against his skin could send such vibes of pleasure throughout his whole body, like small electrifying shocks. He couldn't comprehend how his heart rate kept increasing, how his body temperature raised, how every inch of his skin had become hypersensitive to his brother's touch. Loki understood nothing of his bodily reactions, impulses and needs. But he didn't really care. Because it all felt really good.

Thor disposed of Loki's shirt too. He carefully placed his hands behind his brother's bare back and pushed him closer to him. The blond Asgardian ravished Loki's skin with soft kisses, tasty licks and teasing nibbles. He grinned each time Loki would release a surprised moan, sounding almost like a small complaining yell. He could feel the boy's fingers grasp tightly his back, he too pressing their bodies closer together. The younger prince was becoming restless and fidgety. An involuntary yelp escaped his lips when Thor pushed his pants down his legs. The elder sibling bent over to see Loki's face and smirked.

"You're hard, brother." He said while his hand gently traced the growing genital hidden under the underwear's material. Loki shuddered with an afflictive moan. He was so jittery that he slapped his brother's hand away, when the smug words were spoken. Thor stared surprised at his sibling.

"And you're still fully dressed!" Loki accused in a complaining tone for his brother's relieve and amusement."

"You wish to see me naked, little brother?" Thor asked teasingly and Loki felt his cheeks glow from angry embarrassment. The blonde prince barked a laughter at Loki's angered expression.

"Well, it's not really fair, is it?" Loki murmured upset and Thor was sure his brother had never looked this adorable before.

"I guess it's not." The blond Asgardian agreed, while he removed his armor. Soon he had disposed his hauberk and grinned at his brother. He was fully aware of his manhood's beauty.

"Don't mock me." Loki whispered. He had meant to speak in a scolding manner, but ended up sounding vulnerable. He held his breath, feeling scared for the consequences of his exposure but sighed relieved with his brother's reply.

"I would never dream of." Thor sincerely said.

It was rare the occasion Loki would throw his defenses away and open up like he was doing right now. Thor leaned over and kissed his brother affectingly. He imagined how tonight must be a predicament for his sibling. He was after all exploring his sexuality in the most of unconventional ways. At least, the blond prince had lost his virginity with a non-relative female. He could only imagine how Loki perceived their present conduct as wrong if not abominable. But the teenager was clearly choosing to push his worrisome thoughts this time away, discarding his admirable prudence and instead following his heart blindly. So Thor decided he would do everything to make his brother feel comfortable and show him how much he venerated him.

He gently pressed his chest against his brother's. He continued kissing tenderly, although passion was feeding itself on it. His hands caressed Loki's body like if he was priceless and delicate. He responded to the teenager's reactions quickly learning what relaxed, excited and frightened him. Thor could feel their erections grow, but didn't want to hurry things up for his brother. Their hips started moving slowly at their own accord. It was only when Loki's fingers slip under his pants with a soft moan that Thor decided to remove them. He didn't take his eyes away from his sibling's while he undressed himself and could read the lust and nervous anticipation in the teenager's eyes.

He laid down again on top of Loki, both emitting muffed moans as they kissed. They were both practically naked now, their underwear being the only piece of clothing still on. The kisses were becoming more and more passionate and Loki was becoming more responsive at Thor's touches and advances. The elder sibling moved his erection against his brother's, increasing the friction, relishing Loki's restless meowing. Thor's fingers slip under his brother's underwear, causing a wince and a louder moan. The raven-haired prince kissed more passionately and Thor continued building up the excitement between both bodies. His hands gently enveloped Loki's erection, causing another wince and a startled moan.

"Is this okay?" Thor asked as his fingers encircled his sibling's growing genital and carefully rubbed it up and down.

"Ah yes! Shit, Thor, feels good!" The younger prince confessed with a shaky breath, while his eyes rolled back.

Thor smiled and watched fascinated as Loki pushed his head back, bit his under lip to release it just afterwards when a pained moan escaped, the mark of his teeth leaving the lip red and swollen. The blonde warrior became curious and wondered if he would be able to drive his brother insane with pleasure in the same manner Sif had once done with him. He thus released his brother's erection from the underwear and lowered himself down to kiss the warm hardness of the cock's head. Thor heard the surprised satisfied gasp and felt more confident to advance in his indulging. His tongue licked the head and its underline, teasing Loki with torturous pleasure, before Thor took the full length into his mouth. Loki became increasingly restless. The treatment his older brother was giving him felt thousands times better than when he silently released his body's tension during lonely nights. Thor moved the hardened length inside his cheeks and throat, encouraged by the gentle meowing, moaning and labored gasps Loki was emitting. The blond Asgardian had to force himself to concentrate in Loki's needs, as he felt himself grow harder from the responses he was getting. The younger prince started rocking his hips more wildly, eager for release, pressing his fingers on Thor's head, guiding him to stroke the fully grown cock up and down his throat. There was a satisfied cry and Loki's whole abdomen shuddered during his orgasm. Thor had been unprepared for his brother's unloading and let the semen spill out of his mouth between gasps.

"You must feel relieved now, brother. That was a lot of accumulated tension down there." Thor pointed out, seeing the quantity semen the younger prince's body expelled. Loki released a giggle for his brother's satisfaction. "Ready to take it to the next level?"

Loki was silenced for some seconds, the only sound he produced was his fastened irregular breathing. He looked up at his older brother and nodded with a timid smile. Thor leaned over to kiss his lips. Loki tasted himself in his brother's lips and thought he would go mad from how terribly wrong it was for it tasting so nastily good. Thor was marveled with the teenager's mixture of shyness and insecurity, lust and desire. He carefully disposed both their underwear, so the siblings were completely naked. The blond prince was on his knees, Loki's legs lying apart between them. His eyes lingered a while on his younger sibling's body. His index traced the line of Loki's chest and watched how the shadows played on the pale skin with the dim warm yellow light of the camp's fire. His eyes met Loki's.

"Do you trust me?" Thor asked. Although his brother had given him all the signs he wanted this, he still needed to be sure. He still needed Loki's permission. Because he knew, from this night on, things would never be the same between them.

"Yes."

Thor smiled, leaned over to meet his brother's lips again and gently laid down on his sibling's naked body. Loki's answer had been real and sincere. And Thor was going to make justice to it. While he kissed the younger prince, his hand traveled down Loki's back, waist and bottom. He sensed the anticipated gasp and his index sough his brother's entrance. There was a complaining groan and some labored gasps coming from the teenager, but he relaxed his body enough for the blond warrior to slip his finger deeper inside. Thor studied Loki's face and after a while he wet and inserted a second finger. The younger prince's brow was knitted and his facial muscles tense. But, like the first time, he relaxed again and breathed in several times. Thor wanted to make sure Loki's body was fully prepared, so he carefully inserted the third finger, this time causing a pained yell, followed by a curse. The breathing was more labored, but after moving his fingers slowly in and out, and making sure he wet the entrance enough with his saliva, Thor sensed his brother relax again. After a while, he could feel Loki's body was prepared.

"I'm going in." The blond prince warned, while he retrieved his fingers. He spread out his brother's legs ad Loki held his breath in fear and expectation. He released a painful groan, shut his eyes tight and clenched his teeth when he felt his sibling's erection stretch his body even further than the fingers had.

"Auw! Fuck!" He complained as Thor's member widened the tight gap, stretching it until the top of its head was inside.

"Are you okay?" The eldest sibling asked concerned, freezing completely, not daring to move either way. Loki released a few strenuous gasps before answering.

"I'm okay." Loki spoke in a gasp while he forced his body to relax. "I'm okay." He reassured his brother and wrapped his arms around his back, pushing him down to lay closer to him. "Don't stop." He whispered while he closed his eyes and kissed Thor's shoulder.

The blond prince could sense his younger brother's breathing stabilize and carefully moved a bit further inside. Loki emitted a small protesting sound and his fingers dug deeper in Thor's back. The blond warrior continued to slowly shove his erection inside till his erection was completely covered by Loki's warmness. It was taking all of his self-control not to hurt his sibling. Loki's untouched walls were tight and contracted as consequence of the initial painful feeling, only to stimulate Thor's own urges. He listened closely to Loki's breathing, focusing in the way his brother's body reacted while he slowly moved a bit out. After a while, Thor was comfortable enough to thrust more rhythmically in and out. Loki widened his legs, helping his brother's erection to slide better inside his body and moaned softly from the sensation that became increasingly better.

After the initial awkward moments, both siblings grew more at ease in their moves, interacting delightfully with each other, searching for the things that pleasured the other. Soon, Loki was moving his hips along with Thor's, accompanying their synchronic forbidden dance. They kissed a lot, passionately and tenderly, their hands traveling their young skins, tracing the contours of their bodies. Moans of pleasure were switched, going from soft and gentle to powerful and passionate. As the desire increased, their bodies changed speeds, going from very slow to erratically frenetic. Thor couldn't take his eyes away from Loki, marvelously hypnotized with his beauty, with his sensual movements, with his contented expressions.

When their bodies neared their climaxes Loki started acting the more restless. The physical pleasure was stirring up his for too long bottled up emotions. Sentiments he had been suppressing for weeks now were rising like boiling water and begging to be spilled out. His moans increased as Thor kept hitting an extremely sensitive part of his body, making his body shudder in pleasure and his heart bleed from emotion. He couldn't hold back his tears anymore. The heat in his body became unbearable and Thor touched in ways that drove him insanely happy and wildly desperate at the same time. The blond prince saw the tears and kissed them while he whispered his brother's name over and over like a mantra.

"Brother…" Loki whispered desperately between his breath intakes. The pleasure was becoming unbearable. He had stopped moving, being unable to accompany his brother's fast speed. "Ah, Brother…" Loki shut his eyes tightly, more tears slipping down his face while he listened to his sibling's guttural grunts above his own moans. "Brother!" The teenager yelled, while a strange torturous pleasurable sensation begged to be released. "I love you!" He moaned while his fingers dug in his brother's skin mercilessly. He felt his inside be ruthlessly banged, hitting his sensible spot over and over again, stopping him from breathing. His eyes opened wide as an unimaginable wave of sublime pleasure washed over his whole body, emptying his mind from any thought. "I love you so much!"

Loki buried his forehead against Thor's shoulder, grasped to his brother's back tightly while tears cascaded down his face. He savored the last aggressive pounding and listened to Thor's uncontrollable grunt as he too, reached his climax. The siblings remained quiet for a long while, breathing fast, relishing the afterglow. Loki released a shaky breath while his tears dried out.

"You're okay, Loki?" Thor asked concerned. He wiped the last tear drops away from his brother's cheeks. "I wasn't too hard on you, was I?" He asked unsure, afraid the tears were the result of his aggressive pounding during the last minutes.

"No. You were perfect." The raven-haired prince admitted with a soft smile.

Thor smiled widely and gently pecked his brother's lips. He slid to the side, but his arms never unwrapped themselves from Loki's warm back, so his brother was forced to move along and remain close to his body. More kisses were shared and the two young males laid intertwined on each other. The blond prince could hear by his brother's breathing he was falling asleep and smiled affectionately. Never in his life had he seen his brother's expressions so soft and yet so intense as tonight. Loki's confession still burned in his ears and filled his heart with happiness. And he wondered. Would they resist each other after this? Would this truly be a one-time event? Thor was sure he would have his answers in the morrow.

* * *

**I will admit it...I definitly enjoyed writting this marvellous sinful chapter**

**Did you enjoy reading it?**

**What do you think will happen next?**

**I am curious to you point of view**

**Please review :)**


	5. Our Secret

**Chapter 4: Our Secret**

Loki woke up with the soft feeling of lips gently pecking his shoulder and neck, while a warm hand held his. He released a soft contented sigh as he lazily woke up.

"Good morning, sleepy." Thor whispered in his younger brother's ear when Loki leisurely stretched himself, still keeping his eyes shut. He turned around and opened his eyes, sleep still very present in them.

"Good morning to you too." Loki whispered with a hoarse voice. Thor smiled widely at the sound, adoring it immensely. He gave soft kisses on his sibling's lips while he enveloped the raven-haired prince's body and turned him completely over, so Loki laid on top of him, causing amused giggles by the younger sibling. The blond warrior kissed his brother's neck and shoulder, making both males heart's rate speed up. "Thor, we agreed to do this only once." Loki spoke with a slightly shaky voice, as his body longed for his brother's already, but his mind warned him again about dangers.

"I do not remember agreeing to it." Thor whispered and looked at his younger sibling's face. He saw the fear and doubt written all over Loki's face, but the hunger was also already present in his eyes.

"Thor, we can be seen!" Loki spoke out his greatest fear.

"Who could possibly see us?"

"Heimdall of course! Father perhaps, even mother."

"You think too much."

"Somebody has to, since you don't!"

"Don't you have magic that can conceal us?"

"Yes, but it requires quite some concentration and I cannot really focus while we … you know." Loki explained embarrassed while he blushed terribly.

"Look, Heimdall would never interfere in our personal matters. As for father and mother, they are not here and they cannot see us. We are hidden. From them, from the world. It's only you and me." Thor whispered and softly pecked Loki's neck making him tremble from desire. "Don't you want this?"

"Yes, I do, but…"

"Shhhh. You worry too much. Live the moment." Thor shushed while his tongue traced the line from Loki's ear to his collarbone, making his sibling gasp from uncontrollable pleasure.

"You're so reckless." Loki whispered but sounded nothing nearby upset. He was already surrendering to his brother's touch as he allowed himself to be laid gently on his back again and Thor started caressing his naked body with his lips, tongue and fingertips. "You'll be the end of us."

"At least we'll have some fun before that." Thor said with a teasing smile, while he looked at his sibling's face. Loki released an amused chuckle and the older Asgardian knew he had won.

He kissed Loki's lips eagerly and his tongue was welcomed in his younger brother's warmness. He relished the metallic flavor and the soft caresses they both were sharing. Making love the second time went much easier, all the awkwardness, shyness and fears from the previous night having dissipated completely. Loki allowed himself to surrender completely in the game of love, collaborating eagerly with his brother's advances and moves. It was passionate as it was tender. The siblings explored they bodies and senses with more ease and comfort. They kissed, caressed and giggled while they made love. If was like if nothing else existed in this world. Only them and the love they felt for each other.

…

"How are the boys doing?" Odin asked after he entered the golden dome and greeted politely his trustful sentry. Heimdall turned to the Allfather with his typical impassive expression.

"The princes are well, my lord. They have found River Ferirama." The sentinel guard spoke.

"Good, then they are on the right path." Odin said contented. He put his hands together behind his back and paced a bit inside the dome. "And tell me, are they bonding?" Heimdall took a glimpse at Forest Aelhill and quickly found the princes.

"Yes, my lord. The princes are bonding."

"Good, good. Do inform me if something out of the ordinary happens. Those boys have a special talent in getting themselves into trouble when they are together."

"I will, Allfather."

"Until tomorrow then, Heimdall."

At this, Odin left the dome and the sentry finally released the breath he had been holding. What he had seen today was the confirmation of what he had seen the previous night. It was a short glimpse, a mere second, but just long enough to see that the two princes were having intercourse. Again. He immediately evaded his gaze as he didn't wish to watch the males in their most intimate moments together. He was not one to judge, but the nature of this incestuous relation worried him greatly. He would not tell Odin or Frigga. He would not tell anybody, afraid of the consequences and punishment the royal siblings would have for their misconduct, for the nature of this forbidden relationship. The sentry watched the universe, its stars and planets and many worlds. He knew in a few days, one of the princes would pay him a visit.

…

Time flew fast in Aelhill's forest. The brothers spent their days chatting, playing silly games and defying each other's combating skills. Usually they ended up having hot discussions in which Loki would go wild with Thor's haughtiness and ignorance. It would take a while for the blond Asgardian to finally manage to calm down his infuriated sibling, speaking him sweet words and indulging him with tender caresses. They would end up making love and relish the sweetness and the closeness it offered them. On the third day they finally reached the Ael Mountain's top and found a field full of Tear of Snow flowers. It was quite a sight, the hundreds of white petals glistering like thousands of diamantes, covering the ground like a white sparkly carpet. Loki bended slightly over and carefully picked up one of the flowers. He stood up, holding the Tear of Snow on both hands.

"It's so beautiful." Loki said absolutely fascinated. This was the first time he saw the Tear of Snow so close by. "So perfect." He said while he turned to his brother with a rare innocent smile. He noticed Thor was staring strangely at him. "What's the matter?"

"I wish we could stay here forever. You and me." The blond warrior said with a sad smile.

"So do I. But we both know that's not possible." Loki wisely stated. "Look on the bright side. It will take us at least another two days to get out of the forest." He said and his smile grew to his typical mischievous grin, causing a hearty laughter by Thor.

…

"Well, it seems like our honeymoon has ended." Loki spoke as the two princes reached the forest edge in the end of the fifth day. He had meant to say it as a joke but cursed his stained voice that betrayed him in this kind of moments. Thor looked at him and smiled sadly. Loki grimaced slightly when he met his brother's sorrowful eyes and redirected his gaze on the road ahead of him. "What happens now?"

"We go on with our lives, I guess." Thor said while he shook his shoulders. "I'll return to Sif, you'll return to Amora, take the next step with her."

"You are recommending me to have sex with Amora?" Loki asked, sounding clearly shocked. He wasn't sure he wanted that and he wasn't all too happy with the idea of his brother wanting to make love with Sif. "You are okay with that?"

"I think it's enriching to have more than one sex partner." Thor casually said with a shake of his shoulders. "It's only physical anyway."

"So _this_ was only physical?!" Loki bitterly questioned, a sting hitting his heart.

"I didn't say that."

"You just said that!"

"I didn't mean about you. I meant about _them_." Thor said like if it was the most obvious thing in the world and Loki stared at him with an expression of incredibility, realizing his brother's careless words were easily leading to a horrible misunderstanding.

"Do you love Sif?"

"No, I like her. I love you!

"You really should start thinking before verbalizing your thoughts!" Loki complained while he shook his head, but feeling quite relieved. "So, what's your idea anyway? We keep up appearances, live a charade, date girls, pretend we are in love with them and stuff?"

"Yes."

"Are you mad? I like Amora, I don't want to hurt her! And I frankly don't like the idea that you're going to be fooling around with Sif and afterwards with me! I mean… It's wrong, not to mention it's too risky!

"Loki, the only way we can stay together is to let the world believe we are just brothers and each one have his own romantic life. I know it's wrong to mislead Sif and Amora, but if we don't have girlfriends, somebody is going to understand something is off, until one day we are discovered."

"In that case, we mustn't see each other again." Loki declared decided.

"How long do you think we'll resist being separated, while we see each other every day, knowing what we have and, not to mention, our chambers are right next to each other?" Thor asked while he raised his voice slightly. "How did it work for you, when you tried to push your feelings away all this time? …Now, don't give me that look!" Thor said pointing his index while Loki gave him an exasperated look, indicating he would start yelling at his older brother any second now. "You think I don't know you are conflicted about us? You think I don't know the nature of our relationship is wrong? Don't think you are the only one that dwells in doubts and fears! Because I do too. I've been thinking this through more that you'll give me credit for!" Thor saw Loki open his mouth to contest but he lifted his hand in a halting sign. "Please, brother. Let me finish." Loki gave an upset look but closed his mouth again. "Look, after what happened between us, how perfect it feels when we are together… Loki, I don't want to lose that! I don't want to lose you. And I frankly don't see any other way to go around this situation!" Loki looked at his brother in a defeated manner and sighed.

"I would prefer to put this behind us…Can't we pretend it never happened?" The raven-haired prince asked, his voice filled with fear and uncertainty.

"Then just tell me, Loki. Tell to my face you don't want to be with me, and I'll leave you alone." Thor said determinate, locking his blue gaze on Loki's. The younger sibling swallowed dry. He looked lost for moments, while fear, sorrow and desire all mingled in his heart. How badly he wanted to look hard at his brother and weave one of his clever lies. How badly he wanted to deceive himself in believing it was possible to play pretend and go on with his life like if nothing particular had happened in Aelhill's forest. But today he couldn't. Today his heart was weaker than his mind. Today truth won over lies.

"I do want to be with you! I do want so much, but I'm afraid, Thor." Loki said in a helpless manner. "It's all so wrong! We are no supposed to be in love with each other."

"And yet we are. It's not like we chose to. It just happened." Thor said in a surprisingly calm manner. He placed his hand under Loki's jawbone, touching his neck. His voice and his gesture seemed to mellow Loki down, who lingered in the touch that always made him feel so safe and valued. "Do you regret?"

"No. Not one single second." Loki confessed with a smile and then a soft chuckle escaped his lips. "It's crazy, isn't it? Everything in our relationship is wrong and yet everything in it is right."

"Says my brother the poet and philosopher." Thor joked and Loki giggled amused. The blond Asgardian took pleasure in watching that spontaneous smile. "So, what do you say? We date our girls over day and see each other during the night?" He asked. Loki stared at him awkwardly, swallowed dry and then blushed terribly. This went against every moral conduct they were raised with. If their parents were to discover, they were truly doomed. If anybody else would discover, they would be judged unjustly, considered fools and their practice obnoxious. If their relationship would ever come out in the open, they surely weren't going to have a happy ending. Yet, Loki nodded. Thor smiled. "Then it will be our secret."

…

"Why am I not surprised it's you who came." Heimdall spoke while his gaze was on the vastness of the universe. He stood with his back to the person who had just stepped into the golden dome, but knew very well who it was. Above all, why he was here.

"I wanted to thank you for your discretion. For not telling anything to father or mother." The male voice filled the dome and Heimdall turned his head to face his visitor. He nodded in recognition of the prince's gratitude and watched him coolly pace with a thoughtful look. The prince halted when he stood opposite the sentry. If he was nervous, he hid it well. "Did you watch?"

"No, my prince. I did not." Heimdall calmly said.

"But you saw."

"A brief glimpse, while I searched for your whereabouts." Heimdall honestly answered and the prince seemed satisfied with the response, since he nodded and proceeded to walk in the dome.

"Can I trust you, to keep this secret?"

"Yes, my prince." Heimdall said while he listened the sound of footsteps behind him. They stopped when the prince stood in front of the doorway, about to leave.

"In that case, I trust you will not search for me and my brother during the nights." The prince said in a confident voice and left the dome without adding a word, fully knowing the sentry would never denounce them. The sentinel guard stared at the stars, planets and galaxies with an impassive expression, while he saw at the same time the prince walk over the Bifrost. He was not one to judge, although he considered the princes' decision unwise, but above all dangerous. And for that reason alone, he would never betray them.

"Of course, Loki."

* * *

**A/N**

**As you probably noticed, my interpretation of Loki in these first chapters, this one in particular, is very different of the Loki from the Movies franchise (I never read the comics, so I'm basing myself 99% on the movies). This is because these events place themselves before Loki's discovery of his real parentage and his fall in the Void. I wanted to portray Loki as almost adult, but not quite yet. I hope I suceeded in finding the balance between a prematured mature teenager and a boy that still lives in some of his childhood innocence, bearing the moral standarts taught by his family (namely Frigga). **

**I only realized after writing this chapter that I switched the roles between Thor and Loki in the discussion about their "sinful" path choice. Oh dear...**

**So, what do you think about this story so far? **

**Please, do review :)**


	6. Rivals

**Chapter 6: Rivals**

The promise the two siblings sealed the day they returned from Aelhill's forest was kept unbroken for many years. During the day, they would go on with their own routine and affairs, keeping up appearances and fulfilling their roles as princes of Asgard. But at night, Loki's magic would allow him to sneak into Thor's bedroom silent and unnoticed. All the walls of "make believe" were then torn down as they surrendered to their love. They were loyal to each other and the feeling they shared grew stronger by the day. This feeling of belonging became so solid they truly believed that _nothing _could ever break them apart. They were both sure they could never exist without the other.

"Amora and I did it." Loki whispered while he laid comfortably against Thor's body. They had just made love and reached the fever of pleasure practically simultaneously. The lovers were now relishing the warmth and coziness brought by simply being together. Despite the fact it had been Thor's idea and incentive for Loki to have sex with Amora, his heart did pang and a series of unsure thoughts did fill his mind immediately.

"Really, when?" The blonde asked using his most neutral tone.

"Today, after afternoon's practice, before dinner."

"It took quite some time for you two to finally do it." The elder sibling said while he looked at the ceiling, not wanting to transpire any of the jealousy and fears that were filling his heart right now. He was after all the one that had insisted almost in a daily basis that Loki should advance in his relationship with Amora to keep up the appearances. To avoid suspicions from any party. To fool the world into believing he was truly in love with the enchantress.

"None of us was really prepared for a long while. But lately we've been…" Loki paused, as he almost said "closer". He knew it would hurt his brother and he probably would think he was having a change of heart about their relationship. So Loki decided to be careful in his choice of words"…more physical. I guess at one point it became inevitable."

"And how was it?" Thor asked, continuing to fake his casual tone, his eyes never leaving the ceiling. Loki looked at him and swallowed dry. He knew exactly how his brother felt. The dreadful insecurity. The sickening fear. The horrible nausea. He had felt it too when Thor had told him he and Sif had done it right on the day they returned from Aelhill. But he knew their love was strong enough to transcend something this trivial.

"It was… different." Loki honestly said. "The female body is quite fascinating and it feels, - I don't know, just different."

"Was it better?"

"Thor!" Loki whispered in a scolding manner and his older brother finally looked at him. "You knew this would happen." The raven-haired teenager added in a mix of compassion and annoyance.

"I know. I practically forced you onto Amora."

"You know I love you. I could break up with her any time, really! If you want, I'll break up tomorrow. I don't really care if it hurts her or what she will think of me."

"No, Loki! That would be cruel!" Thor said shocked with his brother's coldness. Not so long ago Loki had passionately claimed he didn't want to hurt Amora, so Thor couldn't understand how his little brother could change of ideas this easily and in such a short span of time. But then again, the younger prince had been demonstrating lately to have little or no concern about people's well-being, independently of them being close to him or not. It was a strange taciturn distance, a kind of general indifference that troubled Thor. Loki was friendly, kind and warm towards him and their mother, but to the rest of the world he was ice cold. However, the older sibling didn't linger too long on these thoughts. "Besides, it could become suspicious." Thor added with a nervous smile. Loki's eyebrow arched and he sat up to look better at his brother.

"Why would it become suspicious?"

"Sif broke up with me today." Thor confessed, sounding more embarrassed than hurt. Loki stared shocked. It struck him how strange it was to feel both jubilant and sorry for his older sibling at the same time.

"Why did she break up? I thought things were great between you two! She didn't discover did she?" The raven-haired prince hastily asked, the thought of their secret being unraveled swelling a feeling of panic in his chest.

"No, Loki. She has no idea." Thor said half giggling for his younger brother's distress. He too sat up and rested his hand on the side of Loki's neck. "We have been growing apart for a while, actually. I guess I'm not as good in pretending as you are. Sif accused me of being distant and uninterested."

"What a bummer… What now?" Loki asked while he shifted to sit on his brother's lap, facing him.

He was glad Thor and Sif finally broke up and was sure should they remain together for much longer, he would have done something much worse than cutting off Sif's beautiful hair. But he was also aware his brother couldn't remain single for too long. Gossips were the worst kind of poison in the Universe and the last thing they needed was that people would start questioning the throne heir's romantic interests. He caressed the blonde's chest and pecked a kiss next to his lips, waiting for this brother's answer with some expectation.

"I guess I'll have to find myself a new girlfriend." Thor said while his hands caressed Loki's back and he kissed the young sibling's neck, who gasped in enjoyment.

"Uh, something tells me Sif won't be too happy with that." Loki said half giggling while Thor planted kisses all over his collarbone until they met his own lips.

Words quickly died out and gave place to more kisses. The siblings enjoyed the feeling of touches and caresses, of passion and tenderness, like they did every night. The love between them felt so strong that they were both confident it was strong enough to defy anything and anybody. They realized, they could have as many love affairs as they wanted, no woman could ever come in between them.

…

Odin stood by the balcony and watched the warriors training in the arena. He had a _dejá vu_ when he saw Thor exercising his battle skills against Sif and the Warriors Three, while Loki sat on the public seats, immersed in one of the library's books, shifting his eyes only once in a while to the arena. It had been many years ago when the Allfather watched his sons with a concerned eye. When he sent his boys to Aelhill's Forest to search for the Tear of Snow. Not much had changed since then, and yet everything seemed to be different. Loki had reached meanwhile adulthood and Thor approached the desirable age of becoming king. The boys had bonded, fortunately, just like he had hoped. After their return, the princes became best friends and were inseparable once again. Something he was very grateful for, because his sons still gave him a lot of worries.

When Thor had started dating Sif, Odin had hoped their relationship would evolve enough to lead to marriage. The maiden had proven to be a worth warrior, leader of soldiers, with a loyal and wise character. She would have been the future's king ideal match to counterpart the qualities Thor missed. But the eldest prince's growing arrogance pushed the young woman away, who decided to break up the relationship, because she desired independence and a more mature partner. Since then, Thor entered a spiral of short-lived relationships. It was very easy for the prince of Asgard to find a young woman pleasing to the eye. Next to his title and, consequently, his power; Thor was handsome, strong and charismatic. Alas, he seemed to get bored very easily with the women he got acquaintance with. The Allfather wasn't the least happy with the gossips that went around about Thor, portraying him as the imprudent prince he was, lackeding maturity and responsibility. A boy more concentrated in enjoying the pleasures of life than preparing for his future rule.

Loki, on the other side, was becoming a dangerous rival. He still lacked popularity and charisma, but his intelligence, astuteness and knowledge in the subjects of politics and war were impressing more and more high-ranked scholars of Odin's Court. Just like his politeness and wisdom was becoming respected among the common people of Asgard, despite his general coldness. The Allfather knew Loki still ambitioned the throne. He had already been clear that Thor was the heir to the throne and not him. But Loki was stubborn and not one to give up his desires easily. Odin wondered to what point the prince was prepared to betray his brother. Because he knew his youngest son would easily betray his father.

The raven-haired prince had long outdone his rebellious phase. From one day to the other, Loki simply stopped refuting Odin. Instead, he acted too mellow, too polite and too obediently. Odin, of course, knew he was full of lies, but the worst part was that Loki clearly wanted him to know it was all just a pretend. The younger prince openly defied his father by giving him secretive mischievous looks that meant he was up to something. Looks that were only meant for the Allfather, and not even Frigga noticed them. Alas, for Odin, he had not one single tangible proof his younger son was misbehaving, just like he couldn't quite figure out what Loki was up to.

The Allfather was growing more and more concerned with Loki. His son had evolved into a young man with a cold bitter heart. Amora, who had been his first sweetheart, still suffered from their break up. Just like any young woman who had the misfortune to fall under Loki's interest. They would date and live for a while in what appeared to be an idyllic romance. Until the day the prince grew bored and would abruptly end up the relationship, without showing one bit of compassion or regret. There was a lot of gossip about him too, speaking of a brilliant mind with a cruel heart. It also worried Odin greatly that Loki had embraced his new titles such as God of Mischief, Weaver of Lies, The Deceiver and carry them around with pride.

To add to all of that, lately, Thor and Loki would get themselves in dangerously feisty fights. Odin had recently been informed about the princes' aggressive disputes, but only today did he realize how serious they were, as he finally had the chance to witness one himself.

It had happened during their private dinner, in which only the four members of the royal family were present. While they were eating quietly, Odin had sensed some kind of tension existing between the two Thor started talking about one of his successes in the battlefield, out of the blue. Odin first discarded the bragging until he realized it was all a provocation for Loki. He and Frigga had been shocked with the quantity of poison his words bore. Further from his completely uncharacteristic behavior, it was an absolute role changing between the two brothers. The raven-haired prince immediately retaliated with his clever and wicket words. The discussion escalated as the insults and accusations became more and more personal.

Battle with words was not Thor's territory so when he was unable to strike back Loki with arguments, he punched him in the face. The princes were so out of their minds and so absorbed in their own conflict, that they didn't even hear Odin and Frigga's screams and commands to stop. The fight had been highly aggressive, in which Loki was easily overpowered by the older brother. Thor only stopped when Frigga jumped in between him and Loki. Only then did he realized how badly he had beaten up his brother and quickly started begging for forgiveness, which was reluctantly accepted. The blond had offered to take his little brother to the infirmary, which was refused by the proud prince. In the end, he was escorting a very silent and hurt Loki to his room.

"I can't believe Thor just did that." Frigga confined with Odin after she ordered a guard to bring dinner to the princes' chambers. "It's not like him to speak like that, to anybody."

"Loki must have upset him with something today." Odin said with a thoughtful expression. "I guess Thor wanted Loki to taste a bit of his own poison."

"Well, that didn't go well, did it? I will talk with them tomorrow, separately." Frigga told. "This kind of behavior simply cannot be tolerated."

"I'm sure they will listen to you. They always do."

Odin said in a supportive manner while he rested his hand on his wife's shoulder. She gave it a gentle squeeze with her hand and then kissed his skin. Frigga smiled, convinced it was another silly phase her boys were in. They always had fought, since little children. And crazily enough, the more they fought, the more they seemed to love each other and their bond would be strengthened. She smiled at the thought her sons were truly peculiar.

…

"I hate you." Loki mumbled upset while Thor cleaned some blood from Loki's cheek with a damp towel.

"I'm sorry." The blond Asgardian said for the thousandth time.

"Stop apologizing, will you?" Loki said, his tone still annoyed, while he pushed the cold towel away from his face. "And stop fussing so much! I've been in much worse shape anyway."

"Yeah, but that were enemies. I hit you!"

"Like it's the first time! You always hit me, already as children."

"That was because I was clumsy and had no control over my strength! Now, I don't have control over my anger."

"You had a good reason today." Loki said giving the first smile since they left the dining room.

"Why did you kiss her in front of me, anyway?"

"I wanted to make you upset, which I succeeded, by the way."

"Why?"

"Revenge, of course."

"Revenge for what?"

"For you gloating all the time how awesome you are and how you'll be king and shit like that." Loki said in a tone which meant this was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why do you want the throne so badly anyway?"

"I never wanted the throne." Loki confessed and Thor stared surprised at him. "I just want to be your equal."

"But Loki, you are my equal."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. I let you go on top all the time." Thor say with a grin and Loki failed in suppressing a chuckle.

"Don't change the subject."

"I love you. Now, let me kiss those wounds away." The blond Asgardian seductively said against Loki's ear, making him shiver. Loki smiled as he realized, even after the countless times they've been together, it still thrilled him each time.

"You cannot fix everything with kisses and sex." The raven-haired prince protested.

"Yes, I can. You get really mellow from it." Thor said while he planted kisses on the small cuts and bruises. Loki closed his eyes, enjoying the sensations and cursing his brother for knowing him this well. His eyes shot open when there was a knock on the door. After years of sneaking into Thor's room, he was still jumpy every time he heard a sound. He watched silent as his sibling stood up and walked to the door.

"Who is it?"

"The All Mother sent me with your dinner, my lord." A male voice was heard from behind the door and Thor opened it smiling widely.

"Do thank her for me." He said while he received the two plates. "Oh, and please tell her Loki is fine." The guard nodded with a small bow and walked away. Thor closed the door and placed the plates on the table. He turned to Loki. "So, do you prefer to eat before or after we make love?" Loki giggled amused at the question. He leaned a bit back and made a sign with his index for Thor to come to join him. The god of thunder accepted the invitation promptly, practically jumping on his sibling and invade his mouth, causing amused laugher by both of them. He shifted so he could lie fully on top of Loki, his grip around his brother strong and demanding.

"Auch! Fuck, you're such a brute!" Loki complained when his brother accidently pressed against a bruised part of his body. The blond warrior apologized and then undressed this brother's shirt so he could see the bruises on his skin. He gently touched the swollen areas with his fingertips, causing a hiss from his brother. He kissed after apologizing again (making Loki roll his eyes) and he could sense his sibling relax under his touch. "Just be careful, will you?"

"I'll be. I promise." Thor whispered and pecked Loki's lips.

They kissed tenderly and moved slowly because of Loki's bruises. Confessions and declarations of love were whispered, a mantra that was repeated night after night. The intensity of their love seemed never to diminish. The more they were together, the more they needed and craved to be together. In the bedroom there existed no lies, no facades, no make believe. The bedroom was their world, their safe haven, the place where they didn't need to make other's believe they were just brothers and nothing more. The bedroom was the only place they were true to each other and to their feelings, embracing them without any perjury or regret.

…

"Why do we keep fighting all the time?" Thor wondered out loud during their afterglow, their legs and arms still wrapped around each other. Loki shifted to rest his chest on the blonde's torso, so he could look at his face while his fingers played with the golden locks.

"I guess that's what happens when poles collide." The raven-haired prince whispered with a mischievous grin before pecking his brother's lips. Thor released a small chuckle and his lips remained smiling while Loki laid his head on top of his heart. The younger prince closed his eyes for a while enjoying the closeness, listening to his sibling's strong and steady heartbeat. "I want to grow old with you." Loki confessed, his voice pleading and almost scared. Thor smiled silently and placed a kiss on his brother's head.

"We will grow old together, little brother. That I promise you."

"What if one of us dies first?"

"I won't let that happen."

"Can you defy death?"´

"For you, I'll defy anything."

Although Loki knew it was a promise impossible to keep, he somehow believed his brother. The words smoothed his mind and the raven-haired prince fell asleep with a sincere smile on his lips.

* * *

**A/N**

**"By many years" at the beginning of this chapter, I mean, according to the Asgardian time counting. Loki is around 19 years old and Thor around 21 years old according to Midgardian counting. Just to clarify and give you some chronological guidance.**

**So, if you are reading this story, what do you think so far? It might feel too idylic or even slow, but I promise, things will start to shake off from the next chapter...I'll say no more. No spoilers!**

**Please, don't be shy, just review :)**


	7. Dark Thoughts

**Chapter 7: Dark Thoughts**

Odin declared in a private assembly consisted by Frigga and the princes that in the following month he would proclaim Thor as the new king of Asgard. Needless to say the god of thunder was jubilant. He gave a cheerful scream while he jumped once, turning to face his loved ones with great joy. Odin didn't look particularly amused by his childish behavior, Frigga was commanding Thor with her eyes to restrain himself and Loki was clearly biting his tongue to stop himself from spitting out poisonous words. The Allfather would announce his decision to the Court and afterwards to the citizens of Asgard that very same evening. A lot of preparation would be needed for the coronation. Thor listened diligently as his father spoke, containing himself from fidgeting from joy, turning once in a while in his brother's direction with a wide smile. He was so blissful, he didn't even notice Loki barely managed to smile in return.

When Odin declared the assembly was over, he went to embrace his older son. Afterwards, he walked pass Loki and didn't miss the loathing glare his younger son was sending him. All he hoped was that the raven-haired prince wouldn't do anything rash. Frigga too hugged Thor afterwards and gently patted Loki's shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile. The parents left, leaving the two siblings alone. Thor turned with a wide grin to his brother and Loki forced himself to give a small smile in return.

"Congratulations, brother." He icily spoke. Thor noticed the displeased tone and his grin slowly faded.

"Are you angry with me, Loki?" He asked afraid, sensing the tension around his younger sibling.

"No, Thor. It's not you I'm angry with." Loki said in a much smoother tone and Thor's shoulders relaxed while he released a soft sigh of relieve. "I'm happy for you. I truly am. This is what you always wanted, after all."

"Oh, I love you so much, brother!" Thor happily said while he hugged Loki, lifting him in the air and pressing his body so tightly that the younger sibling couldn't breathe for a few seconds. The younger prince laughed a bit awkwardly after Thor landed him back on the floor.

"Now, go tell your friends." Loki said with a shy smile.

"Are you not coming?"

"I'll catch up with you later on."

"Okay. But don't take too long. We must celebrate!" Thor enthusiastically said, to which Loki nodded with a kind smile.

Thor left the room and Loki was finally alone. His smile quickly died out and was instead replaced by an ugly scorn of pure hatred. He wanted to scream, but knew he would be heard. So instead he restrained himself for five seconds and then, suddenly, released a magical energy blast, knocking down the chairs and some other objects. He panted as he repressed the anger that was building in his chest. Odin had chosen Thor to be king. Of course he had chosen that oaf instead of him! Thor was after all his favorite, the apple of his eye. Odin always praised everything thing Thor did, every single achievement, every stupid victory. It was amazing how the Allfather had allowed Thor to develop an insupportably arrogant discourse and behavior, stimulating it instead of dampening. Loki clenched his teeth as he tried to understand what he had done wrong. He was intelligent, polite, and even obedient. All right, so he defied Odin once in a while. But every time politics were subject, it was he, not Thor, who demonstrated to have the right understanding of it. Odin even often told Thor he should take his younger brother's example and learn from him. So why chose him? Loki paced from one side of the room to the other. It made no sense at all. He was the better choice, not his oldest brother. Loki's hands were balled and became white from the pressure, his nails digging in his flesh. There was only one explanation he could think of. No matter how much he claimed to love him, Odin clearly disliked him. He always did. If only he knew why.

…

Thor wandered in the empty halls of Asgard's palace with a look of concern plastered on his face. Loki had not appeared during the afternoon to celebrate Thor's future kingship. He was absent when Odin publicly announced the news to the Court and to the people of Asgard. Loki had also missed diner, leaving a guard to warm the royal family the raven-haired prince was not feeling well. When Thor went to his brother's room, he was not there to be found. The god of thunder sighed worriedly. He had figured out Loki had lied to him. It wouldn't be the first time. He wished his brother could be truly happy for him, because all he wanted was to share his blissfulness with his youngest sibling. Yet, he knew he should have known better. Loki had confessed years ago of how envious he felt about him. Thor knew this envy was related to their father and that, despite the love and loyalty he and Loki shared, this envy kept being fueled. Thor was aware that Odin treated his sons differently, he was much stricter with Loki than with him. How could he not, when they were practically opposites? When Loki was so smart and rebellious. He wanted to find Loki let him know that Odin loved him nevertheless. Alas, Thor knew perfectly well that, when Loki didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

…

Thor had been surprised to find Loki in the arena, training with the Warriors Three. It was seldom for the younger prince to trade his books for combat at his own initiative. The older prince made his presence clear with a kind greeting, which was enthusiastically reattributed by his friends. Loki glanced only briefly, but Thor could see the darkness in his eyes. He was clearly not pleased to see him.

"I heard you were unwell yesterday, brother. I'm glad to see you're feeling better." Thor kindly said, but his heart bounced in his chest of fear, because he could see in the manner Loki looked at his shoes and by the way he moved his jaw that he was really pissed off.

"You were sick yesterday? And I thought all this time you didn't come to the party because your pride was too wounded." Fandral cheerfully said, missing the furious glint that crossed Loki's clear eyes.

"What did you have?" Volstagg asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"It matters not. I am better now." Loki coldly said.

"In that case, you won't have a problem in having a rematch, will you?" The oldest of the warriors asked, while he lifted his axe. Loki half turned to him and his look became even colder, despite of the malicious grin he gave.

"Why not." Loki coolly answered.

Fandral and Hogun switched confused looks, both sensing the uncharacteristic dangerous iciness in the younger prince's undertone. Thor opened his mouth to protest, but before he had the chance to say anything, Loki and Volstagg engaged in a man-to-man battle. Thor watched silenced but concerned as the two danced in a combat, in which their assets and styles were very different. Volstagg had the advantage of experience and strength, while Loki had the youthful energy and speed. The young prince managed to avoid and dodge the older warrior's attacks and trick the other one into believing he was winning, for the god of mischief purposely battled more in the defensive. The moment Volstagg became overconfident and thought to claim victory, the roles quickly changed.

Loki became faster, his movements more precise and daring. Because his daggers were small sized weapons, he needed to build his way closer to Volstagg, who kept his distance safe by waving his axe in the air. The fight became more aggressive. The older warrior became the more frustrated, the temper getting the better of him, his attempts in defeating the prince becoming increasingly and annoyingly unsuccessful. Loki, on the other side, moved in a more secured and confident manner, he seemed to calculate well before attacking or defending, so he could predict and anticipate Volstagg's next move. At a certain point, the older warrior lost his coordination, becoming confused by Loki's fast movements, so he ended up attacking in a random and clumsy way, his axe hitting more and more deeply into the ground.

Loki dodged a few dangerous attacks by turning and shifting from one side to the other. When Volstagg finally let an open space, making him vulnerable to his rival, Loki kicked him fully on his belly so the warrior fell on his back from the impact. In a fast movement, Loki blocked Volstaag's movements by placing one foot on his chest, while he pointed one of his daggers on the neck, just under the chin. For several seconds, both warriors remained frozen, panting heavily and staring into each other's eyes. Loki lingered some seconds with the point of the dagger pressed the other's skin until he released it in a slow cautious movement. He stood up looking strangely dazed. In the meantime, Fandral and Hogun quickly ran to Volstagg so they could help him get up.

"Are you all right?" Fandral kindly asked, with an amused smile on his face. "Loki really got to you this time, didn't he?" He added with a chuckle. But his smile vanished when he saw the look of shock and confusion in Volstaag's face. Fandral and Hogun turned to look at Loki and read the same expression on the prince's face. Loki looked pale. His eyes shifted nervously from one to the other and then he looked at the dagger he was still holding in his hand, which was trembling slightly. He carefully kept it inside his coat, like he always did, while he turned around.

"Loki?" Thor asked concerned, sensing the unfamiliar tension in the air. Loki's head shot in his direction and the older prince saw a horrible kind of fear creep in his sibling's eyes. Without a word, the raven-haired prince started walking away, in an almost unbalanced manner. "Loki!" Thor shouted and made a short run to his brother.

"Leave me alone!" Loki yelled while he turned around abruptly. Thor could read the distress in his brother's eyes and his concern grew stronger by the second. "Please, leave me alone." Loki begged in a gasp and Thor hesitated. The younger sibling turned around again and after a few hasty paces, he ran out of the arena. The god of thunder was about to follow him, when he heard a voice behind him.

"Let him go, Thor." The blond prince turned around to face Volstagg, who stood between Fandran and Hogan. "I think the lad needs some space right now."

…

"I thought I might find you here." Thor said while he walked in his sibling's direction.

Loki sat on the top one of Asgard's palace's domes and didn't even bother to acknowledge his brother's presence. He had known it was a question of time until Thor would finally find him. In a matter of fact, he had wanted Thor to find him, probably the reason he sat where he sat. The older sibling took a place next to him and looked up to the darkening skies. The sun had set and the first stars were already shining. "That was quite a battle you had back there with Volstagg. There was a moment I actually thought you were going to kill him." Thor said in a sincere and carefree manner.

"So did I." Loki whispered and rested his chin on his knees, which were wrapped by both his arms, making him look smaller. Thor looked at his brother's face and recognized the same distress on his tensed facial muscles he had seen earlier that afternoon. He didn't really know what to say so he rested his hand on Loki's shoulder. He was shocked when his brother flinched and shifted in a brusque manner and stared at him with a terrified look.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Thor reassured, his hand still midway the air.

"But I might!" Loki almost yelled and Thor slowly backed his hand away. Loki released a shaky breath and Thor noticed he was shivering.

"Are you cold, brother?" Thor asked concerned.

"No." Loki whispered and Thor bitterly realized his brother was shivering from fear. He could see his green eyes water while they darted nervously from one side to the other, like if he was afraid somebody else would appear. "W-What is wrong with me Thor?" He whispered in a gasp. "What is wrong with me to go to the point of losing control over myself?"

"You didn't lose control. You didn't hurt Volstagg."

"But I almost did! I was going to! Thor, there was a moment I truly wanted to dig my dagger in his throat and slip it open!"

"But you didn't. Volstagg is fine."

"You don't get the point do you? It doesn't matter if I didn't hurt him. It matters that I _wanted_ to hurt him, with no reason for it! I-I mean…its Volstagg! Who would want to hurt him in first place?" Loki nervously said, his voice shaky and stained by fear. Some tears escaped his eyes unwillingly and his hands shook terribly, as he joined and separated them repeatedly, like if he didn't know what to do with them.

"It is okay, Loki. It's normal to lose your head for some seconds during the heat of a battle. Even if it's only training." Thor reassured his younger brother, while he rested his hand on Loki's back who, this time, consented.

"Did you ever lose your head?"

"No. But I'm different."

"Yes, you are. You don't carry this anger… t-this unbearable rage bottled up inside of you that seems to want to tear the being out of me!" Loki nervously said, while his shivering fingers moved back and forward his chest. "I am afraid of myself, Thor. I-I am afraid of what I am capable of doing! What will happen when this rage is too much to bear? You don't imagine the dark thoughts I have sometimes. I try to shake them away, because they terrify me! Because they are so horrible!"

"Loki, you must not think so ill about yourself. You didn't do anything wrong." Thor tried to calm his brother down, but Loki was too distressed to believe any of his smoothing words and shook his head miserably, while thicker tears cascaded down his face.

"You have no idea of what I could do if I would surrender to my dark thoughts." Loki confessed, while he locked his gaze on Thor's. "Thor, there will come a day I will hurt somebody. I'm afraid it will be you. Because I love you so much and I hate you so much too!"

"Don't speak of such nonsense, brother."

"I'm not speaking of nonsense! You're not listening! What will you do when I'll turn against you? What will you do when I'll be beyond reasoning? What will you do when I'll try to…" Loki put a shaky hand in front of his mouth. _Kill you_. He was unable to speak out loud his last thought. Because it was too horrible to vocalize.

"Oh, Loki. Why do you torment yourself like this?" Thor asked while he wrapped both his arms around his sibling's back.

Loki rested his head on his brother's shoulder and released a few miserable sobs, while he cried the rest of his tears out. Loki's fingers dug his older sibling's back, desperately seeking for the feeling of protection and safety he always felt when he was with Thor, but this time not finding it. Not even Thor could protect him against his own dark fears anymore. Loki closed his eyes and took deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down, while his mind replayed the great mistake he had already made the previous day.

Yesterday was the day Loki had surrendered to his dark thoughts for the first time. After learning Thor was to become the new king, Loki had let himself be completely consumed by his rage and frustration. His mind quickly forged a plan to ruin his brother's coronation day. Yesterday, was the day he broke all his father's rules by travelling unnoticed to Jotunheim and make a deal with King Laufey. He had initially though that it was just a small mischief from his part, but now that his mind was clear from any ardent emotion, he realized the seriousness of what he had done. He had involved himself in dangerous political affairs and endangered the truce between the two enemy realms. All because of his childish and selfish motives. The worst part, was that he had gone too far already to turn back. It was impossible to undo what he had started.

Now he was faced with the fact he had no other choice but to fulfill his end of his bargain, in order to avoid a retaliation from King Laufey. So he decided to stick to the plan, but in a way he could minimize the dangers. If he would do things properly, the Frost Giants would die even before coming close to their goal. If he was lucky, the Allfather would chose to keep the truce between the two realms and consider the invasion the result of a minor security breach. He would consider the raid attempt as one taken by a few rebellious Frost Giants, acting independently from Laufey. Loki could still set up things so the truce between Asgard and Jotunheim would remain unharmed. Loki finally calmed down, resting himself assure that he still could ament his irrational and impulsive action. All he had to do was to limit the damage to the lowest possible level.

* * *

**A/N **

**Just wondering...is anybody even reading this?**

**Feedback is important, otherwise, how will I know if the story is good?**

**So please, just take a short minute a leave a review ;)**


	8. Changed

**Chapter 8: Changed**

The only thing that could have gone wrong, the smallest imaginable of all improbable possibilities actually happened. Loki had planned this out so carefully and so well-thoughtfully. He had deposited all his energy and wisdom in placing down the pieces of the game in such a strategic manner, that he was sure he had been able to annul any damage he could have originated. However, today all his efforts in amending the sole rash decision he ever took were overruled. And it had all been Thor's stupid fault! Him and his childish overconfidence! With a single foolish bold action, Thor had managed to destroy centuries of the peaceful alliance between Asgard and Jotunheim. And why? All because his petty little party was spoiled!

Loki cursed himself for his own irrational impulsiveness the day he decided to make a deal with King Laufey. Above all, he cursed Thor for being the loud and violent person he was. What was supposed to be just _a bit of fun_, turned out to be a real nightmare. They had travelled to the cold lands of Jotunheim and only survived because he had had the sense of warning the guards, so Odin saved them in the most perfect of timings. Then he witnessed his brother being stripped off his powers and be banished to Midgard. Of course Sif had to come and beg him to talk with the Allfather and convince him in bringing Thor to back Asgard. Loki did agree that Odin's decision in exiling his brother went too far, but he was also confronted with the fact that, what Thor had done was absolutely arrogant, reckless and dangerous. Loki was divided between his heart and sense. He loved Thor above anything in this universe, but his brother was not the kind of ruler Asgard needed. Besides, Thor had become so overconfident that he had stopped listening to his or anybody else's advises.

Despite all the recent developments, Loki didn't linger in these thoughts for too long. There was another matter that haunted his mind. Something that confused and scared him so much, that he couldn't think clearly. He needed answers and there was only one way he could get them. The raven-haired prince slowly paced to the Casket of Ancient Winters. His heart bounced too fast inside his chest, while he hesitantly touched the casket with both his hands. He felt a wave of nausea sweep through his entire body as he watched the skin of his fingers slowly become blue.

"Stop!" Loki recognized his father's voice in the background, while he saw the new shade spread to his hands.

"Am I cursed?" Loki gravely asked. He somehow already knew the answer, but he needed to hear he was wrong. He needed to hear he was not_ what_ he thought he was.

"No." Odin merely said. By now, Loki was aware his whole body was covered under this new shade of blue. The prince slowly placed the casket back on its rightful place and asked the only question his mind desired to know.

"What am I?"

"You're my son."

...

Lies. It all had been lies. Loki felt sick. He couldn't breathe properly. His head was dizzy. His heart was about to explode. He stared at his father. No. He stared at the man he had called father all his life to discover he was in truth Laufey's child. A piercing pain drilled his heart as an invisible knife stabbed it, dug its flesh cruelly and slay it open. The pain, this unbearable pain didn't stop there. No, it travelled all the way down inside Loki's wounded heart till it reached his soul and shattered it into thousands of pieces.

Lies. It all had been lies. Loki's ears were deafened to Odin's weak words. Because those weren't the words of a beloved father, but those of a cruel king. Taking an innocent baby away from its realm, from its people, from its family and keep him locked up like another stolen relic. Loki was nothing but an instrument with the purpose of bringing an alliance and permanent peace between two enemy kingdoms. The instrument to unite Asgard and Jotunheim.

Lies. It all had been lies. Loki's ears were deafened to Odin's old deceits. He insisted he was his son. He told he wanted to protect him from the truth. Lies. Loki now knew what Odin had always seen in him. The monster that parents told their children at night. Loki finally understood why nothing he ever did was right, was good in Odin's eyes. He finally understood why Odin always favored Thor above him. He finally understood no matter how much Odin claimed to love him, he had lied to him all those years. It all made sense now. Odin never truly saw him as his son.

Loki felt his being fall in a whirlpool of destructive emotions. He felt his soul being wrecked and crushed by the fingers of darkness. He watched Odin collapse and sink into a deep sleep. And however it hurt and frightened him to watch his father unwell, the darkness whispered in his ears to embrace this chance. For years Loki had walked unbalanced between good and evil. For years Thor had succeeded in dampening Loki's dark tendencies. But Thor wasn't here today to save him from himself. And so the raven-haired prince allowed himself be seduced by his darkened thoughts. He would make up for all the years he strived for Odin's love. He would take his revenge. He would make the Allfather's greatest fear become true. Loki was going to make sure Odin was having a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard. All he had to do was make sure his brother would stay out of the way.

…

"I will not fight you brother!" Thor yelled.

"I'm not your brother! I never was." Loki replied, an unfamiliar hatred filling his clear eyes. Thor stared at him confused, failing to understand what was going on with his sibling. He still couldn't believe Loki would want to kill him and their friends. He would never have dreamt he would do such a thing. But here he was, his beloved little brother, the prudent prince of Asgard destroying an entire race, demanding Thor to fight him and now he was saying they weren't brothers. Surely Loki was out of his mind. Nothing of this made any sense at all.

"Loki, this is madness." Thor said, trying to put some sense into his now completely deranged brother. But Loki's following words scared the shit out the god of thunder.

"Is it madness? Is it? _Is it_?!" It was like if each syllable spelled out bared an unconceivable amount of loathing, of despise and, indeed madness. Thor read the crude rage in Loki's eyes and couldn't understand the origin of his irrational behavior. But eventually the answer came to him. "What happened in Earth to turn you so _soft_? Don't tell me it was that _woman_?!... Oh! It was!"

Thor stared scared at his clever brother. He had seen through him. The shock at the moment of realization was terribly clear in Loki's voice. Hurt, anger and betrayal. The god of thunder knew he could as well had stabbed a knife in Loki's heart, the effect would had been the same. Because the one thing they never believed was possible to happen, had indeed happened. A woman had come in between them. Thor had fallen in love with Jane Foster. It was not an attraction, it was not an infatuation, it was not a passion. It was a genuine kind of love, so pure, so real, so beautiful that it flourished in the most perfect way during three short days. During some seconds, Thor was lost for words and didn't know how to react. He could not deny it. It had happened so quickly. It had happened in such a short space of time that before he knew it, Jane had already taken a special place in his heart.

Of course Loki had watched them interact high up from his throne. For course he had read all the signs. And now he was furious. Now he was threatening to hurt Jane. Although Thor knew it was because Loki was hurt and angry; when he heard his brother's perfidious words, he felt a sudden rage build up in his chest. He felt an unbelievably desire for protecting the innocent and altruistic Jane. With no words, Thor gave exactly what Loki wanted. A fight. But it wasn't the kind of fight they usually had. It was a mortal combat with the only intent of defeating the other, even if it meant killing him. Or at least, Loki seemed to act that way. Thor didn't recognized this ferocious warrior as Loki gave all he had in speed, agility, strength and magic to bring him down. Yet, Thor would not kill his brother, his best friend, his lover. So he placed Mjölnir on top of the god of mischief, preventing him from moving, while he walked back to the dome, with the intent of stopping the Bifröst from destroying Jotunheim completely.

"You hear me brother? There's nothing you can do!" Loki yelled, as he laid on the colorful bridge.

Loki's words always had quite a peculiar effect in Thor, often leading the older sibling into doing exactly the opposite of what he meant. Just like now. Because Thor, not seeing any other option in stopping the total destruction of Jotunheim, commanded Mjölnir back to his hand and started to hit the bridge's floor. Loki's shouts in convincing him to stop had no effect in the blond warrior. Not even when he told him he would never see _her_ again. Because Thor knew that, despite the inevitable separation, this was what Jane Foster would have wanted. He finally understood his father's teachings about being a ruler. It was putting other's interests before yours, knowing that sometimes you have to sacrifice something or somebody you love in other to protect the other realms and save the many innocent people that live in them. He sensed Loki behind him and knew his brother would try to stop him. But it was too late. The floor was already cracking, and with this final blast, it finally blew apart in a great explosion.

…

There they stood, in the edge of doom. Odin had reached the Bifröst just in time to grasp Thor's foot and stop him from being swallowed by the Universe. Thor, by his turn, had managed to grip the scepter from which Loki was hanging on. Thor and Loki's gazes met for brief moments. Every unspoken word was said in the looks of their eyes. Loki read the fear in the azure orbs, the pain, the sorrow, the forgiveness, the love. So much love. And this love was the only thing that kept him from falling into the slurping vortex underneath him. The only thing that made him want to hold on to that scepter. But while Loki hung unbalanced at the end of the royal scepter, he looked up saw _him_. Odin. His father. The man he always admired. The man that always told him he loved him as his own, and yet never revealed it. The man for who Loki would go to all extremes just to hear one word of approval, one word of pride, one word of recognition. That was the only thing Loki ever wanted. To be loved by Odin just like Thor was.

"I've could have done it, father!" Loki yelled, the winds around him being fierce and powerful. "I could have done it. For you! For all of us!" His words were a desperate plea. Words of a neglected child screaming for the love of his father. He stared at Odin's face with hope. Hope his father would see the valor in him. Hope his father would recognize his limitedness efforts in protecting those he loved. Hope his father would love him for who he was.

"No Loki." Odin's voice was a mere whisper, and yet it travelled fast to Loki's ears. Odin saw arrogance, cruelty and selfishness in Loki's eyes, but Thor saw the emotional stab, he saw the painful wound bleed in his brother's watery eyes. Disappointment. Rejection. One single tear slip down Loki's cheek. Defeat. Thor's heart panged when he realized Loki didn't see the sense of going on anymore.

"Loki no!" Thor urged when he realized Loki had given up. His eyes had a strange glint of compliance. His face was too determined. Too peaceful. And then he stretched his fingers open and released his hold from the scepter. His eyes never left Thor's. They paid him farewell. Loki had accepted death.

"Nooooooo!"

* * *

**A/N**

**You probably already know, but just to make sure, the used quotes are all from the first Thor movie.**

**I hope you are enjoying the story. I believe things are going to become more interesting from here on. I will continue basing myself in the movies storyline but bring my own interpretation to it.**

**Please review :)**


	9. Fallen

_I fell from grace. _

_I fell into a never-ending black hole. _

_I fell eternally into oblivion. _

_._

_I thought I would die, but die, I did not._

_._

_I gasped desperately for inexistent air._

_I grasped the nothingness of void. _

_My body twisted and twirled in a cruel dance, my being was tearing apart. _

_I fell endlessly in the shadows of hollowness. _

_I fell deeper into the pit of emptiness._

_I fell eternally into oblivion._

_._

_I prayed to die, but die, I did not. _

_._

_Instead, I hit the ground. _

_Mercilessly hard and cold floor. _

_It crushed my being to its core, shattered my bones, burned my skin, bled my soul._

_Pain. _

_._

_All my senses betrayed me._

_I became blinded, all I saw was darkness. _

_I became deaf, all I heard was thundering silence. _

_I had fallen eternally into oblivion._

_I could not move. _

_._

_And wondered if this was how death felt. But dead, I knew I was not._

_._

_This was not Heaven neither Hell. _

_This was Purgatory, a place that exists not. _

_I lived a cruel existence. _

_Banished by the living, cursed by the universe, forgotten by everybody, abandoned forever. _

_I wandered in a place that exists not, I lived in oblivion._

_._

_I saw before my eyes flashes of a life I knew was not mine._

_I saw myself, and yet it wasn't me._

_A loved son, a cared brother, a trusty friend. _

_I saw before my eyes flashes of my old life. _

_I recognized the shadow I always was, loathed and rejected. _

_A lost soul._

_._

_I roamed in oblivion, doomed to wander in the ruins of my past,_

_ exhausted and weakened, _

_defeated and abandoned,_

_forgotten by the world. _

_Alone in the cold and darkness._

_._

_I mourned my existence. _

_I mourned what others could never mourn in this ruined world._

_My world. _

_Where I found nothing. _

_A world with no love, no happiness, no hope. _

_Only suffocating black darkness, the hard noise of silence, loneliness. _

_A world of past memories, old lies, broken promises, shattered dreams. _

_Treachery. _

_._

_I wandered lost in the ruins of my past, doomed to dwell in my own Purgatory._

_My mouth tasted fear, despair blurred my vision. _

_It was all too great to bear. _

_My body contorted of pain as my soul bled in its core._

_Pain that was too overwhelming. _

_And when I thought I would finally die, I accepted it all peacefully. _

_._

_But die I did not. _

_._

_I accepted my broken being, my poor fate, my destroyed past, my doomed future. _

_I embraced the darkness and felt free._

_I drunk revenge and rose stronger. _

_I breathed hatred and the pain subsided._

_I roamed eternally in oblivion, tortured by my memories._

_And now my heart is as cold as ice._

_Not even the hottest fire can melt it away. _

_And I am glad for it. _

_Glad I became emotionless, for I became unstoppable._

_._

_Brother_

…

Loki woke up with a strenuous gasp. He took several strained breaths, as his lungs burned at each breath intake. He contorted, curled into a ball and turned to his side with a groan. He had no idea how long he had laid there unconscious. He had no idea how long he had fallen in the void of stardust, between clouds and gas of helium and hydrogen. It hurt. Everything hurt. It was a kind of pain that went beyond the physical level. He closed his eyes and tears escaped them. He still could see Odin staring down at him. He could see the loathing and despise in his single blue eye. Odin never loved him. Odin never cared for him. Loki was nothing more than a stolen relic in the Allfather's eyes. He was all his life fooled by the man he used to call father. The man he had once loved and admired. The man he would have done anything just to receive his approval. But that never would happen. Not while Thor was still around.

Loki struggled to stand up. The slightest move made all his muscles burn and feel like they were about to burst. But the pain made him feel the more alive. His lips drew a maddened smile as a soft bitter laughter escaped them. Thor. It was always all about Thor! That ignorant oaf that somehow managed to conquer everybody's hearts with his warm smile! He even managed to conquer _his_ cold heart! But not anymore. Thor would pay for all the suffering he had to endure all these years. Thor would pay for his ungratefulness, for all the times he watched his back, helped him out and saved him from difficult and even dangerous situations. For all the times Thor received all the glory and the veneration from the world, while it was he, Loki of Asgard, who had saved everybody's asses! And what for? To be shoved into the background, pushed away into the shadows, discarded like a worthless thing? To be stepped over every single time? No. Not anymore.

The god of mischief stood up, his body still trembling from pain. But a new wave of excitement filled his chest. There was a thought in the back of Loki's head that told him he was going mad. But he ignored this thought and instead fuelled his heart with hatred and desire for revenge. Thor would pay for all of this! He, Loki, would have the throne. It was his birthright. He would take what was rightful from him. No matter what the costs were. Suddenly, his train of thoughts froze as Loki sensed a presence behind him. He quickly turned around and faced a hooded ugly looking creature.

"That was quite a fall." The creature spoke. The first thing Loki noticed in him was the row of long dirty sharp teeth. The creature's looks made him feel nauseous. "An ordinary Asgardian would die in mere minutes, resist a few hours perhaps, if he was to be strong. But two days… You are not an ordinary Asgardian, are you Loki Odinson?"

"Who are you? Where am I?" Loki asked exasperated, ignoring the piercing stab in his heart at his title's mention. He needed to understand who this creature was, what he wanted with him. Why he had allowed him to survive while he laid unconscious.

"Who I am or where you are; are not really relevant."

"What do you want?" The creature's ugly mouth drew a wide distasteful grin.

"I serve lord Thanos. He wishes to make an alliance with you."

…

**One year later**

He had failed. Loki had led an army of Chitauri to Midgard, had a magical scepter, the power of the Tesseract and yet he failed. Fate must be laughing hard at his face, because Loki was again imprisoned by this mediocre group of puny humans that liked to call themselves the Avengers. Thor's new friends. How had his well-thought plan failed, he would never understand. He had all the tools in his hands, the right allies and the best motives. But Fate clearly enjoyed mocking him, because he lost. He sat beaten against the glass and stared at the ceiling. This prison cell was the exact replica of the one he had been locked up earlier in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s flying fortress. If Thor's Mjölnir couldn't break this glass he, who was in severe pain and still licking his wounds after Hulk tossed him around like a rag doll, wouldn't even make a scratch in it.

Loki sighed realizing he was alone again. There existed no kind of loyalty between Thanos and him, to start with. Considering he had failed his end of his bargain and, above all, lost an entire army; it was more than clear Thanos had no kind of interest in him anymore. In addition, the inhabitants of at least three realms hated his guts right now and wanted his execution. He could as well face it. He had written down his own death sentence.

"Why did you do it, brother?" Thor's voice interrupted his thoughts and invaded his head. Loki had sensed him entering the space, of course. He simply preferred to deny his presence. "Why wouldn't you just come home?"

"I've told you already. I don't have it." Loki bitterly answered. He took his eyes away from the ceiling to look at his sibling. Thor was holding shackles and a mouth piece Loki knew had to come from Asgard. "Ah, so you've finally come to officially arrest me. Is that thing really necessary? Afraid I might poison your ears with my words?" He spoke with a mocking voice and had an easy smile on his lips, like if nothing of this concerned him. Like if it was all just a game.

Thor stared at his brother the least amused. He questioned himself of how he didn't see it before. How could he miss that look in Loki's gaze in the past? That look of aloofness was nothing but a carefully built cold façade hiding years of repressed suffering. That disdainful tone was nothing but the camouflage for the desperate silent pleas for help that were never answered. Thor realized Loki had been walking in the edge during all these years, balancing dangerously between good and wrong. Darkness had been seducing him for a long time already, something Loki had been frightened of in the past. Loki had warned him about this day. The day he would be completely out of reach. And yet, Thor never really saw it, never listened to his brother's words, never truly understood him. Only now, in this very moment, did he realize what had happened to Loki.

"How could I fail to see you change_?" _Thor asked more to himself. _From the loved and happy child to the excluded brother. From the excluded brother to the insecure boy. From the insecure boy to the envious teenager. From the envious teenager to the bitter man full of rage. Such powerful raw rage. _Thor sorrowfully thought. Loki stared at him surprised for some seconds and then made a scoffing sound. "I still love you brother, though you tell me you hate me."

"I do not need your petty talk! Or your pity. Just get on with it for once and all!" Loki spat furious, but Thor knew it was fear and pain that made him behave like this. He was like a wounded cornered animal, using his last resources to defend himself against the inevitable.

"Please, listen to me Loki. I still care for you, even after you tried to kill me."

"Well, then you are obviously more stupid than I had thought." Loki arrogantly said, crude hatred shining in his eyes, piercing Thor's soul mercilessly.

"Loki, I'll still protect you."

"I need no protection! Not from you, not from anybody!" Loki furiously screamed, hitting the glass in a sudden move. Thor stared shocked at his brother as his face was a reflection of pure rage and loathing. He didn't recognize this broken being, this person who kept pushing him away in the most agonizing manners. "If you think you can patronize me, then you are very wrong Thor! You see, I don't want any help from you! Actually I don't want anything from you! Because this is all _your_ fault!"

"How is this any of my fault?! Who got the Frost Giants into Asgard? Who almost destroyed Jotunheim? Who started a war in Midgard?!" Thor furiously accused, feeling frustrated by his brother's refusal in reasoning. "It was _you _who betrayed the people that love you!"

"Enough!" Loki yelled, his body trembling from the anger that burned his veins. "You are too much of a fool to understand anything! I had to open my own way to glory! I had to go behind of what's rightful to me!"

"Loki, I refuse to believe this is all because of a throne!"

"Oh, but it's so much more than just a throne. It's about who's the better king!" Loki shouted as hatred and despise grew in his chest. "I should be the king because I'm actually the one who knows something about governing, about political and war affairs! I actually think before I talk or act or decide to invade a realm and break old alliances! You see, it takes a little bit more to rule than just hitting the ground with a stupid hammer!"

"I refuse to accept your words as the truth, Loki. I know your lies by now you're just saying those things to hurt me because you are suffering. Why won't you accept my help? You don't need to be alone." Thor insisted his tone still upset but a bit softer, almost pleading. Loki seemed to calm down too, and now stared at Thor with a sad look.

"You don't get it, do you?" Loki whispered, looking sorrowful. "I am alone. I always have been." He then turned his back to Thor. "I regret nothing of what I've done. So just arrest me and get this over with." He coldly whispered.

Thor opened his mouth but closed it right afterwards. Loki was beyond reasoning. He had changed so much that Thor didn't recognize anymore the person with whom he had fallen deeply in love with. He pressed a combination of buttons and the door opened itself. He almost expected Loki to turn around and attack him, but he just stood there still. Thor walked over to Loki. The god of mischief had his head casted down, his eyes closed. The blond Asgardian put the shackles around his brother's fists first and then lifted Loki's chin, so he could put on the mouth piece. They locked their gazes for brief seconds. It was mainly sorrow and regret that filled their eyes for very different reasons and yet for the same ones.

"I wish I had _seen_ you earlier, brother." Thor regretfully told Loki.

Thor grabbed his brother's arm to guide him outside his prison cell and ignored the silent tears that escaped the green eyes.

* * *

**A/N**

**Last year I wrote a short personal poem for myself and kept it private. It was my own way of working out my thoughts and fellings, during a light depression. There was somebody with whom I was really mad at the time and it served as the basis for Loki's thoughs during his fall into the Void. **

**So, I would love if you shared some of your thoughts about this story/chapter. **

**I know you are reading (I received the alerts), so, please, don't be shy :)**


	10. Game of Lies

**Chapter 10: Game of Lies**

Loki sat on the floor at the corner of his cell in de dungeons, the prison with the highest security in Asgard, created with the sole purpose of making sure that those who were locked up in it could never ever come out. The god of mischief ignored the food that was magically brought into his cell. Moments like this were the only ones that allowed him to track down time and have an idea of what part of the day it was, since the bright artificial lights never went off. Loki looked tiredly at the plate. The food looked delicious, but he had no hunger or appetite. He had thus, no intention in eating the meal, just like he hadn't eaten the previous two. He was certain Frigga was behind this, the good food, the furniture, the books. He was sure his mother was doing everything in her power to make him feel comfortably. But right now, comfort did not interest him. Just like nothing else interested him.

Loki felt exhausted and yet he could not sleep. His mind was restless while his body was numb. The same thoughts kept spinning in his head, around and around, over and over again, like a tortuous whirlpool of haunting memories and untamable fears. It sucked all his energy up, it drained away all his vitality until he was too tired for anything. His fasting was of course contributing for the weakening of his body and spirit. Loki felt like he was slowly dying. But right now, he didn't really care.

_I wish I had seen you earlier, brother. _

These were the last words Thor had directed to him and they had punched right into his soul. Words that told Loki his older sibling had given up on him. The raven-haired prince had always feared for this. Deep down, he always had known this day would come. The day that Thor would understand the lost call his younger brother truly was. The day he would turn his back and finally leave him. Loki always had known this would happen sooner or later. Still, he had not been prepared for this.

The short journey from the Bifröst to the Allfather's throne room had been awkwardly silent. And once Loki was brought to the custody of Odin's soldiers, Thor left him without even looking at him one last time. This recollection was enough to make Loki's eyes prick. The raven-haired prince was sure a mean wound had been opened in his heart at that moment and it wouldn't stop bleeding, because the pain simply wouldn't go away. Loki was clearly broken-hearted. It was already bad enough to feel rejected, abandoned and loathed by everything and everybody. But by Thor, it caused such raw pain, that it felt like he was falling down the abyss of void all over again.

Loki was alone. A gasp and a sob escaped his lips as he couldn't hold back the pain any longer. This loneliness that has haunted him all his life had never felt this strong, this confronting, this tangible as it did right now. It scared him to no limit. It made him feel desperate, hopeless and terrified. He felt like a little child trapped in the dark, afraid of invisible monsters luring around him. Only, he was trapped in the most illuminated place he could be in and the monster was himself. The monster he always feared the most.

…

**One year later**

"No more illusions."

Thor told Loki with a commanding tone, while he gazed at him with an unfamiliar upset look. The god of mischief, too tired of playing games, decided to do what his brother desired.

"Now you _see _me, brother." Loki softly said and the blond Asgardian did not miss the double meaning in his words.

Thor did his best to keep his cold façade, to keep his perfectly cool posture and hide all the turbulent emotions that tormented him right now; because what was presented before his eyes was disturbing him greatly. Loki never looked his awful before. His always neatly combed hair was disheveled, his always perfectly composed clothing looked old and poor. He was barefooted and there was blood on one of his feet. Thor's younger brother looked defeated, exhausted and old. Thor slowly walked around the cell so he stood closer. The god of thunder had to restrain himself from surrendering to compassion. He had to remind himself this wasn't the person with whom he had fallen deeply in love with, the person he had shared so many marvelous and happy moments together, the person he once most trusted in this world. Thor had to remind himself that this man was a dangerous sociopath who would stab him in the back the first chance he would have.

Yet, he did _see _him. It was seldom the moment that Loki threw his defenses down and exposed his vulnerability this openly. Thor could count in one single hand the moments he had witnessed such a rare event. He knew he was the only privileged, or perhaps the unfortunate one, to do so.

"Did she suffer?" Loki asked, concern and fear all present in his eyes.

Frigga had died and guilt was already consuming the prince's soul. Guilt for speaking her the false words he spoke, his last words directed to her. Words of cruel denial. Guilt for sending that monster to the royal chambers. It was his most idiotic move ever. He could as well had killed Frigga with his own bare hands.

Thor did not know if the question was genuine or if this was Loki's way to try and win his compassion in order to manipulate him later on. Maybe it was a bit of both. The god of thunder knew his brother too well. He knew whatever feelings haunted his heart right now, rage and thirst for revenge were the most powerful in him. And right now, he needed Loki to redirect his rage to the dark elves. So Thor gave Loki the coldest answer he could give. With a short sentence, Thor eliminated any space to emotional manipulation, so he was the one in command and not the other way around.

_I did not come here to share our grief_.

It had hurt him to speak out such distant words, because he saw for one second the pain, the sorrow and the helplessness flash in Loki's green eyes. He had to break eye contact, because he could feel himself falter. When he looked back, the coldness and astuteness had already returned to his brother's gaze. Loki had already built back up the façade he always presented to the world. The façade of cold indifference, of mocking pride and overconfidence. The older sibling did not let any of his emotions transpire, because he could see Loki was now observing him closely, studying him to the smallest detail. The god of mischief was clever and he knew Thor better than anybody else. The blond warrior knew the slightest mishap - a word too much, an unconscious gesture, a slight nuance in his voice - would be enough to betray himself.

"When do we start?"

Loki asked after short strenuous silent seconds in which shrewd green eyes pierced the blue ones. Thor's heart had panged when Loki's lips had drawn a small smile and a soft "hum" had escaped his throat before he had spoken out those words. The god of thunder realized he had overdone his well-though discourse the moment he had threatened his brother. He realized, despite his efforts, Loki had seen right through him the moment he said he would kill him. Because Loki knew Thor would be incapable of killing him. He knew there was a part of Thor that still had faith in him. That still loved him and wanted to trust him again. And that fact alone put Loki in the advantage. The blond Agardian swallowed dry. Now they were both playing the same game of lies.

…

"This mortal must be very significant to make you go against all Odin's rules and commands." Loki talked in a mocking tone, while he dressed his official garments. "What's so special about her I wonder… She must be quite something in bed."

"Jane and I never had sex." Thor said annoyed and bit his tongue for giving another answer he shouldn't had given. It all had played out much better and easier in his head.

"What?! You are risking everything you have because of a platonic crush?!" Loki asked actually looking shocked.

"Sex is not everything!" Thor rashly said, while he raised his voice. His infuriated eyes met Loki's shaken and hurt gaze for some seconds. He then broke eye contact and turned his back to his brother.

"I know." Loki whispered and Thor would swear he heard regret his voice. "The Aether is a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands." The god of mischief stated in a matter of fact tone. Thor turned around to face him, a bit surprised his brother had chosen to change the subject this quickly. He noticed he was fully dressed, his hair neatly combed back, looking exactly like it always did. "So, ready to stop Malekith?"

…

Loki had been impressed with Thor's plan in getting them out of Asgard. He had tricked everybody into believing they were escaping with a large ship. Hell, even he, the god of mischief had been tricked.

Loki had also been impressed with Thor's loyalty to Jane. His devotion to this human, this insignificant, but to his brother important mortal, was unprecedented. Loki was sick of jealousy, but above all, he was curious about this Jane Foster. Most of the time he saw her, she was unconscious, but he had felt, literally, how passionate and spirited this small woman was when she had slapped him. In the end, Loki concluded she was especial. She could only be, since Thor sought in her the comfort and happiness his brother could not offer anymore. Unlike him, Jane Foster was good hearted, innocent and altruistic. She was also persistent, determinate and strong, which were the ideal assets for dealing with a person like Thor.

Strangely Loki slowly accepted the fact Thor had found a new love in his life. After all, he had ruined everything that existed between him and Thor. Their relationship had been wrong and forbidden from the start. It had been doomed from day one. Deep down, Loki had always waited in fear for the day they would finally break up. But that didn't mean he wanted to see his brother unhappy, very much on the contrary. He realized that if Jane was the person to make his brother happy, then so be it. He was okay with that.

However, the nature of this relationship did worry him greatly. Loki grimaced as he found it ironic that Thor should end up intertwined again in an impossible relationship. An Asgardian and a Human. The first was to live about five thousand years, the latter would be lucky to even reach one hundred. Thor was going to be confronted with the harshest of all realities. That the Human life was fleeting and oh-so very short. A mere heartbeat. Thor would never be prepared to watch her age so quickly, to lose her so soon. Thor would never be prepared for the pain he would have to carry afterwards. Loki tried to warn his brother about the Human's fleeting existence, but Thor wouldn't listen to him. Ultimately, Loki wondered, when had Thor ever listened to him, anyway?

Finally, Loki had been impressed with Thor's brilliant but absolutely mad plan. It was so full of risks, everything in it could go wrong, and yet, everything did go well. But Loki, the Weaver of Lies, used the risks involved for his own benefit for he too had a plan. A secret plan. One that presented itself as the proof, the confirmation that he was truly a monster. The monster he had learned to accept he was, not so long ago. What Loki had planned went beyond the concept of immorality. It was so obnoxious that even he was surprised he was able to carry it out.

Loki had been impressed with himself and how cruel and calculating he could be. To forge his own death, to be able to pretend he was dying in his brother's arms while Thor tried desperately to comfort him during his final minutes of life. To be able to lay still while Thor cried and released one horrible scream of agony. To deceive and make his brother mourn him all over again. Loki bitterly thought he truly did not deserve Thor's or anybody else's love. It was impossible to go lower than this, but at least Thor would keep a positive memory of him. Thor would remember Loki as the person who sacrificed himself for those he loved. Because in fact, that was exactly what he was doing.

"I'm sorry Thor." Loki whispered as he stood up after he magically broke the sand storm in Svartalfheim, the tempest he had created to make sure his brother and Jane would need to leave his dead body behind.

Loki had planned this carefully out. His brother had Jane now. Even if her short lifespan was only a heartbeat, Loki knew she would make his brother happier in a few decades than he could ever make in long millenia. If she had in mere three days succeeded in changing Thor from an immature and violent warrior to a calmer and wiser prince, imagine how she could impact him in fifty years? Loki had decided to give Thor one heartbeat of love and happiness before the burden of the throne would be fallen to him. Because, after Jane´s death, Thor would finally be ready to rule. Until then, Loki would rule as regent. He had to find a way to persuade the Allfather to step down the throne and give him the power. Odin needed to understand this was a mere temporary action, to lighten up his burden and prepare Asgard for the new king. But before that, he had an unfinished matter to treat with Odin. It was finally time to reveal what Odin truly thought about Loki.

…

"I've returned from the Dark World with news." Loki spoke under the guise of a soldier. Odin stood opposite the throne looking old and tired, increasing the prince's certainty it was time for him to hand over the power to somebody younger and more spirited.

"Thor?" Of course Odin would ask for Thor. His precious perfect son. How it must be biting him to know that his loyal son had committed high treason against him. He pretended he had not found the blond warrior, quickly turning the old king's attention to where he wanted.

"We found a body." Loki casted his eyes down as a strange feeling of triumph and anticipation filled his chest. There was a pause, the short amount of time that Odin needed to figure out whose body it was.

"Loki."

The prince in the guise of a soldier lifted his eyes to look at Odin. This was the moment of truth. It would be revealed to him now, what the king truly thought and felt about his adopted son. So he pretended to leave the room, casting an illusion of the soldier walking away, while he remained in the room invisible to the Allfather. At first, Odin had no kind of reaction. He simply stood unmoving in front of the throne for a while, like if he was frozen in time. He was clearly lost in thoughts, processing the news that had been just given to him. Loki stared a bit curious and heard his name being whispered. Then Odin's hand travelled to his temple, his trembling fingers rubbing it. He covered his mouth for a few seconds and then let his hand fall to his side. Loki realized Odin was breathing heavily and was having difficulties in remaining on his feet. The god of mischief broke the illusion the moment he saw Odin fall over to his side, while the sound of deep breathing filled the room.

"Father!" Loki yelled without realizing it. "Father, please no. Not again!"

He made a short run and bended over to look at the Allfather. It was as he had feared. Odin had fallen into the Odinsleep. Loki's hand hesitantly met his father's and he sighed regretfully. From all the scenarios he had played off in his head, this one had never happened. With a trembling hand, Loki caressed his father's hair. Frigga's death, Thor's betrayal and now the news of his youngest son's death had been too much for him to deal with. Loki cursed his brilliant plan, because he just discovered his father truly loved him. And he was probably going to lose him before he ever had the change to beg for forgiveness.

* * *

**Reviews are welcome ;)**


	11. Deceived

Thor and Jane were at a restaurant having dinner. Today it was a special day. It was a day to celebrate, for exactly two years ago, the god of thunder had given up his birthright to be king and had chosen to live with Jane. It had been a long time since he had felt this happy before. It was a happiness very similar and very close to the one he had once shared with his brother, a very long time ago. Loki. The mere thought of his name still bruised his heart. Because it was stubborn and somehow refused to accept his brother was gone. Thor had tried to seek comfort in the thought the god of mischief had died with honor, but in vain. The only thing that gave him comfort, that eased his weary heart, was the beautiful woman sitting opposite him, reading out loud the menu cart and commenting how this sounds good and how that should be tasty.

"What?" Jane asked when she lifted her eyes to face her lover. He was staring at her with an adorable expression, a smile that radiated so much happiness, it could brighten up the darkest of all places.

"I love you, Jane Foster." Thor's grin grew wider as the woman grew shy and blushed graciously, while she placed a strand of hair behind her ear. She let out a soft sigh of blissfulness and then gently, rested her small hand on his large one.

"And I love you, Thor." She honestly said, her eyes sparkling like a thousand stars. "So, what do you think, should we order the chicken or the seabass? I think I'm going to order the seabaas."

"Seabass sounds good." Thor lifted his head to make an order when he sensed somebody by the table and was surprised to see it was Darcey.

"What are you doing here?" Jane asked half in shock and having quite an unpleasant _dejá vu_, especially when Darcy happily smiled and pushed a chair next to them, causing an amused chuckle by Thor.

"You know that scientific equipment you don't look anymore?" Darcy started while she shoved her hand in her pocket.

"Oh, let me guess. I might want to look at it." Jane said with a forced smile. Darcy widened her eyes, clearly impressed.

"Wow! You're reading minds now? Anyway, it's been reading signings like those that appeared when Thor was about to show up." Darcey had just spoken these words out while she presented a small machine with graphic data, when a sudden flash brightened the sky outside. Both women startled (like many other people in the restaurant) as the loud thunder immediately followed it and it started raining intensively.

"Please, excuse me." Thor stood up and headed outside.

Darcey and Jane, after briefly switching glances, quickly stood up and ran after the god of thunder. As soon as Thor stepped outside, he stretched his arm, opened his hand and in no time Mjölnir travelled to it. The women arrived just in time to see a soldier, completely dressed in golden, pace to Thor. He bowed on one knee.

"My highness. I bring troubling news." The soldier spoke and then he stood up, his expression being a worried one. "Asgard is under attack. We are being invaded by the fire elves, under the command of Lord Surtur. The Allfather requests your assistance urgently. We don't know how long we can hold our lines of defense." There was no time to think. Thor quickly turned around to face Jane and was about to apologize for leaving their celebration date, when she spoke first.

"I'm coming with you!" She said in a tone that left no discussion. Jane was decided not to let him go and leave her behind wondering in uncertainty if he would ever return.

"I'm coming too!" Darcey happily chirped, already flashing her eyelashes to the soldier who smiled proudly at her.

"It's too dangerous! For both of you!" Thor protested.

"I'm not staying behind! I'm sure there's a place I can stay until the battle cools off." Jane argued.

"A place we _both_ can stay!" Darcey added, while she bounced from side to side." Thor seeing there was no way of convincing these two stubborn women and had no time for this kind of argumentation, decided to consent.

"Okay. You'll stay at the dome with Heimdall. I don't think my father will be pleased to see two Midgardians in his palace." Thor said while he wrapped his arm around Jane. Darcey took the initiative to grab herself on the soldier and before they knew it, they were traveling between stars, planets and galaxies.

"Woohoooo, yeah! Who wants another ride?" Darcey cheered when they stepped in the golden dome.

"Welcome back, Thor. I wish I was seeing you in more pleasant circumstances."

"The same with me, Heimdall. Where's my father?"

"He's heading to the relics' chambers. It seems Surtur is behind the Tesserak."

"That's where I'll be, then. Please, watch over Jane and Darcey for me." Thor asked before he commanded his hammer and flew off in the direction of Asgard's Palace with great speed. The soldier announced he would return to his post and Darcey waved at him before he left, receiving a gleaming smile in return.

…

Thor was worried. He saw fire and smoke rising everywhere. The fire elves had somehow invaded Asgard and were tearing it apart with their fire powers and great violence. While he flew, he had a short glimpse on his friends. Sif and the Warriors Three were battling ferociously, but were clearly having a hard time. He wished he could help them, but for now, he had to trust their skills were enough to allow them to survive this battle. His priority right now was to make sure the Tesserak wouldn't be stolen and protect his father from death. It was true that Odin was a strong and valiant warrior, but the years had taken the toll on him and Thor feared he would not be a threat to the fire elves for too long.

The reason he was surprised when he entered the relic's chamber. He saw many fire elves lying dead spread on the floor, staining it with their blood. There were still about twenty fire elves in the division and they were attacking the Allfather one after the other. Thor was surprised to see that the old king was battling them with an energy and agility that didn't fit a man of his advanced age. The god of thunder started walking in a hurriedly pace in Odin's direction. Two fire elves came running to him, screaming and breathing fire, but after a few hits, he knocked them out with the Mjölnir. His eyes shrunk a bit as he observed the Allfather's movements more closely. Thor never had seen Odin combat in this manner. Actually, there was only one person he knew that moved that fast and agile, like if he was in a dance. His disturbing suspicions were confirmed when a fire elf struck the king with a powerful fire blast, making him fly through the air and hit hard against a column. He was unconscious for brief moments and the god of thunder saw a golden dust cover the unmoving body, until a whole different person was revealed.

"Loki." Thor whispered in a hoarse choked voice and felt an unfamiliar fire grow in his own chest.

A piercing pain installed in his heart while a wave of disturbing emotions swept in his mind. Silent words echoed in his ears, all of them speaking words of betrayal and treachery while his mind's eye pictured his dead brother's face. He had died in his arms. He had died with honor, he had died avenging their mother. But if Loki had truly died, how could he be here, alive, breathing and struggling this moment to sit up? The unfamiliar rage grew untamed in his chest like a roaring of a wild animal. Thor was angry, he was mad, he was infuriated. He paced so fast and so determined in his brother's direction, that he was blinded to even notice he was hitting aggressive fire elves who had the misfortune of standing in the way between him and Loki. Without thinking, the god of thunder grabbed Loki's arm, forcing him to face him. The god of mischief produced a chocked groan. Thor was so mindlessly furious, he didn't even notice his brother was covered in cuts, blood and his right hand was resting on his ribcage. Loki lifted his eyes and fear filled them as he read the crude anger in the azure orbs.

"How dare you make me think you died twice?!" Thor yelled, his voice tainted of hurtful fury. Loki gasped horrified by his sibling's murderous look, but there was something else that right now terrified him even more than his furious brother.

"The Tesserak! Don't let them take the Tesserak!" Loki urgently gasped.

The word _Tesserak _had the impossible power of erasing the burning fury that resided in Thor's soul. The god of thunder stared wide-eyed at this treacherous brother as he was reminded of the reason he had come here the first place. He quickly turned around to confirm Loki's warning. He saw there were already a few fire elves escaping with the cube. He dropped and left his brother to be and, while he made a hasty run, he skillfully threw his hammer knocking one of them down. Thor battled the last fires elves, who fought back bravely and cruelly, but in the end were no match for him. Once he defeated all of his enemies, he took the powerful cube in his hands and sighed of relieve. At least the Tesserak was safe for now. A shuffling sound followed by a painful groan at the end of the hall reminded him of another important matter. He glanced over Loki and quickly made his way back to him.

"What happened to father?" Thor asked while he grabbed Loki by his collar and shook him, angry tears threatening to spill from his sapphire eyes, fearing his brother had killed Odin. "What did you do to him?!" The words that just been spilled, when the god of thunder heard his name being called behind him. The voices were blissful and he turned around to see Sif and the Warriors Three. He was so disturbed that he didn't even manage to smile at his friends.

"Is that…Loki?" Sif asked, looking as shocked and confused as the other three. "How…? Thor ignored her question and turned back to Loki.

"Answer me!"

"He's alive!" Loki yelled, Thor's shaking worsening the pain in his body. "He fell in the Odinsleep!"

"You are unbelievable." Thor muttered with despise while he released him. He turned around to face his friends. "Sif, Volgstagg, make sure the Tesserak stays in a safe place. Hogun, Fandral, take this traitor to the dungeons."

"Shouldn't we take him to the infirmary first?" Fandral asked concerned, noticing the bad shape Loki was in. Despite of all the wrongs the prince had done in the past and how confused he felt right now for seeing him alive; Fandral still considered the god of mischief his friend and was concerned with his well-being, as well as with Thor's present state of mind.

"I said take him to the dungeons!" Thor yelled, startling his friends. All four of them immediately obeyed him, knowing it was best not to go against him when he was this mad. Hogun and Fandral both lifted up Loki carefully, the prince failing in suppressing a painful groan. They allowed him to rest his arms on their shoulders so he could support his body weight in theirs, and made their journey to the Asgard's most secured prison.

…

The next day, Loki was brought to the throne room to be judged by the new ruler of Asgard, Thor. The god of mischief entered the ample hall, walking between two soldiers, followed by another eight that escorted him, their footsteps and the crinkling sound of metal chains filling the walls. There could not exist a greatest contrast between the prisoner and the guards. While the soldiers looked impressive and sturdy in their golden uniform, Loki had never looked this bad before. He, who always presented himself in a confident and defying manner during challenging moments such as this one, today showed nothing but pure defeat.

Loki didn't walk in typical self-assured manner, with his back straight and chin slightly lifted. Instead, he walked with difficulty, the wounds from the previous day obviously still hurting him, since he limped slightly from his left foot. His shoulders were dropped, his head a bit bend, so some strands of his curly uncombed hair hung in front of his face. Loki, who always carried a mocking and overconfident smile in his lips, bore no expression besides the one of tiredness. He looked like he hadn't slept for several nights (and maybe that was the case), his pale face being even whiter than usual with dark bangs under his eyes. His gaze was casted down, avoiding the eyes of those who watched him. Loki was still wearing the same clothing from the previous day, and it was smashed, ripped and stained with blood from both himself and the fire elves.

Few were present in the throne room. Thor, of course, who watched his younger brother with uncharacteristic angry cold eyes. Jane, who looked at the god of mischief with great compassion, shocked he hadn't even been allowed to clean himself up. Darcey, who watched the dark-haired prince with curious eyes, having heard many tales about him never having a face to match them until now. The Warriors Three and Sif, who hadn't forgiven the younger prince's treacheries; stared at Loki shocked and disturbed. Despite everything that had happened in the past, the female soldier couldn't help but find it a shame the once proud prince looked this beaten. The guards halted and Loki, being familiar with the procedure, took silently two steps forward and awaited for Thor to speak up. There was a moment of a short but heavy silence.

"Loki…Laufeyson." Thor uttered after a short hesitation. All heads and eyes discretely turned to Thor, with the exception of Darcey who had no idea what the title meant; shocked Thor had chosen to refer Loki as the son of the enemy and not as his brother. Sif swallowed dry, sensing this trial would go badly, while Fandral and Volgstagg fidgeted nervously. "You were brought here today to be judged for your crimes and to answer some important questions." Thor paused and his eyes settled themselves in the figure of Loki, who refused to look up and face him. He grimaced. "Do you know why Surtur attacked Asgard and why his men were after the Tesserak?"

"I do not." Loki spoke low but clear. "I might have an idea, thought."

"Speak up."

"I fear Surtur might be after the six Infinite Stones. I've got information that he recently succeeded in finding the Eternal Flame."

"Who gave you this information?"

"Spies. Old allies."

"And why do you think he wants to gather the six Infinity Stones?" Thor watched a bit surprised as Loki released a soft maddened laughter, which he himself cut abruptly and lifted his eyes for the first time. The look in his face was one of pure unbelief.

"The Ragnarok, Thor. He wants to bring the destruction of the Universe and build up a new worldly order from the ruins of the old one! That's what happens if one should gather all six Infinity Stones!" Loki raised his voice slightly, his tone clearly accusing Thor for being ignorant about such a matter.

"Learn your place, brother! Don't you dare speak to me like _that_." Thor angrily said and Loki gave him a painful smile and silenced himself immediately, casting his eyes back to the floor. "Have you any other things to enlighten us on the matter."

"No. You can find everything about the Ragnarok in the Book of Prophecies."

"Very well, then. We'll now proceed with your trial." Thor announced uncomfortably and, if the atmosphere was already heavy, it became even heavier. "You will carry on your sentence of spending the rest of your life in the dungeons for the past crimes you committed, adding to your list the impersonation of Odin during two years."

"Why don't you just kill me? I surely committed enough atrocities to be executed." Loki bitterly asked, his eyes never leaving the floor.

"Death would be a too kind sentence for you." Thor gravely said and Loki shook his head sorrowfully. The new king of Asgard stood up. "Sif, you know what to do." The female soldier and the Warriors Three quickly left the division, ready to perform their mission. "I wish to be alone with the prisoner." He announced, looking directly at Jane and Darcey.

The women left, Jane feeling apprehensive with the whole situation. Darcey emitted a frustrated groan and suggested her friend to eavesdrop, but was refused. The king looked also at the guards and, after short seconds of hesitation, the soldiers left the throne room. Loki remained planted where he stood and listened to Thor's heavy steps as he descended the stairs.

"How did father fell into the Odinsleep in the first place?" Thor asked. After he had sent Loki to the dungeons the day before, he quickly had searched for his father and had found him, with relieve, sleeping his deep sleep in his private chamber.

"After you and Jane left, I returned to Asgard disguised as a guard and told him about my death." Loki whispered, sensing Thor was close to him. The god of mischief could sense his legs weaken from fear, because he never had seen his brother this angry before. His voice had never sounded this hostile before. As for Thor, he slowly paced around him, his gaze watchful and cautious, afraid Loki would try to attack him at any moment.

"Why?"

"During my trial he said my birthright was to die. So I wanted…I needed to see his reaction, of how he bore the news of my death. Believe me, Thor. I did not expect him to fall into the Odinsleep."

"What did you expect then? That he would be jubilant? Indifferent perhaps? You always thought ill about father! You always believed he disowned you. Did it ever occur to you it could be the other way around?" Thor spoke in an increasing louder and angrier tone. "Of course he fell into the Odinsleep!" Thor yelled, his thunderous voice filling the ample wall, making Loki actually flinch. He shut his eyes tight and bit his under lip as Thor continued scolding him. "He had just lost his wife and then he gets to hear his son is dead! What were you thinking?! You fool, I've told you like a thousand times he loves you but you never believed me!"

"Well, he didn't really act like a loving father to me, did he? _You_ were always his favorite. There was never _anything_ I could do that was right to him! I was invisible to him! No! I was like that unwanted something you just want to shove away and hide it in the dark! And then I discover he's not my father! What did you expect me to believe then?! All my childhood interrogations were answered the moment my real parentage was revealed!" Loki shouted back, his eyes shining from the emotions.

"You fool! Odin spared your life after your crimes in Midgard, didn't he?"

"He only spared me because of Frigga! You would have known it if you would have stayed to watch my trial!"

"Well, Frigga is not here to save you this time, is she?!" Thor angrily shouted, his eyes fixing in Loki's, filled with bitter anger. The raven-haired prince silenced immediately as he felt pain sweep over his soul, his heart and his body. "Why did you lie to me? Why did you make me believe you were dead? Make me mourn you a second time! Do you know how horrible that is? Why?!"

"I-I though you should stay with Jane." Loki whispered in a gasp, his lips starting to tremble from the agony that consumed his soul. "She makes you happy." His last words were so low, they were almost impossible to hear. Yet Thor heard them. He looked into the watering green eyes in shock. For moments he thought he saw sincerity in them. But he knew Loki's lies by now. So he broke eye contact and took a step backward.

"No! You wanted me away, so you could have the throne."

"I gave you what father would never give you!"

"Enough! You would never do anything this altruistic! You would never allow me to be happy! You had this all planned out so I would be away and you could take Odin's place! You are a horrible, mean….despicable person!" Thor stammered, anger and pain filling his heart and his head. He wanted to believe in Loki's lies. Because the lies offered a smoother reality than the truth. Because his lies told him his brother still loved and cared for him. But he had fallen too many times in Loki's deceits to know his lies were unbearably cruel when the truth came out clean. They hurt beyond pain. And so he forced himself not to believe in them. To protect himself from Loki's most dangerous weapon. Words.

"It's the truth!" Loki said in a desperate regretful tone.

"Liar! You are full of lies! You always were!" Thor turned around while his brushed his hair in agitation, while he suppressed tears of agony. Loki's eyes were as watery as Thor's, his whole body trembling from the emotions, desperate because his brother wouldn't believe him. He had lied, deceived and hurt Thor so many times, it was no wonder the god of thunder couldn't believe him anymore.

"I'm sorry, brother." Loki said in a shaky voice.

"You are not my brother." Thor said without facing him. He heard the heartbroken gasp that escaped his brother's throat and decided he couldn't handle this anymore. "Guards!" The ten soldiers immediatly returned. "Take the prisoner back to his cell."

One of the soldiers rested his hands on Loki's shoulders and the god of mischief offered no resistance in being escorted back to the dungeons. He left, his face blank and deprived of any emotion. He suppressed the urge of crying, fighting back the tears until he was alone in his cell where he could cast an illusion spell, so nobody could hear his screams and cries, so nobody could see the deplorable state he found himself in. Thor too fought back his tears, this confrontation with his brother stinging his heart mercilessly. He almost had given into Loki's lies and there was a moment he swore his brother was telling the truth. But he had been deceived and hurt too many times to fall back in his brother's perfidious lies. He knew the moment he would trust Loki, he would betray him right away. The reason he decided he would never visit his brother in his cell. He had more important matters to think about anyway. He had to find out more about this Ragnarok thing, the Infinity Stones and a way of defeating Surtur. He was king now and he could not let his mind be distracted by the worries of his heart. So Thor took a deep breath and decided to visit to the Library. He needed to find the Book of Prophecies.

Little did the god of thunder know, that Jane had eavesdropped the last part of their quarrel. It had not been her intention initially, but she had heard loud voices and feared for the worst. Jane had witnessed the clash between the two brothers. Jane saw how badly Thor was hurt. So hurt he refused to listen, to believe in his brother's words. And for some reason, Jane had the feeling, this time, Loki was telling the truth.


	12. Ragnarok

Loki laid curled in the middle of his empty cell. That was pretty much what he did nowadays. He just laid there and allowed his being to be consumed by time. At least the sudden urges to cry hopelessly had stopped. Now that his tears had dried out, he had become numb from the continuing pain and lived a life of pure passivity.

This time there was no furniture and no books. The food that kept being sent was quite decent, thought. Food that Loki barely touched. He wanted to die. He laid in the middle of his cell waiting for death to claim him. To take him away from this world, from this slow silent torture.

Loki was tired of living a life filled with lies and deceits. Being lied all his life about _what_ he was. Him lying all his life about _who_ he was. The last two years had been particularly exhausting. Pretending to be Odin during 730 long days had been much more difficult than he had anticipated. Because he had expected Odin to have awaken or died by the meantime. Alas, the Allfather did not wake up, but he didn't perish either. It was like if the old king had chosen to remain in this condition, so Loki could not abandon the new burden that had fallen to him. The one thing Loki had ardently desired for so long had become the heaviest load he'd ever carried his entire life. Crucial decisions, administration, sentences, festivities, keeping the peace in the nine realms, keeping a vigilant eye on the enemies; those were all very demanding tasks.

Loki had been surprised of how relieved he felt when his cover was blown. It had meant the end of days filled with permanent anxiety. Because Loki had lived the last two years in the constant fear he would be discovered. Just like he feared Asgard would become more vulnerable under the rule of a fake Odin. He smiled at the irony that both his fears happened in the same day. And once his fears took place, he realized the consequences were not as dreadful as he had expected. Because there was something much worse than being discovered, judged and hated for his crimes.

Regret.

Loki had learned that regret was the most horrible feeling that could possibly exist. The most horrible thing that could ever happen in somebody's life. Loki's heart was so filled with regret. Every now and then Frigga's voice would echo in his mind. _Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself. _Her last words haunted him down, just like the knowledge that his last words to her were those of denial. How he regretted the second he foolishly told that monster to take the stairs to the left. His mother died because of him. The only person who truly knew him, who saw right through him, the only person who never judged him, who loved him unconditionally and still saw good in him even after the horrendous things he did. Frigga was truly his mother. And he betrayed her.

Regret.

How Loki regretted to pretend to die a second time. Deceiving his father and deceiving his brother. Odin seemed to want to sleep into eternity just for that. As for Thor, there was so much hurt in his eyes. Loki had broken his brother's heart and his own at the same time. Thor had given him so many chances, and he Loki, had been so stupid to idly throw them all away. Now that he needed Thor the most, now that he truly regretted the things he'd done; now that he wanted so badly to redeem; his brother was incapable of giving him this one last chance. The only one he ever needed. Loki always thought it was unbelievable that Thor kept forgiving him every time. How his love never seemed to end. And Loki knew Thor still loved him. He had seen it under the guise of anger and of hurt. He had spared his life, despite all. Yes, Thor still loved him, but he was too hurt to allow himself to take another blow, because it would probably destroy him. Loki laid numb in the middle of the cell, his eyes dry, but his heart bleeding.

Regret.

It was all his own fault and he accepted the reality as it was. Loki had truly lost everything.

…

Something was different. There was something off in the air. He could not see, or feel or smell anything out of the ordinary, but all his senses told him something was very wrong in the universe. Loki sat up and looked around with nervous eyes. Everything was calm around him, but he could sense the threat, the danger. It was too calm. And then there was a flash of a bright light, followed by a great explosion. Loki was projected against the wall behind him, hitting it with force, but he stood up quickly again.

He could not believe his eyes. In just one second, the prison had become a perfect world of chaos. Some cells had been annihilated, other's had fires starting inside of them, burning the flesh of the trapped screaming inmates. Some cells had their walls broken down so prisoners fled, attacking ferociously the soldiers that tried to stop them, blood and entrails dirtying the floor. Loki's cell was intact and the god of mischief cursed his luck. He came closer to the glass and looked up. There was a hole on the ceiling. The mighty blast had destroyed the many strong stores that were built above the dungeons, because Loki could see the sky. And what he saw was the most terrifying nightmarish image he'd ever seen.

Thick clouds filled the sky in the most unnatural whirling movements. Some clouds were as dark as the night, others had a strange red glow. Strong winds seemed to sweep the world as he saw soldiers and fire elves flying high above, in circles, in the middle of debris. A terrifying thundering sound filled the air, making the ground shake for moments. And then there was a flashing of a bright red light, which was followed by a rain of fire and blood.

"Ragnarok." Loki bitterly whispered in realization. It was happening. The universe was going to be destroyed. Thor had failed in stopping Surtur from gathering the six Infinity Stones, which meant Surtur was stronger than ever, he was unstoppable. "Let me out!" Loki yelled desperate. He needed to escape, he needed to help Thor, he somehow had to stop this destruction. He needed to do something. Loki accidentally burned his hands when he hit the glass, during his desperate pleas to get some help.

"I can assure you that hitting that electromagnetic shield will do you no good." Loki turned his head to see the source of the familiar voice and was both shocked and confused by the sight before his eyes.

"Doctor Erik Selvig?" Loki said unable to hide his unbelief. The man reached the edge of Loki's cell, accompanied by Jane and Darcey, all three of them carrying all sorts of strange devices. "W-What are you doing here?"

"Surtur collected all six Infinity Stones." Jane quickly explained, while she and her friends connected wires to Loki's cell's glass. "He got the Aether from the Collector, stole the Tesserak from Thor, stole the Mind Spear from S.H.I.E.L.D., somehow found the Soulgorun I don't know where or how, and now he joined them to the Eternal Flame. Thor tried to stop him, but Surtur is too strong. And now the density of dark energy is increasing beyond proportion with time, causing the sudden speed of acceleration in the Hubble constant. All material objects in the universe - galaxies, stars, planets - everything will disintegrate into unbound elementary particles and radiation, ripped apart by the phantom energy force!"

"What?!" Loki asked, completely confused by the second part of the woman's explanation.

"It means those stones opened one gigantic crazy whirlpool that's sucking the entire universe in it and then…Boom!" Darcey quickly said. Just after her explanation, there was a small blast that broke Loki's cell's glass.

"Why are you freeing me?" Loki asked, still confused by the whole situation. He was sure Selvig and Jane hated him, so why were they helping him escape?

"You can stop it." Jane promptly said. "You were once master of the Mind Spear, because of that, it contains traces of your energy in it, which means you still can control it with your magical energy."

"What?! How?"

"Surtur's ship. All six Infinity Stones are gathered in it and Ragnarok's energy is being sent from there." Eric Selvig hurriedly explained. "If you can control the Spear's energy long enough, we can inflate the cosmic winds and send their energy back to the stones, causing an overcharge of energy."

"And then…Boom!" Darcey happily added.

"The stones will be destroyed with the explosion." Jane explained with a hopeful smile. Doctor Selvig gave Loki a small flashy device.

"The first light will go on the moment you manage to redirect the Spear's energy to this device." The scientist said presenting a long metallic object. "When the fourth light goes on, you get out of the ship, otherwise you will…well, you know."

"Let me guess…Boom." Loki bluntly said when he saw Darcey open her mouth while stretching her arms to the sides. She glared clearly upset with him for spoiling her big moment. "And you trust me with this suicide mission?" The god of mischief asked the scientists.

"Yes." Jane spoke with such a confidence that it took Loki by surprise. "I know you want to make things right again. This is your chance." She said while she gave a small squeeze on his hand.

Loki stared down at their hand and then redirected his gaze to Jane's eyes. The air was caught in his throat with what he saw in the brown orbs. Sincerity, love, forgiveness. All he ever wanted, all he ever desired, he found in this human's eyes. He saw the essence of Jane, he saw her soul and understood why Thor loved her so much. Because there was so much love and goodness residing in her being. Love for life and everything living in it. Goodness that made her the innocent and altruistic person she was. He smiled with wonder. He smiled at Jane because she had just given him the greatest gift anybody could ever give him: forgiveness and a chance to redeem. Suddenly all old fears died away. He decided to embrace this mission. He would succeed, even if it would take his life. Loki didn't mind to die. Because in truth, he has already been dead for a long time. The god of mischief returned the small squeeze before releasing Jane's small hand. It was with a new confident smile, one filled of sincerity that he suddenly vanished, teleporting himself closer to Surtur's ship.

"Do you think he will help us?" Eric Selvig asked Jane after Loki disappeared before their eyes.

"Yes." Jane spoke with a hint of awe in her voice.

All the air had been caught in her throat when Jane had looked into Loki's green eyes. She _saw_ him. His essence, his soul, his being. Jane saw Loki's tragic life. She saw the wrong assumptions, the wrong decisions, the wrong choices. Jane saw the hurt. She saw the pain of not feeling loved enough, the pain of loving too much. Jane saw the fear. The horror in losing everything to darkness, of destroying everything and everybody with his mad ambitions. Jane saw the regret. The desperate desire to redeem, to amend his wrongs and be forgiven again. Jane saw the need. The want to be cared, to be protected, to be trusted, to be loved. Jane saw Loki's essence and despite of all the past sins and crimes, his soul was filled of love. An unconditional love that made him the altruistic person he truly was, ready to make any sacrifice for those he cared. Jane had gasped. She _had seen_ the good in Loki.

…

Thor had miraculously killed Surtur. It had been a crazy, ferociously violent battle. Surtur had become so powerful that he had grown in size, possessing the strength of one hundred fire-elves. There was a lot of hitting, smashing, crushing and fire blasts, but ultimately, Thor had succeeded in killing Surtur. He turned around panting and could feel his whole body cry from pain. But the battle was not over yet. Surtur might be dead, but Ragnarok had already started and a strange vortex of black and red clouds was sucking the world around him. He looked around. His eyes searched for Jane and his friends. It was then that he saw the destruction on the place where the prisons used to be. His heart sunk.

"Loki!"

…

Loki teleported himself several times. His magic only allowed him to travel short distances and the chaos around him didn't make the task any easier. He kept encountering fire-elves, whose aggressiveness was so extreme that he wondered if they were possessed and had transformed into fire demons. He saw the mother-ship hanging in the sky in the opposite side of the twisting whirlpool. His eyes widened when he saw in the distance, Surtur's colossal form fighting his brother. He lost some seconds to admire Thor's incredible combating skills. Loki wished he could help his older sibling, but there was no time. He needed to get to the ship, so the god of mischief teleported a few more times until he reached the edge of the craft, killing another bunch of fire-elves that guarded it.

Loki panted tiredly. His body was weakened by his time in the prison. The overuse of magic was draining his energy. He had decided not to use an invisibility spell to spare some vitality, but it brought the disadvantage that fire-elves saw him and kept attacking him. At least he was on the ship's edge now. He knew it was too soon to cheer and took a few seconds to locate Jane and the others. The strange metallic devices were practically set, so he turned around to enter the ship but suddenly heard a loud horrifying groan. His head shot to the source of the sound and smiled when he saw Surtur collapse dead, while Thor was still standing on his feet. Loki truly felt proud for his valiant and strong brother. But he had no time to cheer or linger in these kind of thoughts. He had a mission to fulfill. He had a universe to save. And so he ran inside the ship.

…

Thor flew fast in the air against the winds of the vortex, holding Mjölnir in his hand. The prison was, like most of part of the palace and the citadel around it, completely destroyed. He had despaired when he had not found his brother, but he had found Jane instead. And the news she had for him were disturbing. She had told him, in her typical rushed manner, about their mad plan and Loki's role in it. His feet finally landed on the ship and he quickly ran inside of it. Thor soon found Loki's trail, which was consisted by fire-elves lying dead on the floor with their throats slit open. The god of thunder had to recognize his brother was quite an efficient murderous warrior. He entered a division and came just in time to see another elf collapse with a dagger in its neck.

"Loki!" Thor shouted and ran through the door. Loki was already in another division and the god of thunder could see a red light behind his brother.

"Thor, what are you doing here?!" Loki asked shocked. Thor had the unpleasant thought his brother looked more dead than alive. The god of mischief was panting and looked completely worn out. His pale face was whiter than usual, even his lips had lost all color of life. His skin had shrunken back to the bones and his eye sockets were deep and dark. His clothing was stained with fresh blood. His curly hair was untamed, with some strands hanging in front of his eyes, making him look dangerously mad, despite his ill looks.

"I will not allow this!" The god of thunder determinedly said while he made a run to his brother.

"I'm not giving you a choice." Loki said while he waved his hands in front of him. Thor was shocked to watch a white substance form right in front of him, materializing itself into some kind of hard thick cold ice, as he hit his fist against it with force.

"No, Loki. Please, don't do this." Thor begged and his hands rested on the transparent surface materialized by his brother.

"It's the only way, Thor." Loki sadly said exasperated but seemed to calm down quickly, accepting the decisiveness and inevitable reality they found themselves in. He sighed and looked directly into his brother's azure eyes. "This is all my fault. I failed in keeping Asgard safe from Surtur. Our realm became vulnerable with Odin's absence. And now the entire Universe is in danger of obliteration."

"Please, Loki. Please don't do this." Thor begged, his eyes stinging already. There was no way his brother could survive this. He could see how pale and tired he already looked. How worn out he already was. "I love you! I cannot live without you!" He confessed while his eyes pricked, as they became watery.

"I am a fool." Loki confessed with a saddened smile while he faced his frightened brother. "And cruel and selfish. I cannot imagine how much pain I caused you all these years, the suffering I made you bear. And thinking that all this time I had everything. I had your love. And that would have been enough happiness for me if I wouldn't have been so blinded." Loki bitterly admitted and paused. He could see Thor's gasp of agony against the icy glass that separated them. He knew his brother's heart was aching as baldly as his. And yet, there was nothing he could do this time to escape death. No tricks or lies would save his skin. No eloquent word could ever stop Ragnarok. Loki regretfully accepted his doomed fate. A fate he unknowingly had built for himself a very long time ago.

"I threw it all away, Thor. I hurt you. I hurt both us. And I regret it so very much. If only I could turn back time, but I cannot! And now, we are in the verge of total destruction. I have to stop this! I have to save you!" The raven-haired prince took a step backwards and gave his brother a regretful smile. His eyes had a strange glint of compliance. His face was too determined and too serene. Thor's heart panged. He had seen that look in his brother's eyes before. He knew what it meant. He knew this was goodbye.

"No!" Thor shouted. "Loki, no!" He hit Loki's magical wall again and again. But it didn't even scratch. He watched horrified as Loki walked in the light's direction, entering a world of darkness and red mist. And then he saw something blue shining between his brother's hands.

…

Loki closed his eyes as he concentrated the little energy he still had left in his body. He opened them and saw a bright blue light come in his direction from inside the black and red smoke. He looked at the small device Selvig had given him and one small yellow light went on. He smiled. All he had to do now was focus. He could hear his brother screaming behind his fortified wall. He could hear him hit it with his hammer and was surprised with the strange strength he still possessed that even defied the mystical Möjlnir. Loki bitterly smiled, knowing this unexplainable strength was the last adrenaline left in his dying being. And while his body was dying, his spirit refused to give up just yet, triggering its survival instinct and producing a great boost of energy.

A second yellow light went on in Selvig's device. The blue light was growing stronger, brighter and larger, spreading itself in the room. Loki could feel his body start to shake. Breathing was starting to become strenuous. His chest hurt. His sight focused and unfocused. A third yellow light went on. Loki was feeling lightheaded. He was panting hard and cold sweat spread through his body. His arms were shaking wildly and uncontrollably as the blue light swallowed the black and red smoke around him. A piercing pain hit his chest and Loki screamed. He fell to his knees, but he refused to give up. He could hear Thor scream and hit the glassed wall for the thousandth time. Loki heard it shatter. He gave a few strenuous breaths and looked to his side. Thor was so close to him. The fool was going to stop him. Everybody was going to die because of Thor's rashness. Loki was so close of succeeding. Too close to fail.

"I'm sorry brother." Loki whispered while he looked directly into his brother's watery blue orbs. Thor's eyes widened greatly when he saw Loki lift one hand, anticipating what he would do.

"Brother! Noooooo!"

Thor vanished as Loki teleported him outside the ship. The god of mischief felt his heart skip a few beats. He could feel the tendrils of death crunch his body. He panted as no air entered his lungs. He tasted blood in his mouth. His head felt like it was going to explode. Loki was so close to succeed. He was so close, there was no way he was giving up. With one last painful strain, Loki sacrificed the last bit of life energy left in his worn out body. The blue light filled the room completely. A fourth small yellow light went on in Selvig's device.

Loki widened his eyes. Suddenly the blue light disappeared. The strange roar of the dying world around him ceased from existing. Instead he saw places and faces of people he once knew and cared about flash in a fast speed before his eyes. Frigga, Odin, Thor, Sif, the Warriors Three, Heimdall, Selvig, Jane, Amora. His breathing was shutting. He saw stars and planets travel in a high speed. His beating heart was shutting. He saw suns and galaxies travel in a high speed. All his physical senses were shutting. He saw a bright white light, which was followed by a loud great bang.

…

Thor appeared suddenly in the middle of the air and started falling. He cursed Loki's magic, his stubbornness and persistence. He quickly stretched his hand to receive his hammer, but Mjölnir only found it after Thor hit the ground hard and painfully. The god of thunder too was stubborn and persistent. He was determined to return to the ship and get Loki out of it before it was too late. He barely had his feet in the air, when he fell back on the ground. This time, Thor released a loud painful scream as a horrible sting pierced his heart, making his whole chest hurt and his breathing difficult. The blond warrior struggled to stand up, but stumbled back to the ground as he was overwhelmed with the feeling of invisible tendrils ripping a part of his soul away. Hot thick tears ran down Thor's eyes when he instinctively knew Loki was dead. He screamed on his knees from agony, but his voice was muted by the loud bang that filled the air. The pain in his chest was too great to bear. He couldn't breathe, he was dizzy and he collapsed to his side. The last thing he saw before he surrendered to darkness was a bright white light consuming the world around him.

…

Thor opened his eyes with a gasp. The pain in his chest was gone, but an awful feeling still lingered on it. He blinked a few times and quickly stood up. He was surprised to see the large vortex of black and red clouds was gone and his eyes met instead a beautiful blue and clear sky. He looked around him and swallowed dry. He couldn't recognize his surroundings. Smoke rose from between the crumbled buildings of what used to be the beautiful palace and citadel. Asgard was in ruins. While his eyes scanned the desolated world around him, they found what was still left over Surtur's great ship, which had meanwhile fallen on the ground. Thor quickly flew in the air and Mjölnir brought him inside the craft. He ran fast but it never felt fast enough. And then he heard a voice far away. It was crying. It was mourning.

Thor suddenly halted. He felt his legs give away and he fell to his knees. In the middle of scraps of metal and stones, sat Odin crying and holding the immobile body of his youngest son in his arms. Thor's eyes immediately watered and tears cascaded at their own will. Loki was dead and this time Thor could tell in his heart it was for real. Somehow Loki's magic had prevented his body from exploding along with the stones. It was intact and his skin was immaculate, with no traces of any withering greying tones. It resembled nothing like the time Loki had pretended to die in Thor's arms.

"My child. My beautiful son." Odin moaned while he kissed Loki's head and caressed his hair, while he bounced back and forward from the emotional pain.

It hurt insanely for Thor too look into his brother's green eyes, deprived of any emotion, deprived of life, glazed and gazing into the nothingness. The older prince watched as his father's trembling fingers gently shut Loki's eyes into an eternal sleep, like if he had heard Thor's thoughts. Loki looked so beautiful, all the traces of exhaustion, suffering and depression gone altogether with his life. He looked so unfairly serene, like he was sleeping peacefully while the word swallowed itself in misery and sorrow. Odin kissed Loki's forehead and caressed it while he wept softly. The god of thunder stared wordlessly at the heartbreaking scene. He saw Odin lift his head and his single azure orb met his eyes.

"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." Odin whispered and Thor wasn't sure he was talking to him or to Loki. Chills went down his spine. Loki had spoken those words just minutes before his death. Thor himself felt guilty for the unfolding of today's events and suddenly the bitter realization hit him.

"No father. It's nobody's fault." Thor sadly said. "That's just how life is."

* * *

**A/N**

**So we have reached now about the half of this story, so do not despair.**

**This chapter and the following one are mostly based on the Marvel Comics plotline, although, I changed the comic's story to fit mine. You might have an idea of what I'm planning for the future chapter.**

**Have a great easter and till the next update.**

**Oh, and don't forget to review! :D**


	13. Fleeting

Loki was gone and this time it was for real. But what most people usually don't not know is that there is always hope, even after death.

Short moments after Thor saw his brother's dead body lying in his father's arms, he decided he was going to fulfil his promise, the one he had made to Loki a long time ago. He didn't know how, but he was decided. Thor was going to defy death. He pondered a while where he would find reliable information about magic. He knew immediately where Loki would go so he hastily headed to the Great Library. Despite the most of the library being destroyed and many books were burned during Ragnarok, he did find some tomes about magic.

It was a strange image to watch. In a world of ruin, a world of broken debris, of fallen columns and statues, of fire and smoke; sat the prince of Asgard on the dirty floor in the middle of books and parchments. While everybody was busy mourning their losses, while everybody desperately tried to pick up bits of scraps of remainders of their former lives; Thor spent the afternoon flipping page after page. Eventually he found a mysterious volume about rare incantations. With a racing heart he read the contents and read a particular chapter. He grinned. He found what he was searching for. With Odin's permission Thor left hours before Loki's funeral to visit the only person that could help his brother.

"It's indeed a shame. Such a waste." Karnilla, the Queen of Norheim sadly spoke, as she elegantly sat on her throne. "Loki was a worthy opponent, as he was an ally."

Kanilla couldn't hide the regret and sorrow in her voice. The news of Loki's death hit her like a merciless blow. Immediately memories flashed in her mind and she fought her tears back. She remembered the crazy situations they occasionally got themselves in, whether it was when they worked together, against each other or shared passionate moments. The Queen of Norheim was sure there had been a time, would Loki had asked her, she would have given her heart to him without any hesitation. But the god of mischief had always been mysterious, incomprehensible and unreachable. He never opened to her, even in times she knew he wanted, he needed to vent his fears and frustrations. Loki was like the wind. He came and went when it suited him, sometimes like a soothing breeze, sometimes like a terrifying tempest. Loki was untamable and Karnilla had always known that. As much as she loved and hated him, he never would have been hers.

"I don't think all is lost. I found this book in what is still left from Asgard's library." Thor told while he presented the book. He could read the curiosity and interest in Karnilla's eyes, as they glinted the moment she saw the object. "It's called the _Book of Hel_ and there is a spell that can restore a soul to its body." The god of thunder opened the book on the right page and handed it over to the Queen. She read silently the text Thor had pointed her out.

"You do realize this spell will not return Loki's spirit to his original body but to a new-born baby?" The fair Queen said after she read the appointed page.

"Yes, but the book says that the memories will live on in this new body." Thor clarified.

"This is a very powerful spell, Thor. Loki will be reborn. However, we will never know where and when. Time ceases to exist after death and a minute for a soul can be many years for us."

"That will be no problem. I've learned to be patient. As for finding him, leave it up to Heimdall. He sees everything that goes on in the Universe."

"Very well. Then allow me to explain you what this spell will do." Karnilla solemnly spoke. "Loki will be reborn, which means he will carry the same looks and personality of this life. However, he will lose all recollections of his time with us. Do not worry. His memories will survive, but they will remain in a dormant state. They could manifest themselves, like short glimpses through dreams, fears or _dejá-vus_, but it will never be enough to remember fully his previous life." Karnilla paused and sighed. It was a risky spell. Nothing could go wrong, there was no space for mistakes. But even if the spell was wielded correctly, everything still could go wrong afterwards. She looked intently at Thor before she continued.

"It's crucial that Loki remembers his memories fully. Only then will the enchantment be carried out completely. Once Loki remembers everything, independently of which race he embodies in; his body will be magically turned back to its former organism. Loki will have his memories, his magic and his original body back. It will be as if he never died."

"I understand. What will have to be done to restore his memories?" Thor asked, feeling nervous about the whole concept. What if his brother was to be reborn as a fire elf or a Jotun again? How was he going to restore his memories back if he would reincarnate in an enemy race?

"I don't know." Karnilla said while she apologetically shook her shoulders. "Familiar situations, perhaps." Thor repressed a frustrated groan at the vague answer. It was clear the book didn't give any clue about that matter.

"Alright." The god of thunder said. He realized he would have to figure that out what to do at the moment itself. As for the moment to be, he had a more important matter in mind. "Can you perform this spell?"

"With the power of the Norn Stones, yes. It might actually work. But we must act fast. The enchantment works best in the high of the night, when Loki's soul is still lingering around the body. Usually souls move on after sunrise."

"We better get moving them. We only have a few hours left."

…

It had been a strange spell. Karnilla had placed the Norn Stones around Loki's body. She spoke strange words. At first nothing happened, but while the sorceress spoke out the enchantment, the Norn stones started glowing an emerald green light. The light grew stronger and soon it left the stones and materialized itself in the form of a long ribbon made of light and mist. The ribbon stretched itself completely until it encircled Loki's body and hovered above the stones.

"Loki's spirit." Karnilla whispered with awe. Thor's eyes widened greatly and a cruel hope filled his heart.

"Can he see us?" Thor asked.

"I do not know the answer for that. When we die, our soul leaves the body and survives as a spirit, as a part of the Universe's collective energy. I have no idea if a soul sees." Karnilla explained, before she read the second part of the enchantment. The misty green ribbon flew around Loki's body, glowed once and then broke the circle to concentrate on Karnilla's hand, in the shape of a ball, until it materialized itself again, this time in a small green emerald stone. The sorceress whispered the last words to the stone and it shone bright. She placed it on Loki's chest and the stone became one with the body. "It's done. The funeral must take place now, so that the soul can move on."

…

Loki's funeral had been even sadder than Frigga's. Those who survived the destruction of Surtur's army and of Ragnarok's whirlpool, paid farewell to their youngest prince, who died before his time. A prince who had impressed many with his brilliance, who had terrified realms with his cruelty, but ultimately gained the forgiveness and admiration of the people of Asgard for his redemption and ultimate sacrifice. One life for the sake of the Universe. During three nights candles were lightened by all Asgardians in his honor, but many continued this practice even after his funeral. One of them was Thor.

During many, many years, the god of thunder diligently lightened a candle every evening in honor of Loki. That was his only role in the spell Karnilla casted on Loki's soul. But it was a crucial one.

"_It's essential you lighten a candle for him every evening, without ever failing._" Karnilla had explained after the funeral. "_I succeeded to reconnect Loki's soul to the material world tonight, but it remains a fragile link. To ensure his connection to the material life, a person with a strong connection to him will have to honor his memory every evening, when nigh falls. Even if you were enemies in life, the love between the two of you has always remained alive. It's an undeniable fact. There is no bond stronger than that of brotherhood_."

…

The Odinsleep was a strange and cruel slumber. Being the Allfather was much more than being king. It demanded all of his attention and magic. Every day it drained and consumed his soul's energy. That was the harsh reality. From time to time, Odin needed this sleep to refuel his powers. During this time he became fragile and vulnerable, exposed to any danger. And so did Asgard.

While rebuilding Asgard, Odin discovered Loki had truly done his best to be a good king. There were unmistakable traces of his magic and energy in different places of the realm to prove this. The Allfather's youngest son had finally understood the hard lessons life had given him. He strived to redeem himself and make up for his past crimes by giving Asgard the rightful king it deserved. Yet, Loki had done terrifying things during his rule. Things the old king wouldn't have dreamed or dare to do. Hard decisions that were so radical and so full of risks that Odin would have discarded them without second thought. And yet, it were these decisions that had protected Asgard during two years.

Alas, Loki was too young and too damaged to keep up his rule. If it hadn't been his powerful magic and great skills, the younger prince would have severely ill. He would never have endured that long. But Loki had always been the clever and spirited one and the old king realized too late, a child can too pass wisdom to its parent. Odin had been too proud and stubborn to understand that Loki had the capacity of doing what was needed to be done. Ragnarok was inevitable. And when he sacrificed himself, Odin felt his painful offer and woke up. It had been a merciless timing but that was the cruelty of the Odinsleep.

After Surtur's fall and the end of Ragnarok, a long period of reconstruction followed. It took a decade before a new beautiful citadel and palace stood in the heart of Asgard. It took a decade before the god of thunder and his men managed to bring back the peace in the nine realms. Much had to be restructured, new laws and new measures needed to be created. Many alliances had weakened that trust had once again have to be rebuild. During a decade, Jane lived in the court of Asgard, under the protection of Thor and under the vigilant eye of Odin. The old king had been too tired and too afraid in losing his oldest son too, so for this time, he allowed a desecration. He allowed the presence of a mortal among gods.

Jane wasn't happy in Asgard. Thor was often away in battles or diplomatic reunions in other realms. Although Odin and his Court were always polite and respectful to her, she could sense it was forced, it was unnatural. Although Sif accompanied her often as a guardian and had the patience to answer many of Jane's curious, the mortal could sense the hidden despise and antipathy the female warrior felt for her. Although Volstagg and Hogun were always kind to her, she never felt treated or accepter as a friend. Jane was also certain that it wasn't because she was Thor's consort that Fandral never gave her a second look (not that she was really bothered by that). Jane could see the way militaries, the palace's staff and civilians looked at her. They perceived her as something inferior. Nobody understood the heir's interest in her, but accepted because they had no other choice. Jane was a mortal. A woman from Midgard. And therefore, she was an outcast. A fate that was destined to her until her death. It was not surprising that, after a decade, Thor and Jane moved back to Midgard. Despite Odin's blessings, neither of them was fooled. The old king, just as the rest of Asgard, were relieved to get rid of the mortal. As for the departure of the realm's heir, everybody knew it would be a matter of a few decades and Thor would be back in Asgard.

…

Thor and Jane spend many years living in happiness. They never had children, for some reason, Jane's womb seemed not to accept Thor's seed, which was probably for the best, since it would be a too cruel destiny for Jane to never see her child grow up, just like it would be cruel for the child to grow up without a mother.

Earth was still a few times attacked by dangerous and powerful enemies, but Thor and the Avengers always succeeded in defeating the monsters, even when things felt too challenging and hopeless. Eventually Earth came to live a relatively peaceful era again. Thor cherished each moment he spent in this realm with Jane and his friends. But years flew fast and the god of Thunder quickly learned the true meaning of the word _fleeting_.

While he remained in the prime of his youth, Thor had to watch the people around him become older and older.

The first innocent white hair quickly multiplied to a head of shades of grey and white. The first subtle almost invisible wrinkle grew in number and deepened in the skin. Diseases would afflict the fragile and vulnerable bodies, limiting their capabilities. Eric Selvig, despite his strong heath, was the first to succumb to death. He lived a long life for Asgardian standards, keeping a brilliant mind and a vigorous body until the end of his days. But not everybody was as lucky as Selvig. The worst was when the mind would be affected. Thor watched with sorrow as his friends quickly grew old, sick and senile until death too claimed them away.

Thor witnessed Steve Rogers slowly lose track of reality. At one point, he forgot he had slept 70 years inside an ice cube. His mind travelled back in time and he relieved daily his battles during the Second World War, his old fears and sorrows, the loss of his best friend Bucky. Fury's case had been even worse. He ended his days not recognizing any of his friends. As for Tony Stark, his wealth and influence could not save him from a rare type of cancer. There was no treatment, no medicine that could save him from his illness. The Hawk died in a crash and Natasha Romanova perished during one of her missions, when her body betrayed her as it slowed down her reactions, causing her fatality.

Jane had been, just like Doctor Selvig, blessed with a strong health and lucid mind. She did not reach hundred and died without any warning, during an afternoon nap. By the time death took Jane, the only friends Thor had that were still alive were the always witty Darcey, now living in a luxurious retirement home; and a very old Eric Banner, who seemed to escape death because of the "other guy".

After Jane's funeral, Thor returned to Asgard. He carried a heavy sorrowful heart and Loki's words from the past haunted him down. _Say goodbye…This day, the next, a hundred years, it's nothing! It's a heartbeat. You'll never be ready._ Only now did understood his brother's words. Only now did he realize Loki hadn't been scolding or trying to hurt him back them. Loki had been trying to warn him. To tell him about the inevitable reality. And Thor, as usual, had not listened. Because Loki had been right. He was not prepared. He would never have been prepared.

Returning to Asgard had done him little good. While Earth carried too many memories of Jane and his friends, the new rebuilt Asgard carried no memories of his deceased mother and brother. It pained him not to find the things and places that held their memory. Loki's favorite place - the Library - was completely different. Mother's favorite gardens existed no more. Only their private chambers had been fully restored to their original state, but Thor knew most of the objects in them were copies and replicas of the ones destroyed by Ragnarok. None carried memories of Loki or Frigga.

Being around Sif and the Warriors Three did help to cheer him up, but only a little. Thor had stayed for so long in Earth that living in Asgard felt suddenly strange. Thor couldn't quite understand why, but he never had felt this alone before. Strangely, the god of thunder would often feel the loneliest when he was surrounded by friends and masses of people. He felt invisible when he was surrounded by many. And often wondered if this was how Loki had felt all his life.

Loki.

During his 52 years stay in Earth, Thor had placed a candle every single evening for his brother. Every single day he would call for Heilmdall and ask if Loki's reincarnation had been located. Alas, the Sentry always had a negative answer for him. Now that Thor was back in Asgard, feeling alone and depressed, he desperately clung to this ritual of burning a candle, desperately clung to the idea Loki would one day return. He whispered to the flame and begged Loki to return. This small ritual was the only hope he still had left. It was the only thing that make him go on. Yet, the dreadful thought that Karnilla's spell had not worked crossed his mind every now and then, driving his mad from hopelessness. But Thor would shake these despairing thoughts away immediately. He would never allow himself to surrender to these worries and give up on Loki. Because surrender was not in his nature. He would have his brother back, even if he would have to put a candle for Loki during several thousands of years.

As for Odin, he had allowed his son to grieve for the people he lost in Midgard. After two years, Thor was ready to take the throne. The Allfather had aged terribly the last fifty years and had become tired and weak. Still, Odin never ceased supporting Thor, for he was his main counselor many years. The former king never left his son's side until the day the he feel into the Odinsleep. He slept deeply until his lungs stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating.

…

"You summoned me, Heimdall?" Thor asked as he entered the golden dome.

"Yes I have, my lord. I have found him." The sentry guardian solemnly spoke. The Asgard's new king's eyes grew wide and expectant.

"Where?"

"In Midgard. In the same city Jane Foster lived."

Thor felt all the air leave his lungs. After one-hundred and thirty-one years, Loki had finally reincarnated. He couldn't help and find it ironic he was to born in the realm the god of mischief most despised. But that Loki should be in London, in Jane's home city, was something that took Thor completely off guard. That he had never expected.

"I want to see him."

"Of course." Heimdall spoke sternly, his gaze unjudging.

He placed the golden spear in the center of the dome's outlet, making the walls spin fast until the golden blurred completely and a bright light invaded the space. Thor travelled fast through thousands of stars and galaxies until his feet met heavily the hard ground below him. He looked around and realized he stood on a high stairway in front of a large white building. He recognized the statue of a blindfolded woman holding a balance with two scales. It was Lady Justice. He was at the Courthouse. Thor looked around and realized some people stared at him bewildered and a bit scared. He gulped. Maybe he should have thought this a bit through before heading to Midgard unprepared. Not only had he started a sudden thunderstorm (in which he was the only one spared from the rain), he also appeared out of nowhere and his clothing were far from being conventional. He ignored some of the startled looks and scanned his surroundings until he spotted a man with about a similar body structure as him.

"Hey, you!" The guy stared at him and gave a menacing look that failed in wiping Thor's smile away. "I'll be needing your shirt."

….

Thor quickly climbed the flight of stairs and looked around. How was he going to find Loki in the mist of all these people? The Courthouse had many rooms and departments. Searching for his reborn brother would be like finding a needle in a haystack. He saw one of the securities.

"Excuse me. I'm looking for Loki." Thor's heart was beating fast. What were the odds of his brother holding his original name in this life? The security gave him a wary look and lifted one eyebrow.

"The second door to the left."

Thor mentally thanked Karnilla's talent, happy Loki's name hadn't changed and quickly found the door. He opened but froze for some seconds at the entrance. It was a courtroom. The judge was sitting opposite him in the end of the chamber and a woman dressed in a beige suit was walking back and forth, questioning a man in his fifties. Thor silently slip in the row of seats most behind, while his eyes searched vainly for Loki. It was only when the female lawyer finished her questioning that a tall slender man stood up.

Thor's heart skipped a beat when he recognized this man as his brother. Loki looked exactly like the day he had last seen him. The day he had died. Only much healthier and well-cared. It was like time had not existed between then and now. Thor stared marveled at the embodiment of the love of his life. He admired and mesmerized each trace, each line of Loki's face. Pale pointy features with clear green eyes. Complexions that made him look both cold and fragile at the same time. His curly dark hair was long, going just under his shoulders, combed neatly back in his usual manner. He wore a dark suit and his voice was low but clear, filling the room with its eloquence. Yet, Thor could not hear the words his brother's lips were uttering. His ears were deafened. Instead, he watched enchanted as Loki gestured his hands graciously, paced or stood still in his elegant posture, smiling his knowing smile while his lips moved mutely.

"I object!" A female's voice suddenly invaded Thor's ears like a hard ringing sound and he shuddered.

"My honor, I merely want to state clear the use of the four millions pounds in his apparently concealed bank account in Dubai." Loki smoothly said, while he faked an innocent look.

"Overruled."

Loki's lips drew a familiar shrew line and Thor immediately knew he was winning this case. From the little Thor could follow, a stock trader was accused for working in the behalf of a renown hydraulic company, smuggling large amounts of money through fraudulent procedures. The Asgardian quickly understood the woman in the beige suit was the defender lawyer and Loki was the prosecutor. He listened as one followed the other in a speech of persuasion to the jury members. The woman's discourse was objective, yet expressive and demonstrative. Loki's was calculated, yet full of eloquence and with just a little dramatic edge. He finished his discourse demonstrating efficiently, by presenting facts and a logical chain of thoughts, that the defendant was guilty of the charges attributed to him.

"Thank you, Mr. Winter." The judge said, when Loki's speech ended. Thor smiled at the surname and thought there could never be a more appropriate one. "The court will pause for twenty minutes and will be followed by the verdict." The judge solemnly announced and hit the wooden hammer on the desk.

Everybody slowly exited the room. Thor stood up, ignoring the mass of people chatting loudly. His eyes never left the sight of his brother's reincarnation. Loki stood by his desk, tiding some papers, so the god of thunder decided to wait outside the door, like the rest of the people. He needed to talk with him, even if it was only to say hi. He needed to look into those green eyes, watch that smile on his lips, listen to his pleasant voice again. He smiled while he waited. Old hopes that had felt lost and forgotten for a long time were revived. Loki was back.

* * *

**A/N**

**Karnilla is a powerful sorceress in the Marvel Comics and was somethimes an ally of Loki.**

**The reborn thing is based on the comics, but with major alterations. In the comics Loki goes to the Underwold to make a deal with his daughter Hela so he can have his name erased from the Book of Hel, resulting in his reincarnation on Earth afterwards. He is reborn in Paris, bears no memories (but dreams of his past life) and Thor finds him and brings him back to Asgard.**

**So, what do you think of my interpretation/adaption of the Comics?**

**Be sure to review ;)**


	14. Reborn

The hallway was packed with people talking low and switching opinions about the case.

The lawyers were the last to leave. Thor remained close to the door and hoped to be able to aboard Loki. But the prosecutor was too busy talking with a blond young woman who held a map full of papers. The Asgardian figured out by her clumsy manners that she was his assistant or intern. Words were switched between Loki and her, in a low tone, so nobody would hear them. They finally departed and Thor decided to walk to Loki only to halt right away. The defendant's lawyer was now whispering something in Loki's ear. The smile Loki gave the clearly upset woman was one of mocking triumph. Thor patiently waited for the two to end their discussion, which took longer than he had hoped. Time was ticking fast. When they finally ended their conversation, the god of thunder walked in Loki's direction but bumped half way against somebody.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." The young blond woman that was co-working with Loki apologized while she bend over to pick up the papers she dropped on the floor during the crash.

"No, I'm the one that should be sorry." Thor immediately excused himself and helped her pick up her stuff. He had been so focused in Loki, that he didn't see the young woman rush in front of him. She gave a grateful smile and then stared at him with a positively impressed look.

"Ehm…Thank you." She said in a shy awkward manner, while she gestured a bit nervously.

"Kim, hurry up!" Thor and the blond girl both turned to the man that had called out. It was Loki and he was staring at the young woman with an urgent look, while he stood next to the door. "We have to go in!"

Thor sighed annoyed for his unsuccessful attempts in approaching his reincarnated sibling. He smiled kindly at the young woman. Kim waved back at him before following Loki into the room. Everybody took their places and the judge opened the verdict session. The defendant was considered guilty of all charges and Thor could read the suppressed triumphant happiness in Loki's shoulders when the words were outspoken. After the sentence was revealed, everybody exited the room in a loud chatter. Thor followed Loki with some distance and watched as some people came to congratulate him with a shake of hands. Afterwards Loki walked to the entrance's stairway to meet his opponent and they engaged in a second conversation.

"Hi! You're still here." Thor looked a bit down to find Kim smiling shyly at him.

"Yeah. Hey, congratulations on the case."

"Thank you." She said with a wide smile, while she placed a strand of blond hair behind her ear. Thor's eyes widened when he suddenly saw Loki approaching them.

"Want to go to Shelly's? Jenkins' paying for the drinks." Loki asked Kim with a happy smile.

"Ehm…I still have to categorize the…" Kim started, but the dark-haired lawyer cut her words.

"God, you're really boring." Loki complained while he shook his head. "We won! And it's Friday."

"I-I don't know…" The young woman hesitated.

"Having the opponent buying us a drink and savoring the taste of victory is also part of your learning process." Loki said in a tone that left no space for discussion. "Come on." He said while he turned and gestured her to follow him. "You can bring your friend along." Kim stared wide-eyed from Loki, who was already descending the flight of stairs to meet the defender lawyer, to Thor. The blond god smiled.

"Why not?"

…

"Losers first." Loki said with an impish tone while he gestured the defender lawyer to step in the bar. She gave him a reprimand look, which only made his victorious smile grow. The woman entered and Kim was right behind her when Loki stopped her.

"This is a bar, not a church." Loki whispered to Kim. Before the young woman had time to react, the raven-haired man unbuttoned her blouse's first two buttons quickly and handily.

"Hey!" Kim protested, shocked by the daring move, and mostly shocked by the discreet velocity he undid them.

"Oh, doe calm down. I'm not going to rape you." Loki's smile transformed in to a mischievous grin when he noticed Kim was controlling herself not to hit him, or something of the kind. She entered the bar while she released a frustrated groan, resulting a soft chuckle from Loki. The lawyer turned his head to his side and it was the first time he actually looked at Thor. Their eyes connected for brief seconds and Loki's wide grin slowly diminished to an almost shy smile. The Asgardian warrior smilingly gestured Loki to enter first, which he did. They headed to the bar's lounge area and sat on the couches.

"I believe we haven't been properly introduced yet." The female lawyer said while she stretched her arm to shake Thor's hand. "I'm Sandra Jenkins. I'm the one who's going to pay your drinks in celebration of Mr. Winter's glorious triumph." She said with a mocking tone, while she gestured at Loki, who already sat comfortably on his couch, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt's top buttons.

"Just call me Loki." He said while he grinned.

"Thor Blake." The Asgadian decided to use his birth name, hoping it would help revive his brother's memories. The alias surname he was used to wear in the past also proved to come in handy, since nobody in this realm seemed to bear only one name.

"So, how long do you two know each other?" Loki asked curiously, pointing from Kim to Thor and back, while Sandra walked to the bar's counter to order the drinks.

"Quite recently, actually." Thor said with a wide contented smile before Kim could say anything, much to her own relieve. Loki's eyes rested on him for a few seconds, darting from up to down, clearly studying the other male closely.

"I'm guessing you're not in the law sector." Loki said, coming from the clothes Thor was wearing.

"You guess correctly. I'm actually an astrophysicist." Kim's mouth gapped and Loki's eyes widened a bit.

"Really? You don't strike me as an astrophysicist." Loki honestly commented. "What's your expertise area?"

"The Einstein-Rosen Bridge theory."

"The what?" Kim asked confused.

"It's a wormhole." Loki quickly clarified. At that moment, Sandra Jenkins arrived with two drinks and placed them in front of the prosecutors' members.

"Never knew you had knowledge on astronomy matters, Mr. Winter." Sandra said.

"There are many things you don't know about me, Mrs. Jenkins." Loki said in a playful manner and she grinned at his words. Thor realized, despite them being opponents, they seemed to be befriended. "To victory!" Loki cheered to Kim, while he lifted his drink and took a sip of it. The blond woman reproduced his gesture and almost chocked.

"Auh! It's strong!" She blurted, sounding truly surprised.

"I told you would have a complete internship with me, did I not?" Loki said in an amused giggle.

"No kidding!"

"And what would our astrophysicist here like to drink?" Sandra Jenkins asked Thor.

"A pint ale will do fine."

…

Thor was truly blissful he could be in the company of Loki again. It was great to see him again, looking healthy and above all, alive. Loki sat relaxed, smiling and giggling easily. It warmed Thor's heart to see him this happy and he had to restrain himself from hugging his brother tightly. The king of Asgard had to keep telling himself this man wasn't truly his sibling. He was his reincarnation. Loki's soul and essence resided in this Midgardian vessel, but the memories of his previous life were lost, or better, dormant. It was his task to restore them, only he didn't really know how. So now, the Asgardian was trying to figure out how to get Loki's attention, since the lawyer was engaged in a never-ending conversation with Sandra Jenkins. Suddenly, somebody called on the defender lawyer's phone and Sandra excused herself to answer it. Thor smiled, hoping this would be his chance, but Loki sat back and picked his own phone. He seemed to be completely immersed in whatever he was doing. Thor watched frustrated as Loki's long fingers touched the screen several times and once in a while a soft giggle would escape his lips.

"Ha! _pseudo-intellectual jerk_!" Loki suddenly barked amused. Kim blinked a few times and then stared at him with an appalled look.

"Is that?" Kim started. The lawyer laughed harder. "_Self-centered egotistical goon_! Really?"

"Loki! That's my phone!" Kim yelled infuriated, her face going red from embarrassment.

"Oh sweetheart, you'll have to do much better than that." Loki said with a naughty grin while Kim ripped off the phone from his hand.

"How did you get to my phone in the first place?" Kim asked still bewildered.

"You should try something more like: _selfish nerdy conceited full of yourself stooge_." Loki said, ignoring his intern's question.

"I hate you!" Kim yelled red from rage and embarrassment while she held her phone protectively against her chest

"Now _that'_s really lame." Loki arrogantly retorted.

"I cannot leave you two children alone for a minute and you're already fighting." Sandra said in a joking manner, meanwhile having returned from her call.

"He had my phone! Can you believe that?" Kim accused.

"You're lucky he didn't get to your keys." Sandra Jenkins said with a knowing look. Kim looked horrified and started searching inside her purse. Thor giggled amused when Loki lifted his hand, displaying a set of keys with a triumphant look.

"Hey, give me those back!" Kim yelled, while she clasped the keys away from Loki's hand. "You bloody thief!"

"You really have to work on your insults." Loki said amused. "Sandra, you should have seen the kind of lame things she writes about me."

"What were you going to do with my keys, anyway?" Kim asked still bewildered.

"I was thinking about keeping them like, for three days, and let you put the whole office and your house upside down until I would, by the mostly improbable chance, find them and return them to you."

"T-That's what happened to George last week!" Kim realized. "You…You are twisted."

"Yep, that's Loki and his crazy pranks." Sandra said while she picked her purse. "Has a brilliant mind, but there's also a child inside of him that refuses to die."

"Are you leaving already?" Loki asked surprised.

"Unlike you, I have a family to go to." Sandra replied. "You guys have fun."

"I'm going too, before he steels anything else from me!" Kim said while she got up. She made the _call me_ sign to Thor.

"He has no phone on him." Loki told Kim.

"And how do you know that?" Kim asked. Thor was staring as equality surprised.

"I've been through his pockets already. No wallet either. I guess our astrophysicist friend here is whether the forgetful type or a minimalist."

"Thor, the moment he starts talking too fast and without thinking, it's your queue to leave. You don't want to imagine the crazy stuff he'll do when he's drunk." Sandra Jenkins warned the Asgardian and Kim gave an almost frightful look at Loki.

"I cannot believe my internship is half a year long and it's been only two weeks." Kim moaned in a dispassionate manner, causing laughter around them.

"Have a good weekend. And Kim… behave yourself." Loki said, while Thor waved goodbye at the women. "Hey love, another whiskey and a pint." The raven-haired lawyer ordered when a waitress passed by, who gave him a flirty look, mere seconds after Sandra and Kim left the bar. "So… Thor, the astrophysicist…got any plans for the night?" The raven-haired lawyer asked with a grin Thor was very familiar with. He smiled widely knowing whatever Loki had in mind, it was filled of good old-fashioned mischief.

…

Thor couldn't remember having this much fun for ages. After the women left, Loki started spreading confusion in the bar. He explained Thor that, due to its location, it were mainly lawyers and solicitors, security guards and business men that frequented the bar. They came here every day after work and Loki knew all their names, jobs and most importantly, their little dirty secrets. How did he know all this? Through his amazing pickpocket skills, which he had been demonstrating to Thor, the last few hours. Loki would "accidentally" bump against his "victim". Between that moment and when he excused himself for his clumsiness, he would pick up the phone, wallet or keys. He would then switch the objects between several customers and enjoyed the state of confusion it provoked when they realized they had the wrong phone, wallet or keys. Thor laughed amused at the innocent pranks, thinking of how this man reminded him of Loki when they were teenagers.

"This one is cheating on his wife!" Loki said sounding scandalized, while he went through the messages of one of his "borrowed" phones.

"You might want to be careful. What if the owner sees you have his phone?" Thor said, aware the alcohol was starting to affect Loki's prudence.

"They all look the same!" Loki said in an amused giggle while he typed something. "Mr. Hunter is about to get hunted by his wife."

"What are you doing?"

"Sending Mrs. Hunter a message from Mr. Hunter that will look like it was sent by mistake, with a content she will understand was not meant to be sent to her."

"You cannot do that!"

"Why not? The guy is cheating on her! It's what he deserves."

"Loki, I admire your sense of justice, but I really think it's time to leave the bar. Let's just pay the bill and get out of here." Thor cautiously said. He knew Loki well enough to sense he had already drank too much to think straight.

"Okay, okay. I'm paying, since _you_ walked in here empty handed… Do you have the habit of doing that? Because you do know it's illegal to walk around without your ID. Imagine if a cop would stop you… Oh well, you probably could easily knock anyone down with all those muscles…How does as astrophysicist get the habit of going to the gym, anyway?" Loki ranted way too fast for his normal self, a clear sign he was indeed quite drunken. Thor guided him to the counter, while he dropped Mr. Hunter's phone somewhere midway.

"Time to go home, Loki." Thor said, while he guided the raven-haired lawyer outside.

"What? The night is still a child! Besides, I'm starving." Loki argued.

"Actually, I could eat something myself." Thor admitted as his stomach started grumbling. He looked at Loki, who was walking slightly unbalanced next to him. He stopped and turned to the Asgardian.

"Here. I drank too much to drive." Loki said while he gave his keys to Thor. "It's that one over there." He pointed at a silver audi.

"Where do you want to go? Its half past eleven already, I doubt anything is open at this time." Thor asked, being reminded of the Midgardian costumes and ways. He opened the driver's door and entered.

"Just follow my directions."


	15. Loki Winter

"I like this place. I would have expected a more fancy address from you, though." Thor confessed while he took a fork of his steak. They sat in a small shabby restaurant by the Thames River.

"It's quiet, food is good and has a great view. If I would go to a fancy restaurant, I would surely come across someone I know and I like to avoid that."

"Why is that?"

"I like my privacy."

"And yet you invade others' privacy." Thor knowingly said. Loki's eyebrow arched and he let out a soft amused laughter. "Where did you learn to pickpocket like that?" The Asgardian asked. Loki's smile slowly faded away and his eyes looked thoughtful while they rested on the light reflections on the river.

"I grew up in the streets." Loki whispered, never facing Thor. "I was an orphan…hated the orphanage so, when I was ten I ran away and…lived from stealing and cunning people with card tricks and stuff like that."

"Really? So how did you become a successful lawyer?" Thor asked curiously. He could see in Loki's eyes he wasn't lying and was sure the amount of alcohol in his body was contributing to his uncharacteristic honesty. Loki let a small amused giggle escape his lips and took a sip of his wine.

"When I was 12, the police caught me. I was set back into the system and, during 3 years I kept jumping from foster family to foster family. I refused to be accepted in any family and did everything to get myself in trouble, so I would be sent back to the orphanage. Until the day this family took me in. The _father _somehow understood I was much more intelligent that the school reports led on. He was clever and one day he took me to his work, to the courthouse. I became immediately fascinated by its world and he allowed me to follow his work and even help with some of his cases. You can fill in the rest of the gaps."

"Wow, so you took the rightful path, despite the bad start."

"I guess. If that family wouldn't had taken me in, I was by now probably a drugs lord of something like that." Loki said jokingly, but Thor could recognize in the undertone that he was aware of his dark side and conflicted by it, just like previous life initially had, before Loki decided to embrace darkness completely. The Asgardian looked at him inquisitively.

"Do you…know anything about your biological parents?" He carefully asked. Thor knew it was a delicate question, probably an impolite one too, since they had barely met. He hoped Loki had enough alcohol in his system to make him more sociable and less defensive. However, the raven-haired lawyer looked at him a bit shaken. "I-I'm sorry!" Thor quickly apologized, realizing he had pushed on the matter too soon. "It's not my place to question you that."

"Indeed it's not." Loki said in a rasped tone and Thor gulped. He looked guiltily at his brother's reincarnation but witnessed his features soften. "But, it's okay." The lawyer said in a whisper, his voice sounding almost apologetic. "I have no idea who my parents were. I was found nearby a garbage container, hours after I've been born. Cast out to die in the cold." He spoke and took another sip of his wine, his eyes fixed in an invisible point, looking lost. "I figured out my mother was a young woman, a teenager perhaps. I can only imagine how scared and desperate she was to take such an action... It's not the fact she didn't want me that bothers me, though. There are so many women that give up their child for all kind of reasons. No. It's the fact she threw me away like garbage and let me to die, like if I was a worthless disposable something."

"I-I'm really sorry. I cannot imagine how it must feel." Thor apologized again, cursing for his unwise curiosity.

"I see you have parents that love you." Loki wisely stated with a bitter smile, fixing his gaze on Thor's.

"They… ehm…they both passed away. But yes, they did love me." The Asgardian awkwardly answered.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Loki honestly said. "You must miss them."

"Yes. It gets lonely sometimes. But I hold good memories of them." Thor said with a melancholic smile and Loki's lips reflected his.

"Loneliness…" Loki whispered in a thoughtful manner and was silenced for a few seconds. He shrunk his eyes slightly and bit his under lip. Thor instinctively knew the raven-haired man was uncomfortable with the direction this conversation had taken and was about to change from topic. "So, how did you become an astrophysicist?" Thor barked a laughter and Loki smiled sincerely, looking a bit relieved.

"I guess I've been all my life attracted to the mysteries of the universe." Thor half lied. "The Einstein-Rosen Bridge, I believe it's a system that connects this world to many others." He prudently told, being familiar with Jane's theories difficult acceptance.

"You mean a system that would allow us to travel between planets through this Einstein-Rosen Bridge?"

"Yes." Thor said with a smile, hoping this conversation would enhance Loki's lost memories.

"Sounds pretty much like Jane Foster's Rainbow Bridge theory to me. Are you continuing her investigations?" Thor's heart skipped a bang when Loki's lips uttered her name. And realized it could never be just a coincidence that the lawyer was familiar with this very specific niche of science.

"You are quite familiar with the subject for a lawyer." Thor pointed out.

"I was fascinated by her theory since a small child." Loki confessed with an amused grin.

"Why is that?" The Asgardian asked and the lawyer shook his shoulders.

"I don't know. There is just something in her theory that feels…real." Loki said in a thoughtful manner. His eyes then shifted to Thor's again and he chuckled softly. "Ah. You must think I'm crazy."

"I do not. Actually, I agree with you." Thor whispered and he could see a shy kind of fear creep into Loki's eyes. The same kind of fear he had seen in his brother's eyes on the night they first made love. On the night they confessed their feelings for each other. The Asgardian sensed the discomfort settle in Loki. He had to act quickly before Loki would start building up his defenses again. "Would you like to see it?"

"See what?" Loki asked confused.

"The Rainbow Bridge system."

…

The two men stood on the top of a fifty store building. Thor had taken Loki to the same building he and Jane so often studied the starry abode. He felt a bit guilty in bringing his brother's reincarnation to one of the places that was filled with Jane's memories, but it was the best spot in London to read the stars with the naked eye.

"There are Nine Realms, nine planets". Thor explained while they walked to the terrace's center.

"If you mean the solar system, than I'm sorry to inform you it only has 8 planets."

"No. I mean the nine main planets with life in the Universe. The only planet in this solar system that belongs to the Nine Realms is Earth. The others are also in this galaxy, but outside Earth's solar system." Loki stared at Thor with an unfocused look and seemed to be straining his thoughts to understand the other's explanation.

"Okay. Nine planets with life in the Milky Way. And the Rainbow Bridge connects them all?"

"Kind of… They are interconnected through a wormhole system I like to call Yggdrasil. Like branches belonging to one great tree."

"Yg-what?! For Christ sake! Wouldn't you like to find a more intricate word so it will be totally unintelligible?" Loki sarcastically complained for Thor's amusement.

"I like the sound of it. Anyway, the Rainbow Bridge is one of the connecting points, one of the great tree branches."

"Right. So, where are these other eight planets?"

"Well, Asgard is to that direction." Thor pointed and Loki's eyes followed his index. The blond looked at the other man's face to see if there was some kind of reaction to their home realm's name, but nothing.

"Jotunheim is, let me see… that way." Thor shifted his arm to his right and Loki continued following his index. The blond Asgardian suppressed a sigh of disappointment as the other man showed no kind of reaction whatsoever to this word either. Thor's heart sunk at the realization it probably would be much more difficult to restore Loki's memories than he had first hoped.

"Svartalfheim…"

"Sart-ti-hem?"

"Svartalfheim." Thor repeated with an amused giggle.

"Vart-al… Is this some kind of self-created language? Or do you just join letters randomly and make the most impossible combinations so you can make fun of people?" Thor barked a laughter at Loki's obvious irritability. The dark-haired man gave an annoyed look for a few seconds and then he too released a small amused laugher. "Okay, so what are the other names?"

"Muspelheim, Alfheim, Vanaheim, Nifleheim and Helheim."

"Ah, I see the pattern. They all end in -_heim_. Is that _realm _in your dictionary?" Loki asked while his eyes glistered from enthusiasm and Thor let out a small amused laughter.

"You're very clever, Loki Winter." He complimented and Loki gave a half shy smile. He shuddered when a cold breeze swept over the terrace and instinctively put his arms around his body for protection. Thor's eyes widened. This was the first time he ever saw Loki show signs of feeling cold and was suddenly reminded of his Midgardian fragile body. "You are cold."

"You think?" Loki sarcastically asked. Thor grew more concerned when he noticed the other was chattering his teeth.

"You're trembling from cold. Why didn't you say anything?" Thor said in a scolding manner. He instinctively picked Loki's hands in his and was shocked by how ice cold they felt. The lawyer widened his eyes at the unexpected touch, but didn't budge. "We need to get you to a warmer place." The Asgardian said, while he released Loki's hands and guided him to the terrace's exit while his hand rested now on the lawyer's back.

"How is it possible that you don't feel cold in that T-shirt? You are not human!"

"I don't get cold easily. You should have said something earlier. Do you want to get sick?"

"I was enjoying listening to your story about Ygdril and Startervan!" Loki said in almost a whining manner and, wouldn't it be for the fact Thor was concerned about the raven-haired man's health, he would have laughed heartily at Loki's words.

"I'm taking you home. You are clearly too drunk to even recognize your own physical limitations." The Asgardian said while he opened the passenger's door of Loki's car. He put the heat on the maximum, while Loki put on the radio. "Loki, what way to your house?"

"I don't want to go home… Tell me more about the Ribbon Bridge."

"Rainbow Bridge." Thor corrected. "I'll tell you when we are at your place, okay?"

"Uhmmm… Okay."


	16. Desperate Need

The ride to Loki's home had been quite amusing. Thor's brother's reincarnation drunken version was funny and reminded him a lot of Doctor Erik Selvig when he had a few beers too much. The blonde smiled as Loki, once in a while sung a part of whatever song was playing on the radio and then would give the directions in between. There were a few times he told Thor to turn too late, or would realize they had just missed their turn, so they ended up driving in circles, very much for Loki's great delight.

"Here! I live here! Stop here! That's my door over there!"

"Loki, there's no space to park there!"´

"Just leave the car in the middle of the street."

"You are way out of your mind. Do you get yourself this drunken often?" Thor asked, wanting to sound upset, but sounding amused instead. He parked the car a few meters away from the door Loki had just pointed a moment ago and stopped the engine. There was a moment of silence.

"I don't usually drink or talk this much or do half of the nonsense I did tonight, if that's what you are wondering." Loki spoke in a low slurred tone.

"So you are completely aware of what you have been doing tonight?"

"Of course."

"So you remember you've been pickpocketing?"

"Yes. I switched phones and keys and wallets…screwed Mr. Hunter's secret love life. Oh, and then we went to eat a midnight dinner and talked about personal stuff I would appreciate very much if you wouldn't tell Kim."

"I'm not that close to her."

"Neither am I. The more reason why." Thor looked at Loki, realizing the lawyer was surprisingly much more sober than he looked like. He also didn't seem to want to leave the car. The Asgardian had the feeling the other was becoming shy, as a silent pause settled between them and grew awkward.

"Why did you tell me those things then?" Thor asked. Loki remained a long while quiet, obviously thinking about the right answer, the alcohol slowing down his train of thoughts. He shook his shoulders before turning his head to face Thor.

"I guess that's what alcohol does to me."

"Why do I have the feeling you are lying to me?" Thor said while he lifted his brow knowingly.

Loki's eyes rested on his and he make a small "hum" sound followed by a naughty smile. Their gazes remained locked for a while, green on blue and Thor decided to take the risk. He leaned slightly over and when he saw Loki wasn't planning to budge or back away, he closed the distance between them and touched the lawyer's lips.

Thor's heart bounced madly inside his chest, as the touch brought back the many memories of his time spent with Loki. He had forgotten how his lips felt this soft, this warm, this good and pecked them several times. Loki was being responsive, so the Asgardian moved his tongue begging to have access granted. Loki willingly accepted the blonde's move, inviting him to his warm interior. The moment Thor's tongue touched Loki's, a small happy moan escaped the lawyer's throat. The taste and sound were so familiar, so enticing that Thor desperately needed more. He gave more passion to the kiss, which was responded with the same eagerness. Thor's arms enveloped Loki, whose hands were tracing lines on the blonde's broad back. The raven-haired man let himself be guided to rest his back against the window's glass. Both males allowed themselves to be immersed in the kiss, feeding lust into their bodies, hands shuffling their clothes. Loki pulled Thor closer to him with a moan, demanding more of him and while doing so, the blonde shifted and accidently hit the horn. He startled and broke the kiss. Thor quickly stat up and looked shocked when he realized they were making out in the car. Loki stared at him with unfocussed eyes, his cheeks pink and lips departed.

"Why did you stop?" Loki asked sounding confounded.

"Shit, Loki! We cannot do this in the car!" Thor whispered exasperated, causing an amused giggle by the lawyer.

"Where's your spirit of adventure?" Loki said in a both seductive and slurry voice, already pushing the blond closer to him.

"No Loki, not in the car!" Thor replied while he cursed his sibling's reincarnated state of drunkenness. He released a soft grunt when Loki licked and nibbled the skin on his neck. "Loki!"

"Okay, okay. Upstairs we'll go then."

The raven-haired lawyer said in a giggle, while he leaned over to peck Thor's lips another few times, before finally backing away and opening the door. Thor didn't know if he should laugh or not, when the other stumbled out of the car and clumsily stood up only to walk unbalanced to the building's door without waiting for him. The god of thunder quickly rushed behind Loki, his body and mind fueled by lust and desire.

Thor was desperate to feel his brother's touch, to breathe his scent, to taste his flavor, to listen to his voice, his soft moans and nasty groans. He needed to make up for all the lost time. For all the years he missed Loki. To kill this horrible feeling of wanting, of cruel longing. He rushed inside the building and soon they were inside the elevator, where Thor couldn't keep his hands and lips from Loki. He groaned frustrated as a ringing warned they had arrived the desired floor and exited to the hallway. As soon as Loki turned the key in his door apartment, Thor practically pushed him inside so he could drown in the lawyer's touch. Both had completely surrendered to the mad desire of having sex, kissing and caressing eagerly. Their clothes were stripped off while they fought their way through the apartment, clothing flying around on the floor while they clumsily bumped against furniture on the way to the bedroom.

Thor fell on his back on the soft bed and the dark-haired man climbed on top of him. Loki quickly took the task of unzipping Thor's pants, while their lips and tongues never allowed any interruption. The Asgardian followed his lover's example, disposing the rest of the clothing and finding Loki's already hardened body in his hand. The raven-haired man released a contented moan when Thor indulged him with pleasure, as he rubbed his length torturously slow and soft.

Moans and labored breathing filled the air and their bodily senses were completely stirred up by the mere contact of flesh on flesh. Loki released the blonde's hand from his cock with a teasing grin, so their hands could intertwine, while their erections brushed against each other. Thor let out a groan in a mix of frustrated pleasure, for Loki's foreplay of giving and taking was driving him insane. His hands traveled Loki's skin, his fingertips needing to feel each inch of his long lost brother's body. Loki's wild responsiveness was bringing him to the edge of lust and he feared he would come even before they started.

Thor's index searched his lover's entrance. Loki winced only slightly and released his lips to grin mischievously. Their eyes were locked, while Loki slowly moved his hips, allowing the blonde's index to move inside his interior. His green gaze spoke of crazy want and desire and Thor was sure Loki could read the same thing in his eyes. There was a moment the raven-haired lawyer shifted to break his attention. Thor watched him ruffle in one of the drawers and take a flask out of it. He then took Thor's hand and moisturized his index with a cold gel. He gave the flask to him, so he could continue to apply enough lubricant on his fingers and cock, to stretch and dampen Loki's body enough to accept his dick.

It struck Thor bitterly that this man was quite experienced and the knowledge it hadn't been with him who he had learned to play the game of lust hurt insanely.

"How many times have you done this?" Thor asked, the thought his brother's reincarnation having been touched by other men before him making him sick.

"How many times have you?" Loki whispered while he licked behind his ear.

"Uhm, I lost the count." Thor answered while he shivered of excitation. _But _this _I only did with you_. He thought afterwards.

"Hum." Was all Loki replied with a grin Thor knew it meant _likewise. _

The god of thunder couldn't hold it back anymore. He needed his brother back. He was claiming him for himself and was decided never to share him with anybody else. They were supposed to be together and together they would be. Loki moved his hips with pleasure and produced the most sensual sounds while his grin and glint in his green eyes challenged the blonde. Thor desperately needed to go inside of him. He removed his fingers, not caring if the other was stretched enough or not. It was clear Loki needed this as badly as he did, so he decided just to give it to him right away. The raven-haired man emitted a strangled moan, stained with pain and pleasure. He pulled his head back, while he lowered his body slowly, so Thor's erection would go all the way in. Loki started riding Thor carefully, so his walls would get used to the feeling of Thor's cock. But soon he allowed the Asgardian to pound freely at his own pace from under him.

Thor was absolutely fascinated by Loki, his expression being one of pure lust and blissful pleasure. His hands traveled on the raven-haired man's torso, caressing his skin, pinching his nipples, stroking his dick, doing everything just to hear another high-pitched moan or groan coming out of his lips. He got himself from under Loki and guided him to go on his knees. The blonde moved aggressively, hitting Loki's prostate with more ease from behind, making the lawyer go hysterical. Thor couldn't remember ever having this kind of crazy sex with his sibling. This was crude need. It was painful, it was urgent, it was desperate. Loki lowered his body so his head and shoulders were pressed on the bed, making his back arch beautifully, while his ass was being pounded mercilessly from behind. Thor could hear from Loki's moans, that he was reaching his climax. He turned him around again and threw the raven-haired man on his back. During short seconds, Thor admired Loki's beautiful face.

His green eyes were darkened by lust, his swollen lips sensually departed, his curly hair was a mess and some strands were glued to his pale skin with rosy cheeks. Thor leaned over and kissed those tempting lips and reentered Loki's body, resulting in a groan of complaint and pleasure. The last minutes were insanely violent, as Thor banged with all the energy his body had, making Loki jolt at each violent bang. The room was filled of moans and grunts of pleasure. Loki had lost his mind completely, releasing lusty yells while his nails dug Thor's back mercilessly, scratching its skin until it bled. He pulled his head back with a final hoarse scream that was a true ode to pleasure. Thor banged a while longer into the body that slowly relaxed, his eyes never leaving his lover's happy face until he too came undone with a disgraceful guttural grunt.

…

"That was… fucking amazing." Loki said after a long silence. The males laid next to each other on their backs, panting irregularly during several minutes, cooling down after their mad ride. "I don't… I can't remember ever having this kind of sex."

"Neither can I." Thor admitted. Both turned their heads to face each other and switched amused giggles. The Asgardian was the first one to lay on his side and Loki imitated him, so they were mirrowing each other. "You're beautiful, did you know that?" Thor whispered and Loki gave a half shy, half proud smile.

"And you don't have a body of an astrophysicist." Loki said while his index travelled on Thor's torso. "You look like a god." The Asgardian laughed softly at the compliment, but part of him cried because Loki could not remember who he truly was. He watched Loki nuzzle a bit against him and close his eyes.

"You're tired." Thor stated and Loki smiled.

"I'm exhausted."

Thor smiled tenderly. He carefully pulled up the covers, making sure they wouldn't feel cold, especially Loki. He laid a while awake, watching Loki's sleeping form in front of him, listening to his deep rhythmic breathing. He kissed on his head, taking in the pleasant scent of his hair. How much he had missed holding Loki like this? How much he had felt incomplete without his brother's existence? He had to make sure the lawyer would remember his previous life so the enchantment would restore him back to who he was, to what he was. He sighed and closed his eyes. And whispered before falling asleep.

"Please remember, brother."


	17. Hopes and fears

Thor slowly opened his eyes and blinked while he woke up. The light was bright, the sun was high. He turned his head to the side. The bed was empty, but the sheets were still warm. His eyes widened when he heard a sound in the distance and quickly rose up, not even bothering to put his pants on. Thor was concerned. That was clearly the sound of somebody vomiting.

"Loki, are you alright?" Thor asked in a heavy hoarse voice.

He stopped at the bathroom's entrance, when he saw Loki bended over the toilet. Thor's face contorted at the sound of a vomiting outburst, followed by coughing and a lamenting moan. He watched with a worried look while Loki gestured him, signing he was alright. The lawyer cautiously stood up, cleaned himself by the sink, brushing his teeth, drinking and spitting water. When he was finished he turned around, looking awfully paled and sickened.

"It's just a hangover. Go back to bed." Loki calmly murmured while he walked past Thor. He threw himself back on the bed and covered himself completely under the sheets. Thor sat on the bed next to Loki, staring at the linen that covered his brother's reincarnation.

"Do you want some water? Perhaps a calming tea?" Thor offered.

"No. Just get inside the bed." Loki said in a nagging tone. He seemed to stiffen for a moment and then pulled the sheet off his face to look at the blond man. "Unless you have to go back to your affairs." Thor didn't miss the alarmed undertone and stared at his reincarnated sickened brother. He brushed some of the untidy black hair away from his face and smiled kindly.

"I don't need to go anywhere."

Thor had lied, of course. He needed to return to Asgard. He had his duty of kingship, he needed to treat all kind of political matters. But right now, he just wanted to be with Loki. He had missed him too much. He still missed him and wanted to restore his memories so badly. And especially now that the lawyer looked so weakened and vulnerable, he wanted to remain by his side and comfort him.

"Then get in the bed!" Loki ordered with a tired smile and drew Thor closer to him. The Asgardian consented with a small laugher and lay back in the bed next to Loki, who immediately curled against his body with a broad smile. Thor put his arm around the other's back, feeling blissful by the warm contact. "You are welcome to stay as long as you want to."

"I might just do that." Thor said while he caressed Loki's check, forehead and hair. Loki rested his eyes on the blonde's. He looked thoughtful and then smiled shyly.

"You weren't this shy yesterday." Thor said with a grin while he put a curly black lock behind Loki's ear. He loved the way the lawyer's smile grew simultaneously embarrassed and proud, which was perfectly adorned by a slight blush on the cheeks.

"You think I'm shy?" Loki teasingly whispered.

"I'm pretty sure you're shy." Thor said confidently. Loki's eyes never left the azure ones, while he looked a bit thoughtful for moments. He smiled while he hummed.

"Who knows, maybe I am." Loki whispered while he shifted a bit, so he laid even more comfortably against Thor. The glint in his eyes warned the god of thunder the lawyer had become curious. "I'm guessing you are not. You seem like the social type."

"You guess correct. Anything else you want to guess?"

"I doubt you are an astrophysicist."

"Oh, why is that?" Thor playfully asked.

"You are too hot for that. You have the body of a god."

"I believe you already said that yesterday night."

"I'm surprised I managed to say anything coherent yesterday night."

"Oh, you were very coherent in the language of pleasure." Thor teased, making the other chuckle. The blonde leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his lips. They locked their gazes again and Thor was surprised to already read adoration in Loki's eyes. He wondered to what point his dormant memories played a role in Loki's interest and attraction to him. Because his next words filled Thor's heart with hope.

"Can I tell you something crazy?" Loki asked his tone becoming more serious. Thor nodded curious. "It's silly actually, but - yesterday, when I first saw you, just before we entered the bar…I had this strange kind of feeling that - that I knew you. Like, there's something really familiar about you. Have I met you before?"

"Not in this life." Thor said while leaned over, so his lips could touch Loki's again. "Maybe in a previous life we were together." He whispered and pecked the raven-haired lips another few times.

"That's a nice though." Loki whispered contented, before their tongues invaded each other's mouths. Desire and lust were already feeding their minds and consuming their bodies. Thor placed his hand on Loki's neck under his jawline, like he always did and resulted in a soft moan by raven-haired man. The blonde kissed eagerly, glad there was a subconscious part of Loki that did recognize him. All he had to do was make sure Loki remembered him fully.

…

Thor and Loki had spent their most passionate weekend ever. They barely left the bed and time was invested with kisses and touches, sleep and small talks. When they did come out of the bed, it was to dip themselves in the warm water of the bath and ended up making out there too. Food was ordered so they never needed to cook. They conversations shifted from casual to deeper subjects. Loki slowly revealed bits of pieces of his past, his perception of people and the world, in a similar manner he did during their first dinner together. Thor noticed he was very cautious in his words, though. It seemed Loki was, on one side eager to share his thoughts with him and yet afraid to do so. He suspected his Midgardian persona was used to mistrust people. He knew Loki of Asgard always had. According to Karnilla, Loki's personality would remain untouched, only affected by the circumstances life offered him in this realm. So Thor decided to be patient and let the matter fall when he noticed any hesitance or reluctance coming from the lawyer.

Monday morning finally arrived and neither of the lovers was willing to depart. But Loki, always down-to-earth, reminded Thor of their duties in their jobs and the god of thunder reluctantly returned to Asgard after he paid farewell to the lawyer. He was glad Heimdall made no any kind of remarks and his eyes remained unjudging. He was the only person to ever know about their secret and now Thor knew Heimdall had made an unspoken agreement in keeping the king's newest secret. Because they both knew the god of thunder was about to lead a double life. Being king of Asgard during Loki's working hours, and the "astrophysicist" during Loki's free time.

…

Thor stood next to Loki's apartment door. He managed to shift the hours in which the Nine Realms' matters were treated by the king and his court counselors, so he could be back in Earth around seven in the evening. He knew this was a suitable time for Midgardians to return to their homes after a day of work. So, the king had traded his Asgardian outfit for a shirt and jeans and headed to the lawyer's apartment. Nobody seemed to be at home, so he waited patiently. It didn't take long for him to hear compassed footsteps, accompanied by a low melodic humming. Loki froze on his tracks when he saw the blonde. Thor smiled at the lawyer's obvious surprise.

"You're back!" Loki declared in a gasp, incredibility all present in his eyes.

"You told me I was welcome to come back anytime, if I wanted. Are you not glad?" Thor asked already knowing the answer.

"I am glad." Loki timidly whispered, his cheeks blushing while his eyes glinted in awe. "I just didn't really expect to see you again, even more, this soon."

"Why is that?" Thor asked truly surprised.

"You claimed not to have a number, so I deduced you weren't interested." Loki said in an obvious tone while he opened the door and gestured Thor to enter.

"I really don't have a phone." Thor said with a grin while the lawyer switched on the lights and closed the door behind them.

"Who doesn't have a phone? You are truly not from this world!" Thor barked a laughter, very much for Loki's contentment. The lawyer walked closer to him until he closed the distance between them to greet the blonde with a chaste kiss. "I hope you like pasta." He said before he pecked Thor's lips again and then headed to the kitchen.

...

There were days Loki would arrive home to find Thor standing next to his door. Other days, exactly at 19:07, Thor would be ringing his doorbell. The first days Loki couldn't hide the surprise when he saw the blonde, the look in his eyes always betraying his incredibility. It was like if he could not understand why the man continued seeking his company. By the end of the second week, Loki would drive back home impatiently, his heart pumping fast with the knowledge that at 19:07 Thor would be at his doorstep, but always afraid he wouldn't be. It was always one big relieve to confirm his worries were needless. On Sunday night Loki decided to give Thor his spare key.

"I'm starting to believe you are homeless, since you end up here every day, exactly at 19:07. I mean, not one minute earlier, not one later. How do you do that?"

"My working hours are very constant. And yes, I do have a home."

"Then why do you keep coming here?" Loki asked with a teasing grin and a blush on his cheeks, knowing very well the answer to that but still needing to hear it.

"I like being here."

"Really? Let me guess, it's the view, isn't it." Loki quipped while he gestured towards the window.

"Yes, I do enjoy the view here very much." Thor said in a seductive tone and Loki immediately knew wasn't referring to the city landscape and his blush grew into a redder shade. The blonde smirked at the way Loki became flushed and couldn't resist planting a kiss on the rosy skin. The lawyer smiled happily at the touch. He brushed the tip of his nose against Thor's and sought his hand. Their eyes were locked the moment Loki pressed the cold metal of the keys in Thor's hand. The Asgardian's eyes widened from some surprise.

"Since you keep insisting in coming to this address every day, you might as well make yourself at home while I'm away." Loki playfully said, but Thor could sense the fear and insecurity in the undertone. "You are welcome to come whenever you want to."

"I do plan to."

…

"Fine! Don't tell me anything about your secret life!"

Loki said upset after he vainly tried to squeeze some information out of Thor about his work, colleagues, friends, family and home address. They both sat in a café, sheltering from the cold wind outside. In just the space of three weeks they had spontaneously created a steady routine. From Monday to Thursday they would eat supper in Loki's apartment. On Friday they had dinner in some restaurant and went to a club afterwards. On the weekends, they always ate lunch late and dedicated the rest of the day for strolling, visiting expositions or events. It had become a habit to stop at a random café midway their daily excursion.

Thor noticed by the manner Loki's lips drew a thin line that he was irritated. It resided in Loki's nature the desire to know everything. The god of thunder knew it was partially interest, partially curiosity, but he also knew Loki often used his knowledge about others to his own advantage. The god of mischief had a unique manner of turning private information into his personal weapon. Of course, Thor could not tell him the truth. Loki would never believe he was a god from Norse mythology. He couldn't tell him he was king from a distant realm. Taking Loki to Asgard was too risky, at least at the moment. He was sure the raven-haired man would totally freak up. So, for now, Thor invented lies. The blonde was surprised Loki didn't insist too much on the matter. He wondered if it was because the lawyer didn't desire to have a fight in a public place. Loki sighed annoyed and looked straight into the azure eyes.

"Just promise me you are not married and have a family." The lawyer said in a flat tone.

"I am not and no, I don't have children. Why are you so insecure about us, anyway?" Thor's question seemed to have caught Loki unguarded. For moments he truly looked shocked.

"I-I…" Loki stammered. He paused and licked his lips nervously. Thor could read the hesitation in his eyes and knew he was pondering in between telling him the truth or a lie. "My relationships are always, ehm… short-lived. Very short-lived actually. Most of the times I don't go beyond a one-night-stand."

"Why is that?" Thor curiously asked and knew he had stepped outside Loki's comfort zone. He wondered to what point the lawyer was prepared to open up his heart to him. He watched as Loki shook his shoulders and grimaced. "Did you ever love somebody?"

"No." Loki honestly replied. He paused and looked at Thor. The god of thunder could tell he was still pondering the choice of his next words.

"You don't need to talk about it if you don't want to." The Asgardian said. Curiously, it was the fact he was giving Loki a choice that made the lawyer relax and feel he could trust him.

"No, it's okay. There were times, many years ago, when I actually though I could fall in love, but I'm – let's say - a rather complicated person and that was usually the reason for the other to break up." Loki paused again, choosing his words wisely. "I suppose after some bad experiences I wasn't too inclined in getting myself involved with anybody anymore."

"You push any potential lover away so you won't get hurt." Thor concluded and Loki shook his shoulders uncomfortably.

"I don't deal with rejection too lightly." Loki said with a grimace.

Thor nodded in understanding and slowly started to unravel the many layers in the lawyer, which were partially an inheritance of his dormant memories and partially consequences of his life in Midgard. The god of thunder quickly understood from the little Loki revealed that he was a lonely person. Growing up with the notion of rejection always so strongly present in his life, as the consequence of being an unwanted child; made Loki always expect to be rejected again, at any time and by anybody. This was why he kept his distance from others, why he trusted nobody and seemed to expect the worst of people at all times. His perpetual wariness was his own way of protecting himself. Thor had understood from previous conversations that Loki barely had contact with his foster family, didn't have any close friends and now Thor had just learned he never had a serious relationship. He never knew love. The god of thunder understood now why Loki was, in the beginning, always so surprised or relieved to find him standing in front of his door each evening. This was probably a completely new situation for him.

"I know it's been only three weeks, but would you be willing to give us a chance?" Thor asked and spoke in the most uncompromising tone he could wear. The last thing he wanted was to put Loki under pressure. The lawyer widened his eyes. His look was filled of fear and shock, of hope, desperate need and want to have somebody to love. He nodded and swallowed dry.

"If you are willing, then so am I." Loki whispered, his voice almost inaudible, but his words reached Thor nevertheless. The Asgardian could read the anticipation, the sheer terror, the desperate hope in Loki's eyes and his heart broke from seeing all that pain in his gaze. Thor's hands sought Loki's from the other end of the table and pressed his fingers around the lawyer's ones.

"I care for you. I want to be with you. Why do you think I keep coming back to your apartment?" Loki chuckled not of mocking despise or sarcasm as he often did, but from awe and blissfulness. The god of thunder felt a gentle warm squeeze around his hands.

"Where have you been all my life?" Loki asked, looking beautifully happy.

"Waiting for you."

…

Loki hadn't been kidding when he told Thor he was a complicated person. The god of mischief always had been, but his Midgardian version was so broken, so fragile that Loki became easily suspicious to extremes so he often behaved restlessly and fidgety. The slightest change in Thor's tone, gesture or routine was enough to put Loki in the edge of his nerves. In addition, the lawyer was even more hot-headed than his brother had ever been. There were moments that the god of thunder thought he would completely despair with Loki's sudden outbursts. He was desperate in finding ways in restoring his reborn brother's memories back, but Loki, instead of remembering them acted irritated and jittery, like if the situation would annoy him instead of recollecting a familiarity.

After living one and a half month together, the tension that often existed but was always repressed, avoided and forgotten, finally escalated. It happened the day Thor came home hours after Loki. The king of Asgard was held back by his duties, and despite of trying his best in getting things fixed as quickly as possible, he only managed to travel to Earth four hours later than usual.

"Where the Hell have you been?!"

Thor had expected Loki to be upset, but he never had expected him to be this angry. He could see in the glint of his eyes, the knitting of the brow, the tensed jaw that the raven-haired man was wild, absolutely outraged. Before he had time to explain the reason for his delay, Loki was already scolding mindlessly. Words were thrown at him with the power of swords and daggers, attacking him with irrational accusations and silly insults. The god of thunder had been taken aback by this infuriating rant, and was initially so shocked, that he didn't even manage to process what was being yelled at him.

"What the Hell is the matter with you?! There's no need for you to be screaming at me like that! And what the fuck are you ranting about?!" Thor angrily yelled back. He immediately cursed his stupidity. He should have known by now yelling back at Loki only made things much worse. Alas, Thor had done nothing else but react at the violent greeting.

"Nonsense? _Nonsense_?!" Loki asked with his teeth clenched. Thor recognized the same mad fury in his eyes as the day he returned to Asgard after his short banishment and felt instantly intimidated by the lawyer's fury. "You could be lying dead on the side of the street and I wouldn't even know because I know nothing about you! No address, no friends, no relatives, no phone number, no social security number! No fucking nothing!"

Thor stared frozen at Loki, who was panting from his wild shouting. The Asgardian finally understood what was going on. Loki's aggressive behavior towards him was a reaction caused by fear. He looked better at the lawyer and only now did he notice how he pale actually was, the slight pink around his eyes and how his green orbs shone bright, not from anger but because he was in the edge of tears.

"Loki, you need to trust me."

"Trust you?! How can I trust you when you refuse to tell me the truth about you?!"

"Loki, I'm not lying to you."

"Yes you are! Your name doesn't appear in any civil registries! It's like you don't exist! Who the Hell are you?!" Loki finally spat the interrogation he had been holding back for weeks.

"Look, I'm sorry Loki. I wish I could tell you where I am during the day, what I am doing, how I am doing..." Thor calmly said. He should have known that Loki would make some background investigation about him at some point. The Asgardian was glad that, in the past, he had been registered under his alias name and S.H.I.E.L.D. always had kept his participations in saving the Earth top secret. "I wish I didn't need to be so secretive about everything. But nobody is supposed to know about my work, not even you. One day you'll understand why." Thor saw Loki shake his head in disbelief and was about to protest but the blonde rested his hand on the lawyer's neck and forced him to gaze into his eyes. This seemed to mellow Loki a bit. "But know this. I truly care for you. All the things I've said to you are true. Please, just give me a chance."

Loki looked into the azure orbs and observed Thor's expression. He knew in his heart the blonde was telling him the truth. But all the secrecy drove him insane and there were still too many questions wanting to be answered. Loki took a deep breath and felt himself slowly calm down, so he could think clear again. Thor was back, alive and unharmed. He was there with him, wanting to be with him. And Loki knew too well there was nothing else he wanted from this world but that. This fact alone was enough for him to feel happy. To feel complete. So, he nodded silently and allowed Thor to hold him in a sweet embrace.

"You scared me." Loki finally confessed, while he rested his head on his lover's shoulder.

"I know. And I'm sorry for that. But you need not to worry about me. If anything should happen to me, I swear you'll be the first one to know." Thor reassured and Loki lifted his head to give him a wary look, although he seemed to accept his words. "Please, just don't get yourself all worked up each time I come later. I'll avoid it as much as I can, but sometimes I just can't."

"All right. But you'll have to compensate me now. I've been worrying sick about you."

"How about a full length massage?" Thor asked, knowing how well that worked for Loki. He actually felt his brother's reincarnation's shoulders relax. Loki placed a kiss on his neck.

"You better be good with those fingers."


	18. Dormant memories

Thor entered the apartment and was surprised to find a bottle of whiskey on the kitchen counter. He was perplexed because the bottle was half way down, while he knew Loki only drunk wine during the week. He could not imagine him having visitors either, considering how anti-social he was. The god of thunder paced further in the living room and felt apprehensive, sensing something must be going on.

"Loki?" He called out. "Loki, are you home?" He heard some rustling coming from the bedroom and Loki appeared from behind the door. Thor's heart skipped a beat when he saw how pale Loki looked. He walked over the raven-haired man and as he came closer, he saw how terribly tired and sickened he looked.

"Hi." Loki whispered softly. The way that single word had been spoken, so meek and so shaky, was enough for Thor to know something very wrong was going on.

"Loki, what's the matter?" He asked while he rested his large hands on Loki's shoulders. The lawyer lifted his eyes to meet Thor's. He looked so lost, so frightened. "What happened?"

"N-Nothing." Loki said in a chocked voice and Thor felt the more confused. The way the lawyer's eyes reflected fear was terribly unsettling. "I-I woke up today with this strange feeling and it only keeps getting worse. I couldn't work so I left earlier a-and, ehm, and I tried to calm down with the whiskey but it only made me feel even worse." Loki brushed some of his hair nervously away from his face, his fingers trembling. He stared at an invisible spot in the room, looking quite distressed. Thor gazed at him with compassion and an unfamiliar pain pierced his heart as he understood what was going on. "I-I don't really have a reason to be nervous – but I just can't help it. I just fell so horrible! I feel so sad and I don't even know why. No - it's -it's like I know why I'm feeling sad but I can't remember why!" Loki tried to explain, his eyes tearing. Thor looked at him aggrieved and carefully wrapped his arms around Loki. "It makes no sense at all! I don't understand what's going on, Thor! I-I only know that this pain is getting worse, this sadness and I…. and I-I can't control it, I can't understand…"

"Shhh. It's okay. I've got you." Thor softly shushed the lawyer while he caressed his back. "Come, go lie down a bit." He said while he guided Loki back to the bed. Loki released a shaky pained breath and his green eyes revealed panic during some seconds. Thor laid next to him and gently caressed Loki's face and hair, kissed his pale skin.

"I'm scared. I-I feel like I'm going crazy." Loki confessed in a choke, the first tears escaping his eyes.

"You're not crazy. You're okay. I'm here with you now. I got you." Thor whispered in Loki's ears while he enveloped him again in his arms and tried to give him all the warmth and comfort he could.

"It's not okay! I feel like I-I'm mourning for somebody, but I don't even know who!" Loki said in a panicked sob, while his fingers dug urgently in Thor's material, grasping for closeness, desperately seeking protection.

Thor kissed his head and continued patiently comforting Loki the best he could. He had to fight his tears back. He knew why Loki was crying. He knew why he was confused and terrified for not understanding the reason of this grief. Loki could not remember because his memories were hidden somewhere in a remote place in his mind. Because Loki was mourning for himself. It was exactly 132 years ago that the god of mischief took the decision of sacrificing himself. Thor remembered Karnilla's words about _dejá-vu _moments, but he understood it was much deeper and intense than that. The lawyer was probably reliving Loki's feelings from that tragic day. The fear mingled with bravery, the sorrow mingled with regret. The farewell. But Loki Winter could not remember, could not understand and instead he panicked.

…

It took about an hour for Loki to finally calm down. His breathing stabilized, he loosened his grip, he ceased weeping. The lawyer gently sat up, while he released a shaky sigh of relieve and Thor stared at him expectantly.

"It's gone." Loki said surprised and clearly relieved. "That horrible feeling is gone." Thor sat up too, rested his hand on Loki's cheek and planted a sweet kiss. "I'm so sorry. I troubled you…" Loki apologized but Thor cut his words with a kiss on his lips.

"No Loki. You are not apologizing for this." He quietly whispered and pressed his temple against Loki's.

"It's silly. I don't even know why I was crying." Loki whispered back, closing his eyes and relishing the sweetness of Thor's incredible patience. "You must think I'm crazy."

"No I don't." Thor reassured and kissed Loki while his heart bled at the lawyer's broken voice. "I don't think you are crazy."

"I really don't understand where you get all that patience from." Loki confessed. "But I'm glad you do." The god of thunder smiled at the other man's sincere gratitude. Loki laid back down on the bed and Thor bended over to look better at his reborn brother. He looked so beautiful in his vulnerability, his eyes glinting the last reminiscences of fear but also giving way to gentleness and trust.

"I love you." Thor whispered. The words flowed freely and spontaneously from his mouth, before he could even realize what he was saying. Loki's green eyes widened from utter surprise. The god of thunder smiled affectively and caressed the other man's skin. A marveled gasp escaped Loki's lips, while his eyes stared at the blonde with awe. He gently pushed Thor closer to him, so their lips could meet midway.

"And I love you." Loki whispered fearless and Thor's heart contracted from both cruel happiness and painful sorrow.

The love was there. Thor knew Loki had all the feelings his brother had for him. And a new kind of trust had developed between them. But the memories remained dormant. Thor had Loki and yet, he wasn't really Loki. The lawyer's confession made him completely desperate, needing to translate his decades of desolation and loneliness. He wanted to kiss his brother's reincarnation madly, to make crazy love with him, to rip his body with torturous pleasure. It made him completely desperate, needing to have his brother fully back. He wanted to scream, to tell Loki all the truth about who they really are, about Asgard, about the god of mischief's cruelties and his ultimate sacrifice. But the king of Asgard did none of this and instead he held Loki closely against his body, relishing the warmth of this living mortal body.

…

"Thor, I need to tell you something important." Loki stated gravely after they tidied the dishes in the cupboard. He took a seat and gestured Thor to do too. There was a short tense pause, like if he was summoning the courage to continue. "The panic attack I had yesterday. It was not the first time." Thor's eyes widened greatly from surprise at the revelation. The raven-haired man bit his under lip softly before he continued. "Although, it never happened as strongly as yesterday." There was an awkward pause, as if Loki was losing the courage to tell further what was in his mind. Thor nodded silently, encouraging him to go on. "You should know I've been suffering from high anxiety episodes since I can remember. As a child I often had nightmares and the feeling of threat would persist during long hours. When I reached puberty, the anxiety grew stronger, to such a point I would panic in a similar manner as yesterday. It got so bad, I had to undergo treatment. I was diagnosed with depression and chronical anxiety. It was only when I was at college that it diminished and I stopped taking anti-depressives."

"You think you need to go back on the medications?" Thor's question was more of a statement and Loki nodded.

"I've learned to live with anxiety. It's always there, constantly present, but in a controlled level. However, lately, let's say, the last few months, it's been becoming worse."

Loki uneasily explained and Thor came to the bitter realization that it were the memories that wanted to be awaken that were provoking the anxiety. He found himself cursing internally as he found himself stuck with a dilemma. Should he persist in bringing Loki's dormant memories to the surface, it would mean the lawyer would have to suffer even more from his depressions and anxieties. The real question was, how much crude distress had Loki to undergo before his memories would be finally restored. Should Thor stop creating all kinds of familiar situations and avoid Loki's memories to return, his brother would never return. He would remain as Loki Winter, a fragile mortal with a cruelly short lifespan. A heartbeat. He would lose him all over again. He would lose him in the same way he lost Jane. He would have to go through all that suffering again. And Thor didn't think he could survive that another time.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that all alone in the past." Thor said after a short pause. He had made his decision "But you are not alone anymore. You have me and you can rely on me. You do know that, don't you?"

"Yes." Loki said with a soft smile. "I know that."

Thor could tell the lawyer was being both sincere and thankful. He though it was ironic that the last thing he wanted was to hurt Loki, and now he knew he had to put him through Hell to achieve his goal. He wondered if this made him a cruel selfish person. To not allow his brother's soul to rest eternally and instead force him to reincarnate. Make him live an even more difficult life than his previous one, alone, rejected, unbalanced. All this, so he could have him back.

"Thor." Loki's voice brought the blonde back from his musings. The god of thunder redirected his gaze on the green ones and could read the love in them. "You are the first person to not judge me for anything. I want to thank you for that."

"Why should I judge you?"

"Why shouldn't you? After all, that's what the rest of the world does. But then, the rest of the world doesn't particularly _love_ me." Loki said with a knowing smile on his lips. He paused looking somewhat thoughtful before he continued. "Do you know that feeling that something is wrong in your life but you can't quite pinpoint it?" The raven-haired man asked. "All my life I knew I was missing something and without that something, my life simply wasn't complete." Loki licked his lips and repressed a chuckle at Thor's expectant expression. "When I laid my eyes on you the very first time, I instantly knew I loved you. That I had loved you all my life, even before meeting you. When I first met you, it was like I had been waiting all my life for that moment. Waiting for you." Thor smiled widely at Loki's words, his blue in his eyes becoming deeper and brighter from the happiness that filled his heart. Loki did remember him. Just not the way he wanted. "We belong to one another. We will never be happy any other way or with any other person. Because when we are together, we become one."

Thor blinked a few times. He was marveled with the lawyer's words, marveled with the results of this cursed spell, marveled with the tragic nature of their relationship. If only Loki knew. The god of thunder let himself drown in the blissful glint of the clear eyes. It was seldom when Loki exposed his real self to others. The raven-haired stood up from his seat and walked to Thor, leaning a bit so he could greet in a sweet kiss. They stared in each other's eyes.

The air was caught in Thor's throat with what he saw in the green orbs. He saw Loki the way Jane had once saw him. He saw what Frigga had always had seen in her son. Thor saw his soul, his being, his essence. The fears and pains he carried since his difficult childhood. The insecurity, the longing and the loneliness developed during his teens. The unfulfilling need to be cared. The desperate wanting to be loved and to share love. Thor understood Loki's real nature. He saw the real persona hidden concealed under layers of lies and deceits, built up as strong defensive walls, in order to protect himself from others. Thor saw the good in him. The god of thunder kissed Loki back passionately and desperately needed him to know he wasn't alone. He never was.

"Loki, I've been loving you all my life. I've been loving you even before you were born." Thor confessed, his words filled by this painful truth.

The burning confession stirred the raw emotions inside Loki and just for a few seconds, both his heart and his mind told him he and Thor had already spent an eternity together. But his common sense told him it only had been four and a half months since they first met. And so he shook this strange thought away, the strong sense of sureness and familiarity until it faded away and remained securely guarded in a remote place of his mind. Loki allowed Thor to guide him to the couch, while Thor spoke his name, over and over again, confessing his love for him like a mantra, like a marvelous magical spell.

Thor's body became impatient and he quickly removed their clothes. He needed to _feel_ Loki. He needed to be one with Loki's soul. The raven-haired lawyer emitted a satisfied moan when Thor entered him and indulged him with the most marvelous feelings that kisses, caresses and touches could offer. They danced a passionate love dance, like the tango, filled with slow intense kisses and caresses, filled with passionate and violent poundings, backed up by their singing of low satisfied moans, to lusty groans and hysterical notes. Both men were immersed in desire, their hearts exploding from the longing, the touches never being enough, always wanting more, to be closer and deeper in each other. Loki released a series of desperate moans while he widened his legs completely. He allowed Thor to bang him insanely, while he lived the reminiscences of his orgasm in the last powerful thrusts. Thor finally released a moan as his body relieved itself inside of Loki. They held each other for a long while, after their breathing and heartbeat had normalized, with their limbs still wrapped around each other.

"I want to grow old with you." Loki whispered next to Thor's ear. The god of thunder's heart jumped unhealthily inside his chest. These words had already been spoken centuries ago. A confession sealed by a promise he managed to carry out. He could tell Loki was starting to remember, slowly, subtly in an unconscious manner. Thor smiled knowing it was a question of time before the recollections would finally return fully and then yes, they could grow old together. He placed a kiss on his lover's head.

"We will grow old together, Loki. I'll even defy death to be with you." The lawyer released a chuckle at the impossible vow. Nevertheless, he somehow believed Thor.

"I bet you will."

…

Loki drove back from one of his clients' home to the Courthouse. The interview had shed a new light in his case and he had already contacted Kim to meet him so they could analyze further the evidences together. He involuntarily smiled as he felt proud about Kim's latest progresses. She had acted awkwardly shy, nervously clumsy and excessively formal during the first month of her internship. Loki had not spared her one single day, picking on her constantly. He was demanding, severe, horribly ambitious and a real pain in the ass towards her. Until the day Kim, instead of breaking down with a crying fit (as Loki had expected) actually stood up her ground and the nicest thing she told him was to _fuck off._

Kim had been completely confused when the lawyer, instead of being infuriated (as she had expected) had happily cheered her outburst and congratulated her emancipating behavior. The intern quickly discovered Loki had a twisted and sadistic way of teaching "survival" in the hard world of competition, opportunism and back stabbing. She discovered he had acted as a real monster with the sole purpose of helping her. The young woman was sure her boss was completely insane and should be locked up in a psychiatric center; but the reality was that he was a genius and one of the best lawyers in London. So, from that day on, Kim forced herself to learn her boss' astute ways and soon realized, he wasn't all that bad. She would like to think they could one day become friends, although she highly doubted it, considering how unorthodox Loki was.

As for Loki, he showed more respect towards his intern from that day on but continued pushing her over the edge. He was proud because Kim had, beyond all expectations, quite a backbone and was learning to handle better and easily even the most difficult of challenges. Loki was confident Kim had all the needed assets to become a professional lawyer. He once had to laugh hard at Thor's silly suggestion that he cared for Kim and that they could actually become friends. The thought was too amusing, especially considering the world they were in. Loki was very well aware that, now that Kim's internship had ended and despite her choice in continuing working for him as an assistant, within time she would become his rival. She would do everything to win her case, even if it meant she had to walk over him. He knew that, because that was exactly what he was teaching Kim.

Loki's musings were suddenly broken when he saw, at the end of the road, a very familiar figure cross the street. He would recognize Thor anywhere and wondered what he was doing in this neighborhood. Loki became curious and saw this as a chance for finally discovering something about Thor's annoyingly secret job. He stopped the car and watched the blonde enter a building. This was his queue to park the car and follow him. Once in the building's hall, he saw the lift had stopped on the 6th floor. So he took the lift to the fifth and took the stairs for the last part. He smiled as there were only three doors, knowing Thor was behind one of them. Loki hesitated, as he pondered to knock on the doors one by one until he would discover in which one his lover was in. Fortunately, the decision was made for him. He heard a sound and quickly hid behind the wall when he saw Thor step out of the apartment in the middle. The blonde headed to the elevator and Loki could see that he looked down, his face was sad and tired. He looked old, very old. Loki's heart skipped a beat when the strange thought filled his mind, telling him Thor was centuries old. He shook the thought away, as a new wave of the familiar but unsettling anxiety filled his chest. Thor was gone in the elevator and Loki took several breaths to calm down. After a few moments, he stepped out his hiding place and smirked when saw the lift was back on the ground floor. This was his chance. Loki was going to discover what was behind that door. He finally would learn at least one secret from Thor.

…

Thor stepped out of the building with a heavy heart. Visiting this place always hurt insanely, as it stirred up many memories from his past. But as painful as it was, this was something he sometimes needed to do. It was his way of dealing with his suffering, his memories, his grief. The king of Asgard exhaled heavily while he paced slowly on the side street, his thoughts still lost in the apartment. His eyes scanned distractively the parked cars and rested for moments on a grey one he passed by. Thor stopped midway his tracks with his brow knitted. He turned around to look back at the grey car. Something in it seemed awfully familiar. Suddenly, he felt a pang in his heart. He realized this was Loki's car. Thor's eyes widened as he panicked. He did not know how or why Loki was there. He couldn't never have followed him, since Heimdall sent him straight to this street. But right now, these questions didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was that Loki had found the apartment and if the god of thunder wouldn't be quick, the lawyer was bound to find much more. With a bouncing heart, Thor ran back to the building. He had to stop Loki. He wasn't prepared. And sensed tragedy on its way.


	19. The shrine

Loki stood in front of the door. He looked from side to side making sure he was alone. He took out two small clips from his pocket, bended them with his fingers and inserted them in the door's lock. After a few concentrated seconds he heard the click and grinned. His years in the streets still proved in handy sometimes. He quietly shut the door behind him and looked around.

"What are you hiding, Thor?" He whispered to himself.

Loki stepped inside and was surprised with what his eyes met. This wasn't what he had expected. No lab, no office or working area. This was a home. The apartment wasn't very large, enough for two people to live in it and yet, he had the feeling it would already be crowded. He furrowed his brow as his eyes scanned the living room. The furniture struck him as old fashion. He repressed a gasp as he encountered a television set. An equipment he thought he would only find in museums and antique shops. _The hell, is that a …what's it called again…a DVD-reader? _The more Loki explored the apartment, the more he had the feeling he had travelled in time. Or better, the apartment had remained frozen in time. He stepped into the small kitchen. The ancient electro-domestics like the refrigerator and the washing machine were large and robust to his perception. Loki's fingers lingered the surfaces of wooden shelves, opening cupboards, finding them filled with plates, mugs and pans. But no provisions. He opened the refrigerator. It was turned off (the real question was if it even worked?) and there was no food in it.

"You don't live here." Loki concluded, more and more mystified.

He returned to the living room, this time heading to the bookshelf. He wasn't surprised to find mostly books about astronomy and physics. He picked one, opened and sough for the book's editing year. 2034. He picked another one. 1961. Another 2005... 1994...2047… Most books were between 150 and 200 years old. Loki's hand halted when he found a small photo between the books. He picked it put to look closer. All the air left his lungs and his heart started pounding insanely.

On the picture, he saw a smiling couple, both in their thirties. He had the feeling he had seen the woman's face before, but he could not really recall from where. But right now, it didn't really matter, because his eyes were fixed on the man's face. It was Thor. A strange feeling hit the pit of his stomach. The photo's paper quality, the woman's hairstyle, their clothes, it all matched the time period of the apartment's furniture. Loki desperately looked around for more photographs. He quickly found another one. This time it was a group picture, depicting four people. Thor stood tall, smiling between an elder man and a woman with glasses in her forties. It bothered him to know he had seen those faces before, but he could not remember from where. It made him feel both stressed and uncomfortable.

Loki started panting as a horrible uncontrollable distressing feeling started growing in his chest. He could feel his heartbeat increase horribly, until he could hear it pounding in his ears. The lawyer let a small afflictive moan escape as he forced his mind to tell him there was nothing to be afraid about. Because a wave of extreme anxiety was sweeping over his body and mind. It happened every time he had this kind of strong _dejá-vu_. This unpleasant sensation of close familiarity which he could never grasp, had been plaguing him lately more than they ever did in his entire life. This time the medicine didn't seem to work. Maybe it was the wrong medicine and it was worsening things. Maybe he didn't need medicine at all, like Thor had said. Or maybe he was losing control over his mind, maybe he was sick beyond treatment and was truly going mad. These thoughts invaded the raven haired man's head in a dizzying rapid speed. He bended over a desk in front of him, closed his eyes, clenched his teeth and commanded himself to calm down. But the image of the people in the picture, mainly the older man, kept popping back to his head, making him cry from distress, as something told him he knew this people, but he could not remember them. Loki felt like he was sucked and trapped in some kind of _dejá-vu _limbo and had one of his horrifying panic attacks.

He screamed and cried desperately as an uncontrollable feeling of crude impotence, of losing complete control over everything filled his mind. He fell to his knees and bended over with his hands in his head. The faces, the nameless familiar faces kept staring at him, telling him to remember. But Loki couldn't remember. After some agonizing seconds, he felt the panic finally slowly leave his mind, leaving him dizzy, panting in cold sweat, his whole body shivering from distress. While he slowly regained control over himself, Loki wiped the tears from his eyes and lifted up.

Loki took a series of deep breaths, and forced himself to look at the photograph again. He forced himself to confront his fears head on. This time the _dejá-vu _feeling remained in a low level and so did his anxiety. He looked at Thor, at the older man, at the woman with the glasses. He froze when looked better at the second woman's face. His heart started pounding fast again, this time not of panic, but because he recognized her as the same woman from the first photograph, only she had aged at least ten years. Yet Thor didn't look a day older. Feeling a new kind of dread grow in his chest, Loki's hands sought in drawers and the chaos of dispersed books, magazines and articles for more pictures. His breathing hastened as he found more and more pictures, all of them showing the same woman and Thor. All of them showing the woman in different life stages while Thor remained always the same. Loki ordered the photographs according the woman's aging stages. Her face became older, more wrinkled and her hair became white. But Thor's face remained unchanged, like if the passing of time had not had no effect on him.

"Loki."

The dark-haired lawyer turned around with a startle and a yell as he recognized Thor's voice behind him. Loki took a few strenuous breath intakes as he was in the edge of hyperventilating, starting to panic all over again, this time for very different reasons. He stared paled and wide-eyed at Thor and took a step backwards. The Asgardian looked at him with both a concerned and frightened look.

"What are you?" Loki asked the obvious question, his voice choked.

"Loki, please calm down." Thor pled while he stretched his arm in Loki's direction. But the dark-haired man winced and took a few steps backwards as fear spread in his features and in his clear eyes. He bumped against a desk behind him, making some objects fall and Thor halted immediately, afraid to scare Loki even more.

"What the Hell are you?! What is this place?! Who's this woman?!" Loki nervously demanded answers while he threw some photographs in the air, falling in the floor between him and the blond man. Thor stared at the pictures with Jane's smiling face and then his eyes redirected to Loki, whose look was one of pure fear and confusion. He opened and closed his mouth not really knowing what to say. How to explain. But soon Loki was starting to come out of his state of shock and his brains started to find the answers on their own. "You don't live here. You kept this place like a time capsule, b-because it holds memories dear to you…It's a shrine. It's a shrine for her!" He said in bitter realization.

"Jane Foster." Thor whispered the name that held some many happy memories in it. The one name that held the existence of the one woman, as brief as her time had been him, that had branded his soul forever.

"I knew I had seen that face before! Jane Foster, the astrophysicist from the Rainbow Bridge Theory! That's her, right?" Loki paused as his brains started to connect all the loose ends. Suddenly it all made sense. "You are no astrophysicist, are you? And your name is not Thor Blake either, is it? You've been lying to me all this time! You've been using her identity as your background! But why?"

"I guess to honor her memory." The god of thunder regretfully admitted. "To make it feel like some part of her still lives on." Loki gasped at the answer realizing the horror it must be to love and lose that person to some strange unnatural condition.

"A-Are you an experiment?" Loki asked, knowing perfectly well that in the past, companies like the extinct S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA had succeeded to transform human bodies, giving them super powers and even preventing warriors from aging. "Are you even human?"

"No…and no." The Asgardian knew he had to tell Loki the truth, at least about his identity. Loki was too clever to be fooled. Loki held his breath, straitened his back while he gave a frightened wary look at Thor. The god of thunder could see already the fear and the hurt filling Loki's green eyes. The king of Asgard feared he was losing Loki already. Again. And that he couldn't permit himself. "I'm from a realm called Asgard. It's another planet…"

"…outside the Solar System, somewhere in the Milky Way, connected to other eight realms by the Rainbow Bridge." Loki quickly finished Thor's explanation, his eyes shining from anger and hurt. "I remember your story from the first day we met. You don't really expect me to believe this nonsense, do you?"

"It's the truth, Loki. I am Thor Odison and my people have been watching over this realm for many centuries already. In Norse mythology, my kin are called gods." An unpleasant silence settled between the two males. Loki was staring at him with a bewildered expression. Fear, wariness and hurt all flicked simultaneously in his eyes.

"You … are a god?" Loki asked, incredibility all present in his voice. He then chuckled like if he for moments found it all amusing. A pause followed and his amused smile died while hurt filled his eyes fully. "A god?"

"I'm not really a god. I live the same life and death cycle as humans do, only it takes much longer." Thor explained. Loki averted his eyes to the side and looked at an invisible point, while he processed Thor's worlds.

"Really? And how long would that be?" Loki asked with a grave tone Thor knew to fear. The lawyer lifted his head a bit, locking his eyes with the Asgardian.

"Five thousand years." Thor feared for Loki's next words, because next to hurt, there was now also crude rage building in his eyes.

"Five thousand years…Five thousand…."Loki questioned exasperated and broke his own words. He paused while his shaky hand brushed his head. While doing so, he looked down at his side and his eyes fell by accident on a photo of Thor with a very aged Jane. He picked the photograph and stared at Thor's young face next to Jane's wrinkled one. Loki could feel his eyes swell up and his vision blurred. "You are telling me the truth, aren't you?"

"Yes." Thor mournfully answered.

"W-What are you even doing here in the first place?" Loki questioned revolted, after a short unsettling silence. He realized the impossible nature of this relationship. Understood he had been fed by a beautiful lie and now that he proved the truth, it tasted acidly painful. "What's the sense of you spending your time among us humans anyway?! What was the sense of spending your time with her when her lifetime was just a heartbeat for you?!"

"I loved Jane Foster and I regret none of the time I spent with her company." Thor passionately clarified, but Loki shook his head. The Asgardian felt a dreadful sensation run through his body when he saw the look of pity, sorrow and loss reside in Loki's watery eyes.

"And watch her grow old until death claimed her, while you remained young and fit?" Loki's voice was almost whisper but it had the power to defeat the almighty Thor, because it held so much compassion in its tone. "You truly believe it was pleasant for Jane? To know you were witnessing time consume her body while you were perpetuated in the prime of your life? You think it was pleasant for her to know she would live her life fully with the presence of her loved one but knowing yours would persist in a lonely existence filled with the regret of loss?" Loki questioned and Thor stared shocked at him. Yes, those were thoughts that had crossed his mind many times. It was a fear that had consumed him since the day he decided to dedicate his life to Jane's brief existence in this world. And he had asked those questions to Jane too. Which she always answered with a gentle smile to not worry and dwell in such sorrowful matters.

"She may have suffered with that knowledge, but she was happy. She knew I had chosen that path and she was grateful for it." Thor calmly said. There was a quiet stretching pause and Thor could hear Loki exhale deeply.

"Your choice…"

"It was her choice too." At that moment Loki lifted his eyes and read the plea and hope in Thor's. He understood what the blond man was asking him. What he was hoping and expecting from him. But he wasn't Jane Foster.

"Do you really think _I want_ something like that?" Loki desperately asked, his tone now aggressive, as anger was fueled by pain. "How dare you come in somebody's life knowing what you seek, what you want is impossible? Knowing it will hurt both parties?"

"Loki you don't understand, I…" But Loki cut his sentence.

"No, I don't understand! I really don't! All I know is that you lied! I had the best seven months of my life! With you! And now I know they were nothing but lies!"

"You must know that I only lied about my identity. Everything else was real, Loki..." Thor reassured in a begging tone, feeling his eyes prick from the tears that threatened to be spilled. Just like Loki's eyes that shone bright from the stubborn tears that refused to escape.

"No! You don't get the point, do you? You fed me with a reality that doesn't exist, Thor! You came in my life and filled my head with dreams and bright futures while _you _knew that they would never happen! You knew it was all impossible. For god's sake, we cannot even grow old together!" Loki shouted the pain and the despair filling his heart completely. His shaky hand brushed his hair, while he looked lost. "T-This truth changes everything… I'm sorry, b-but I cannot do this. I-I cannot be one of your shrines." Loki said and immediately placed his hand on his mouth and swallowed a sob. "I have to go." He whispered in a choked voice and rushed pass Thor, pressing his body against the wall, clearly wanting to escape without any possible physical contact. Thor didn't budge and only turned around when he heard the sound of the lock.

"Loki, please. I love you." Thor pled while he stretched his arm in Loki's direction. The dark-haired man stopped for a moment, holding the door ajar and gave him a regretful look.

"I love you Thor. I love you so much! That's why I cannot do this…I'm sorry. I really am." Loki said while the first tears of goodbye escaped his eyes.

The blond Asgasdian felt his heart crumble in pieces as Loki exited the apartment and closed the door behind him. He remained moments in the same place and position, his arm still midair searching for his brother's reincarnation's reminiscences. He slowly let his arm fall to his side while tears run down his face. He fell to his knees and sobbed miserably. He released one agonizingly pained yell and afterward cried in silence. He didn't know that Loki stood with his back pressed against the door he had just shut behind him, shutting his dreams and happiness altogether with it. He had his hand pressed against his mouth, muffing the waves of sobs that rose up in his throat. His chest hurt insanely and tears cascaded freely from his eyes. He heard the desperate cry inside the apartment and closed his eyes. He walked away, stumbling down the hallway and rushing down the stairs fearing his legs would give away.

After minutes, Thor calmed down. He heard the sound of a car's engine and knew it was Loki driving away. It was over. He had failed in restoring his brother's memories. He had lost everything. Loki would remain in Midgard and live in his Midgardian vessel. He knew it made no sense in trying to convince Loki to stay with him. To give them a chance. Because he knew him this well. Like Jane, Loki would grow old in just decades until he would perish in this fleeting world. It was a cruel destiny. An unjust reality. But the reality none the less. It made no more sense in dwelling in this realm and the cruelties that accompanied it any longer.

"Heimdall. Bring me back home."

* * *

**Please, do not despair! This is not the end! I'm just a sadistic monster that loves chiffhangers...**

**Till the nex update,**

**please review :)**


	20. The accident

Thor wondered if it was never meant to be. After all, Fate seemed always to want to reunite him with his brother just to separate them again. They were after all two complete opposites, the two sides of a coin. Thor was the sun, the light and the passion. Loki was the moon, the darkness and the sense. They had little in common and so they engaged themselves in an eternal conflict of love and hatred, wounding and healing each other, every single time. He wondered if this was the real reason for their attraction. That one was so different from the other that it fascinated as much as it irritated. He wondered if this was what happened when poles collided.

Loki had broken their relationship to spare them from suffering together in a reality he considered too cruel and too painful to be endured. Yet, he had hurt both in his decision. If only he had given them more time. If only his memories had been restored. Then everything would fall back in place and he would be again blessed with a body that was resilient to time.

Maybe this was the price they had to pay for their sins. Thor could still hear his younger sibling's voice echoing in his ears. "_Everything in our relationship is wrong and yet everything in it is right_." They were brothers and they were lovers. It was the most forbidden relationship possible. And yet, it was perfect, because the love they felt for each other was so real, was so pure, it was everything. A love that survived all their quarrels and even death.

How many times had he lost Loki? How many times had he forgiven his younger brother, given him new chances? How many times had Loki let himself be seduced back to Thor's comforting arms, deceiving both of them into believing they would find a way and be happy together? Until Loki and yet, not really Loki, broke this exhausting cycle for once and for all.

Even as complete strangers, they were not meant to be together.

…

"How is he?"

Every evening, when the sun set down and the shadows of the night covered Asgard, Thor would head to the Bifröst. Every day he would ask the same question and every day Heimdall would give him an answer. The sentry kept his vigilant eyes on Loki at all times, just like Thor had requested. He could watch him while he saw all other things happen in the universe, from the birth of a small new leaf to the explosions of dying stars. And so, Heimdall followed Loki in his daily life.

He watched how Loki kept all his inner suffering to himself. How he hid it from the rest of the world with a mask of coldness and indifference. How he would only release his sorrows when he was alone, in the solitude of the home that was haunted by the memories of happy days and passionate nights. During the first days Loki barely ate and barely slept. At night he cried himself into sleep, curled in his bed, lying next to Thor's empty and untouched bedside. There was a time Heimdall thought Loki would whether call back for Thor or chose to take his life by his own hand, because he witnessed the way he walked in the edge, in the verge of collapsing anytime. Kim was the only one to notice something was wrong, as she was the person with who he interacted the most. But Loki was a master of secrets and all attempts to squeeze the truth out of him were unsuccessful.

"He's grieving." Heimdall would answer the first weeks after the break up.

One day the tears finally dried out. Loki then entered in a passive depressive state. He could sit on a wooden bench for hours, after work, staring at the Thames and its calm waters until the air became unbearably cold. He could sit in a hot bath, staring at the white tiles during long hours until the water was long cold. And so, one day he got sick and went to work with a fever. After almost collapsing in his office, Kim drove him back to his apartment and took care of him. His assistant knew it was more than the flu that tormented the lawyer and her suspicions were confirmed when Loki would call out for Thor during his feverish dreams. Kim became his safe harbor and stayed in his apartment till he got better.

"He has a friend helping him out." Heimdall would answer two months after the break up.

Heimdall witnessed a change in Loki and Kim's interaction after his illness. They became closer by the day. If there ever existed a small sparkle of friendship between boss and assistant, it then flourished into a beautiful friendship. Soon, this friendship would evolve into something bigger, stronger and wonderful. Heimdall witnessed the day Loki kissed Kim late at evening in the office, when almost everybody had gone home. The professional ethical rules were broken as the two became lovers. Loki found a new happiness with Kim. His spirit and his heart slowly healed with the company of the young woman. And so the memories of Thor became easier to bear.

"Loki has found happiness." Heimdall would answer in the third, the forth and the fifth months after the break up.

Unfortunately, the lawyer's traumatic past, difficult character and wounds caused by Thor stood in the way for the couple's happiness. Loki was a closed book full of secrets and he refused to reveal them to anybody. Even to Kim. So the first arguments emerged with Kim begging him to let her him and with Loki shutting her the more out.

"Loki risks losing his happiness." Heimdall would answer in the sixth and the seventh months after the break up.

After many chances, promises and struggles, Kim couldn't handle living with a man she knew loved her, but was too afraid to give his heart to her. She ended the relationship and succeeded in getting transferred to a new office, in a different part of the city. Loki was alone again, but this time he struggled not to sink back in a deep depression. Heimdall watched as the dark-haired lawyer focused all his energy in his work, filled his time completely so there was no space to think about other things. He would work till late at night and became almost obsessive in his cases. It wasn't the rush for winning anymore that drove him, but the need to forget the solitary existence he found himself in. He also created new small habits outside work, to bring structure to his daily rhythm. He needed them to give consistency and distract him from the reality that consumed him. They prevented him from losing the hold for life and follow the path of darkness.

"He's holding on." Heimdall would answer in the eighth and ninth months after the break up.

After hearing the sentry's answer, Thor would leave the dome with a heavy heart and a polite _thank you_.

…

Thor sat on his throne, listening to the monthly reports on Asgard's Public Administration, when a guard stormed in the hall, looking quite out of breath. He quickly ran to the throne's steps, kneeled and bowed his head in a submissive manner.

"My king. Please pardon my intrusion, but Heimdall has sent me." The man quickly spoke, before anybody in the room could say anything.

"What's the matter?" Thor asked worried, while he stood up.

"Heimdall asks you to come to the dome. He said it was urgent."

"Very well. We'll postpone our meeting. I'll send you word for the new date." The king solemnly spoke while he descended from his throne. Everybody bowed politely and in reverence and left the main hall. Thor lifted his hand in the air and Mjölnir flew to it. Flying was still the fastest way to travel.

…

"You have summoned me, Heimdall." Thor spoke without greeting, as soon as he stepped in the golden dome.

"Yes I have, my lord."

"What is it? Is it a matter of security? Does Asgard face danger?"

"No, my king. Everything is peaceful in the nine realms." The gatekeeper quietly said. Thor's eyes widened greatly realizing the reason he had been called.

"Loki!"

"He had an accident in one of those Midgardian's metal chariots. I'm afraid he's in quite a bad shape.

…

Thor appeared with a powerful lightning in the middle of a long Avenue in London. He looked around and noticed it was already night. He immediately saw the blue lights flashing in the darkness ahead of him. His heart sunk when he saw, by a crossing section, two vehicles that were unrecognizable, the metal looking creased like crumpled paper. There were two ambulances on the spot and a police car. He could see the paramedics busy around the crashed cars. Thor quickly ran to the site and a police tried to stop him.

"Let me pass! My brother is in there!" He screamed panicked. The officer showed resistance, so Thor punched him, sending the man into the air and falling next to the police car unconscious.

"Hey!" His colleague yelled and pointed his gun, but Thor ignored him and ran to the paramedics nevertheless.

His heart sped up and dread invaded his being when he saw that one of the victims laid on a stretcher and was covered with a white sheet. He shoved the paramedic that was pushing the stretcher and lifted the sheet. Thor breathed of relieve, this face not being Loki's.

"This one is still alive!" The Asgardian turned his head at the voice further away.

He saw the paramedics pull out somebody from the silver car and rushed to them, ignoring the police officer's threats and the complaints of the one paramedic. Thor took two steps forwards and then he stumbled slightly when the policeman jumped on this back. With a fast twisting move, the blond warrior threw the startled officer on the ground.

"Do not try to stop me! I'll use force and you'll regret it!" He screamed furious. He then saw the terrified look on the man's face and ordered himself to calm down. "Please, he's my brother!"

The police officer stared at him still stunned but reading Thor's desperate threatening and pleading look he nodded, consenting his request. The Asgardian quickly ran to the accident scene and recognized his brother's reincarnation's features. He was paler than ever and there was blood dripping from his temple, staining his features. The paramedics were carefully pulling him out the car, from between the crushed metal.

"Brother!" Thor shouted without thinking.

"The victim is conscious!" The paramedic told his colleague, sounding surprised.

"Loki!... Brother!"

_Brother_

…

**7 minutes earlier**

Loki drove in the avenue while his thoughts were whirling around his most recent case. He stopped at the red light and unconsciously murmured the tune from the music that was playing on the radio. The light switched from red to green and he pulled into the first gear, changing into the second gear shortly after. In the corner of his eye he saw a great bright light. His heart skipped at the too late realization of what was happening. Loki heard a loud clap followed by the crushing of his body and then the world went black.

Loki woke up sluggishly. His eyes were closed and felt heavy, so heavy he had not the strength to open them. His ears felt deafened. He could hear sounds, but they felt like they were far away, and yet, a thought in the back of his mind told him they weren't. It hurt. Everything hurt. Every inch of his body hurt. He couldn't move. He couldn't hear or see. He barely could think. A vague thought crossed his mind wondering if this was how it felt to die. He felt something heavy press his shoulders. He could hear voices and discern some words…_one…alive_…He could feel a force move him, shift his body out from a bristly cage. It hurt so badly. It hurt so insanely he wanted to scream. But he had no voice. His body had become completely numb. All his body functions, all his senses refused to work…._Brother!..._Another sound in the far distance. He knew it was a familiar sound, but couldn't remember why.

_Brother!_

Loki heard the desperate cry loud and clear. It invaded his mind like a loud painful ringing. He felt his heart jolt and his eyes opened wide. Suddenly, a new strange world presented itself in front of Loki's eyes. He saw stars, planets, suns and galaxies travel in a high speed. He saw places and faces that were new to him and yet they were all familiar. Their voices filled his ears while he travelled to places he never had been before, but recognized all of them. Faces and voices flashed quickly one after the other and mingled in a confusing stir of conflicted and painful emotions, shutting his breathing, shutting his beating heart, shutting all his physical senses.

_I will not fight you, brother!_

_**You are unworthy of this realm… **_

_Where ever you go there is ruin, war and death. _

…_**You are unworthy of your title…**_

_Your birthright was to die!_

_**…You are unworthy of the love ones you have betrayed!**_

_Cast out upon a frozen rock._

_A true king admits his faults._

_**Brother, whatever I have done to wrong you...**_

_Am I not your mother?_

…_**Whatever I have done to lead you to do this…**_

_You betray me and I will kill you._

_**…I am truly sorry.**_

_You are my son._

_Brother! __**Nooooo!**_

A horrible loud crushing sound pierced his ears. A horrible frightening bright light filled his sight. Exploded in front of his eyes like one thousand bright starts, like one thousand burning suns. And then all became dark.

…

"Loki! Brother!" Thor shouted blissful as a feeling of relieve washed over his body. Loki had opened his eyes. "Don't close your eyes, Loki. Stay with me!" He begged while the paramedics carefully placed the wounded man on the stretcher.

"He doesn't see you." One paramedic told, while the stretcher was pushed inside the ambulance. "His eyes are open, but the iris keeps focusing and unfocusing. Whatever he's perceiving, it's not his surroundings."

Thor looked surprised from the paramedic to Loki. He noticed the small dot inside the clear green eyes kept growing and shrinking. The Asgardian was allowed inside the ambulance and the vehicle took off with great speed. He was asked to sit still and not interfere with the paramedic's work, since it could compromise the other man's life. So Thor obeyed and watched as they inserted needles on Loki's body, connecting them to small tubes. It broke his heart to watch Loki like this. He looked even more fragile than he already was, lying bleeding under tubes and strange devices attached to his body. A machine started showing lines moving up and down, while it emitted a repetitive peeping sound. One of the paramedics placed a strange object just in front of Loki's eyes for a few seconds and then looked to a small screen.

"Victim's name is Loki Winter, thirty-three years old. No chronical diseases or allergies. Damn! His blood type is AB negative." He picked a phone. "Will be needing blood type AB negative for transfusion on 5."

"Let's hope they have it." The other paramedic said concerned.

Suddenly, Loki's body started to spasm and the peeping sound went wild. Thor watched terrified as the two paramedics' switched rushed words he had no idea what they meant.

"He's entering in shock! We are losing him!"

One paramedic said while he injected something in Loki's vein. Thor stared from Loki's dying body to the small machine showing the moving lines. They were first jumping insanely and then they became smaller and smaller until there was nothing but a monotone peeping sound when all the lines went flat.

"Initiate reanimation with electrically induced cardiac arrest…Three…Two…One." A high pitched sound filled the ambulance before a hard clap followed, when two metallic objects contacted Loki's chest and made his body jolt.

"Again…Prepare…Three…Two…One." The same process followed with the same result. The machine was still peeping that horrible one-toned sound, the lines on the screen were still flat.

"Again…" Thor could feel his eyes prick as he witnessed Loki's death.

"…Prepare…" All would be lost.

"…Three…" No more reincarnations. No more second changes.

"…Two…" This time death would claim Loki forever.

"Brother! Nooooo!"

"…One."

Thor was silenced as, after one long second, the steady peeping sound returned to its rhythmic tune, the lines on the screen were moving again. The paramedics had succeeded in reviving him, but Loki was still not safe. Shortly after his reanimation, the ambulance stopped, the back doors were opened and the stretcher was pulled outside, the tubes and the machine all riding along. Thor ran behind the doctors in the building until a nurse stopped him.

"I'm afraid you cannot go further."

"My brother!"

"I assure you, they'll do everything in their power to help your brother. I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do but wait here." The woman said while she rested her small hand on his shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile. Thor looked around nervously and then to the woman's comforting gaze. He nodded and sat down in the waiting room. The nurse was right. There was nothing else he could do. He just had to trust in the doctors' knowledge and ability. He only hoped Loki would be strong enough to survive this ordeal.


	21. Remember

Two long hours had stretched themselves like eternity and Thor still sat on the same place, his eyes never leaving the door he had last seen Loki pass through. During these two hours Thor had never left his place. He was scared if he would move away to go to the toilet or to get a glass of water that he would miss the doctor that would come to speak to him. His heart kept beating fast and hard the whole time and his belly was hurting insanely from the nerves. He lifted his head for the thousandth time when he saw a movement behind the door. A man in a light green garb came forth.

"Is there a relative from Loki Winter here?" The man asked as he saw several faces in the waiting room.

"Yes. I am his brother." Thor said as he quickly stood up and walked to the man. The doctor gave him an awkward smile. The Asgardian's heart sunk. "Is Loki all right?"

"Yes. He's alive." The doctor said. Thor sighed relieved but his high spirits died quickly. The doctor gave him an uncomfortable look that concerned Thor. The man rested his hand on the Asgardian's shoulder and guided him away from other listening ears. "Your brother is all right. Actually… he is quite fine." The man sighed and held his charts with both hands, looking at it with an expression of disconcert. "We had to stop the operation because your brother's body started healing by itself." Thor's eyes widened in surprise. "By healing, I mean, his bones and tissues started restoring in a speed and manner…something I've never seen before. To operate him further would only damage his own natural healing process, the reason we had to stop. If his body continues this healing progression, he'll be able to leave the hospital quite soon." The doctor said with a confused smile.

"Can I see him?"

"Of course. He is sleeping. He'll be for a while, he needs his rest." The doctor kindly said while he gestured Thor to follow him.

…

Thor sat on a chair next to Loki. He held the pale hand on his. It felt warm, soft and alive. He smiled tenderly at the sleeping face of his brother's reincarnation. The scars on his forehead were clearly diminishing with the passing of hours. The Asgardian lost full notion of the time he spent in the hospital room, holding Loki's hand, listening to the heavy breathing and the machine that proved his heart was still beating. All he knew was that he witnessed the slow changes of shadows and light as a new day was born.

The Asgardian had hope. The doctor's account, the fact Loki's body was restoring itself so quickly, was an indicator it was changing back to its original body. Loki was becoming a Jotun again. This only could mean one thing. Loki had his memories back. Thor wondered if the crash had been the needed impulse to unlock Loki Winter's previous life memories and start Karnilla's enchantment. To bring Loki back to life, to his original body, powers and recollections.

At a certain point, Thor became weary. He decided to close his eyes, for just a minute. The rhythmic peeping from Loki's heartbeat in the background lullabied him until he dozed a few seconds. Or at least he thought so. Because when Thor opened his eyes again, the sun was high and Loki's bed was empty.

…

The doctors and the nurses didn't know what to say. Loki wasn't supposed to wake up this soon. They were perplexed with the astonishing speed the man's body had healed itself, in less and 24 hours. It was impossible. And yet, Loki had vanished. Nobody had seen him leave. Not one doctor, patient or security guard. Not even the security cameras. Thor left the hospital and its confused staff, knowing there was only one possible rational explanation. Loki had his memories, his body and his magical powers back. He had used an illusion spell to leave the hospital unseen. The Asgardian was now worried. What if Loki decided to fall back to his old evil habits and soon would be sowing terror in Midgard?

A part of Thor refused to believe in his fears. Loki's final words just before his death, just before his sacrifice, were those of regret and repentance. His reincarnation, Loki Winter had a gentle character, even if he pretended to be cold, distant and be indifferent to everything and everybody. He always reminded him of Loki when they were teenagers. When they were young men, innocent and naïve. His reborn version reminded him of Loki before the day he discovered the truth about his parentage, before he finally surrendered to the darkness of his soul. Surely, this all had to play a role in his reborn brother's perception?

Thor searched for hours. He went to all the places Loki frequented regularly and realized, these were probably the exact same places he was avoiding. The god of thunder should have known by now. When Loki doesn't want to be found, he won't. The skies were darkening again. At least there were no news or reports about unexplainable chaos and destruction anywhere in Midgard. Whatever Loki had been doing the whole afternoon, he hadn't been spreading ruin in this realm. The Asgardian finally decided to go to Loki's apartment. He knew it was probably a vain attempt, but he headed there nevertheless. He wasn't surprised to find an empty home. Yet, he didn't feel like leaving it. This place carried so many dearly memories of his time with Loki in Midgard. It was comforting to be here. So Thor sat down on the couch that faced the door and waited. Loki would have to return to his apartment someday.

…

Thor opened his eyes with a startle. He had dozed off again. His surroundings were dark, night had already fallen. His eyes widened expectant in the darkness as he heard the sound of a key unlocking the door. He stood up the moment the light was turned on.

"Ah! Shit!" Loki yelled startled as he had not expected to see Thor standing in the middle of the living room and got the fright of his life. He had flinched and instinctively pressed his hand on his heart.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Thor apologized. Loki took two deep breaths and straightened his back while he gave Thor an exasperated look.

"Why were you sitting in the dark?" He asked in an annoyed tone. The blond Asgardian shook his shoulders.

"I was hoping you would come home." A silence settled between them, as both Thor and Loki realized his phrase had a double meaning. The raven haired man's face softened and he even looked a bit guilty. He silently closed the door behind him and faced Thor hesitantly. He looked a bit lost and Thor grew concerned. "Loki?" It was a question filled with the heaviness of uncertainty. Because a part of him still feared Loki's memories remained lost. The lawyer looked at him first with an unfamiliar passivity, like if he needed some time to process Thor's words.

"Yes." Loki spoke with a soft smile, his tone unmistakably telling Thor he was Loki of Asgard, the Sorcerer, the Deceiver, the Weaver of Lies, Laufeyson, adopted son of Odin and Frigga. Thor's brother. He took a few steps and closed the distance between him and the blond god, while his eyes never left the blue ones. "Yes." He repeated in a half giggle and carefully put his arms around Thor and gently embraced him. "I remember."

Thor felt Loki gently rest his chin on his shoulder, while his hands carefully enveloped his back, so cautiously, it felt like the touch of a ghost. The god of thunder was breathless for moments. His heart pounded hard and quick inside his chest, his brother's words burning his ears, the revelation being processed by his brains. _I remember_. How long had he waited to hear those words, how long had he needed to feel this comforted? To feel his brother and know it was him, his lover, his best friend, his confident. To be with his brother without any past grudges, without being wary for any deceits of betrayal. For moments, the king of Asgard was petrified. The emotions were so overwhelming, his brains and body seemed not to react. Loki, sensing no kind of response from his brother, swearing he wasn't breathing, backed a bit so he could face Thor, his hands never leaving his back.

"Thor? Are you okay?" Loki asked concerned, a small hint of fear in his eyes.

Thor blinked, like if he woke up from a strange dream and realized, for once the reality was better than any sweet dream. He looked in his brother's green eyes and lifted his hand, so it touched his jawline and neck, like he always did. He watched with awe as Loki's face lighted slightly in a smile, like a small sparkle before producing a warm flame. Thor gasped in a soft chuckle and Loki's smile grew in a rare sincere way. The emotions were overwhelming. One hundred and thirty-three years were nothing. A mere heartbeat. But it had felt like a horrible torturous eternity. Thor's soft chuckle transformed into a blissful giggle that quickly gave way to tears of joy. Before he knew it, Thor was holding Loki close and tight against his chest, sobbing on his younger brother's shoulder, while he laughed at the same time. Thor could feel all the anxiety, uncertainties and fears that had haunted him over one hundred years be released and he savored the tender feeling of his sibling's warm voice in his ear, while his hands caressed his back.

"I'm sorry, Thor." Loki whispered in a chocked voice, his own tears pricking his eyes. "I'm so sorry I made you go through all of this. I'm a fool." The raven haired prince gently spoke while he kissed Thor's cheek several times, his long fingers leaving his brother's back to wipe the tears away. He cupped the blonde's face on his hands, kissed his lips while Thor calmed down and pressed his forehead against this brother. "I'm sorry."

"I love you." Thor uttered in a shaky voice, the emotions intense in his heart and speech.

"I love you." Loki whispered back and their lips met in a soft but desperate kiss. "I always did, even when I tried to kill you."

"I know."

"How can you forgive me for that? I was so mad...I was cruel…I-I..." Loki said in a shaky voice and Thor broke his words with a passionate kiss.

"You were lost." Thor said and Loki gave him the most loving look he ever gave him, glad his brother was more than forgiving, he was comprehensive.

The god of thunder stared at his brother's beautiful features and knew Loki had finally thrown all his defenses away, all his fortified walls of illusions and lies. Thor realized Loki finally had the courage to just be himself. After all these years, he wasn't afraid of revealing his real persona to him in all his sincerity. The king of Asgard had had glimpses of Loki's essence, but it were in moments his brother was so vulnerable that he was too weakened to keep up appearances. This was the first time Loki was exposing himself voluntarily.

"Now you _see_ me, brother." Loki whispered and Thor saw both the prince of Asgard and the lawyer in his eyes. He saw the love and the sincerity. And he could not hold it back anymore.

Thor kissed Loki passionately. The kiss was responded with the equal share of desperate need. They held each other closely and tight, so tight, like if they were afraid the other would suddenly vanish. They kissed for a very long time, their fingertips caressing their faces, their fingers brushing their hair, their hands stroking their backs. They had to break the kiss to breathe some precious air, but their lips quickly indulged the other by planting dry kisses and hot licks under the jawline, on the ear, on the neck. Loki professed his love for Thor during the caresses and the god of thunder couldn't hold back any of his despairing needs any longer. Loki released a started yell, when Thor lifted him up in bridal style, very much for the younger sibling's horror, who started complaining revolting words and curses. Thor muffed the vicious insults with a kiss, while he laid Loki on the bed.

"Don't you _ever_ do _that_ again!"Loki yelled furious, once Thor released his lips, his eyes darkened and his cheeks red from embarrassment.

"You're so cute whey you get yourself all worked up like this." Thor said with an adorable smile, worsening his brother's mortification, who grew even redder, when the god on thunder caressed his pink cheeks.

"I'm not cute!"

"Oh yes, you are. You are heavenly cute and you only make me want to ravish you the more." Thor whispered, while he unbuttoned Loki's shirt and unzipped his pants (clean and immaculate, he wondered where his brother got his clothing).

The raven haired prince felt his whole body get warm from both shyness and desire. Thor grinned, thinking it was such an unbelievable accomplishment he still managed to make Loki shy, after all the times they have been together. The god of thunder nibbled softly one of Loki's nipples, while his fingers played with the other, causing a faint moan form the younger sibling. The earlier passion gave place to a gentle foreplay, the sweet caresses and touches slowly building up the bodily tension. Loki meowed softly between his strenuous breathing and closed his eyes relishing the sensational feeling of his brother's lips, tongue and teeth on his skin. Thor smirked at his brother's delightfulness, the soft sounds he produced arousing him more than any erotic scream ever could. He planted a trail on kisses down Loki's chest to his belly. The god of mischief arched his back with an almost silent moan, his fingers grasping the sheets under him, relishing the sweet and arousing indulging. Thor continued torturing him with pleasure and teased him by rubbing his growing erection against Loki's, resulting in both their breathing becoming harder and deeper. Thor loved to watch the way his younger sibling pulled his head back in delight, while gasped excited, a smile of contentment hanging on his lips.

Loki's hands found their way in disposing of his brother's hauberk (and wondered if nobody found it strange he was walking around dressed like this in the hospital) while they continued engaging in this sensual foreplay of teasing touches, feeding the lust between them. Thor's fingers found his brother's entrance and carefully slipped in, one after the other, stretching the tight walls, rubbing the warm interior, stimulating Loki until it became unbearable for him to hold it any longer.

"Please, go inside of me!" Loki begged in a whisper, while his hips lifted, indicating he was more than prepared to receive his brother's body.

They moved slowly at first. Thor, being more than familiar with Loki's body and reactions, gave the needed time for the tight entrance to adjust itself. They kissed lovingly, Loki's arms and legs wrapping around his eldest sibling's back. It offered him the most wonderful feeling of security. Loki never felt this loved by anybody. Not in his life in Asgard, neither in Midgard, not even with Kim, who was the only person after Thor he actually had loved. In the same way as Thor who, as much he had loved Jane; was perfectly aware that what he felt for Loki was much more intense, much more solid and real that what he and Jane ever shared. And so, the two brothers, the two lovers, engaged in a slow and sweet dance of love and caring, whispering tender words. Their soft moans, blissful smiles, warm kisses were a true ode for love, compassed by the rhythmic movements of their hips, which became increasingly faster and harder, with Thor going deeper and deeper inside this sibling's body. So deep, he could feel himself touch Loki's heart and soul during their love making. They came practically together, the raven haired man releasing a painful yell of pleasure, echoed by his brother's moan.

They laid for what felt forever, arms and legs wrapped around each other, fingers intertwined, heart on heart. No words were spoken for a long time, the only sound to be heard was the heavy breathing of two sets of lungs, which became softer by the minute.

"Never let me go." Loki pleaded, after a long and almost perpetual silence. Thor looked at his brother's face and read fear and despair in his eyes. The god of thunder knew it was an imploration and not a request. He wondered when would Loki ever stop torturing himself with his dark thoughts. He nodded but his brother continued. "Whatever I do, whatever I say, just don't let me go. Not again, not anymore."

"I promise, brother. I promise I will never allow you to push me away again." Thor whispered and saw relieve in his sibling's clear eyes.

He sealed his promise with a kiss, finally understanding the nature of their whirling mad relationship. Thor realized Loki was cursed by his intellect. He possessed a brilliant mind, but one that became his greatest enemy. Because the raven haired prince always would find a hidden or double meaning in words and actions, he would always unravel the mysteries behind a look in the eyes or in the smallest gesture. His interpretations would plague him and feed already existing fears, making him wary about everything and everybody, until he reached the edge of paranoia. Loki's mind was always filled with doubt. Loki trusted no one, but above all, he didn't trust himself.

Thor suddenly realized his brother was always too unsure about his person. He was already foreseeing doom before something even started, because Loki never thought himself enough for anything, or better, for anybody. The god of thunder realized it had all been the fault of their father, Odin. Loki had frequently said the words that were so accurate, but those Thor had always discarded as silliness; that whatever he did, it never was good in the All Father's eyes. Being unable to ever be valued in their father's eyes had lead Loki to become the treacherous person he was. Loki was suspicious about everything and everybody. He was broken and lived with an emptiness in his heart he failed to ever fill. And so, Thor finally understood why satisfaction wasn't in Loki's nature.

"I know your lies by now, Loki." Thor said and immediately saw the fear return to his brother's eyes. He rested his hand under his jawline and smiled reassuringly. "I'll know, if you ever try to hurt me, betray me or kill me; they are nothing but lies. All I can do is apologize for not realizing this before."

"W-What do you mean?" Loki asked, looking genuinely surprised and confused.

"If you ever really had wanted to kill me, you would have, Loki. You're one of the most powerful sorcerers in the universe." Thor stated out the obvious and his brother's green eyes widened. Loki paled and stared at his brother speechless. He looked truly caught. Thor giggled at his sibling's astonishment. After some moments, Loki seemed to accept his older brother's words and smirked.

"Well, well. I guess you are not an ignorant oaf anymore." Loki said grinning and kissed his brother's lips. "I'm happy you inherited Frigga's wisdom and not Odin's."

It had sounded as a small joke, but Thor knew Loki was being more than sincere. He had to lose his brother over and over again to finally understand the complexity of Loki's character. To finally understand all the contradictions. To finally _see_ Loki like Frigga had seen. The god of mischief fooled the whole word into believing he was something, while he always had been the exact opposite. Loki was truly the Weaver of Lies.


	22. Homecoming

Thor released a long sigh of pleasure as he sunk his body in the hot perfumed water. Loki's Midgardian persona had always enjoyed a warm bath to almost abnormal extends, so it wasn't strange he had a large bathtub, large enough for the two of them sit in it together.

"Ah, I missed this." Thor said with his eyes closed while he rested his head on the cold tub's edge, sitting opposite Loki, with his legs against his brother's.

"It wasn't that long ago the last time. It haven't even been a whole year." Loki stated with a grin while he too relished the comfort of the sharing the warm water with his sibling.

"Yet it felt much longer than a year for me. Was it like that with you too?" The god of thunder asked and opened his eyes when he had no immediate response. Loki grimaced uncomfortably and Thor instinctively knew he was holding back his thoughts. "You know you can talk with me, don't you?" Loki's lips drew a faint insecure smile. He nodded, nevertheless.

"Time in Midgard is experienced very differently than in Asgard." Loki slowly spoke. "Time here is very relative, for the same amount of time can be experienced simultaneously as extraneously slow and as extremely rapid. It's incredible how one hour can sometimes be felt like an eternity and other times like five short minutes. One year. It goes by so quickly, before you know it, it has already ended. Yet, and because some many things happen during those short 12 months, it's easy to have the impression that several years had gone by. Memories of distant and recent pasts seem to blend and at a certain point it's difficult to recall if something happened during the current year or some years ago… I'm sorry, am I confusing you?" Loki asked amused as he noticed his brother brow was knitted.

"A bit yes, but I think I understand your point." Thor admitted causing a chuckle by Loki.

"Anyway, and to answer your question… To be honest, since our break-up, I lost completely track of time. I mean, I knew the dates of course, mostly because of the daily work, but I lost the notion of time itself."

"I guess you'll have to get used to Asgardian time again." Thor calmly said and Loki grimaced again.

"I guess there is a lot I'll have to get used to again." Loki said and fell silenced afterwards for some moments. "I've lived in both exile and imprisonment for so long that I no longer remember how it is to be free in Asgard. I've forgotten how it feels to be a member of the court of Asgard and act as its prince…which reminds me, what about Odin?

"Father passed away a century ago." Thor sadly said and he saw the pain cross his brother's eyes for brief moments. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I kind of expected it. He was after all already very old when I, well, died." Loki dismissed, but Thor could taste the sadness in his words. "So I'm guessing that he woke up from the Odinsleep at some point."

"He did. And he still ruled over fifty years. After Jane died, I returned to Asgard and father crowned me king shortly after." Thor explained, leaving purposely out the part Odin had awaken the exact moment Loki sacrificed himself. He didn't wish to cause more pain to his brother, although he knew, one day the whole truth would have to be revealed. For the time being, Loki knew enough.

"King Thor… I'll have to get used to that idea too, although, I kind of like the way it sounds." Loki said, while his eyebrow lifted in a in a mischievous manner. "I still have to vow my allegiance to you, my lord." He seductively whispered while he leaned over to kiss his brother's lips, for Thor's happiness. They kissed a while, when suddenly a new thought popped up in Loki's mind, distracting him completely. "You found the Book of Hel!" He stated surprised and Thor couldn't resist to giggle.

"How did you know that?" Thor honestly asked and Loki grinned his typical impish grin.

"I casted a protection spell on it a very long time ago. So whatever happened, the book could never be destroyed."

"Really? It was because of the Soul Retrieving Spell, wasn't it? You were planning in using it in case I would die, weren't you?"

"Yes. You remember that time when you promised to defy death?" Loki asked and Thor nodded, for he recalled it very well, like if it had been just yesterday when his younger brother had confessed he wanted to grow old with him. "Well, let's say you inspired me to research the possibility of indeed escaping death. It wasn't easy to get my hands on the Book of Hel, but once I got it, I kept it hidden in secret in the Great Library. Not even Odin or Frigga knew about its existence"

"Why didn't you tell me about the book?"

"You never really struck me as the reader type. I must confess, I'm surprised you went to the Library after Ragnarok."

"Well, I knew the only way to get you back was by magic. Since I knew nothing about it, I figured I would find something in the Library, even if it was a long shot. I know that is what you would have done if you had been in my shoes."

"You have truly changed, haven't you?" Loki said, sounding sincerely impressed in his words. "I remember an arrogant, reckless and dangerous boy, trying to prove himself a man. So thirsty for battle, so stubborn and blinded by his own glory, he refused to listen to anybody. I am glad you are nothing like that anymore."

"And now I thought you fell in love with that arrogant, reckless and dangerous boy." Thor said with a knowing grin, remembering how young and naïve they both were when they first admitted their feelings for each other.

"I did love that boy. I suppose I always did. You were an ignorant oaf, but your heart was at the right place. However, you did drive me crazy with your stupid bluntness. I was often embarrassed to be your family. Ironically, I later found out I'm technically not your brother... It sure explained many things." Loki eloquently said much for Thor's amusement. The blonde Asgardian chuckled and watched as his brother sat back opposite him and sink in the water till his chin. There was a pleasant moment of silence, in which Thor observed and reflected about his brother.

"You've changed too." The king of Asgard said after his contemplative moment. "You're calmer, less troubled. More in synchrony with yourself." Thor said and smiled as Loki let out an amused chuckle. "We both changed… For the better?"

"Definitely for the better."

…

Loki let himself fall back on his new bed in his new private chamber. It had been a day full of many different impressions. It all had felt very surreal and Loki had found himself often wondering if he was dreaming. Thor had been his safe haven. His deep voice or a gentle touch of his hand on his shoulder were enough for Loki to be reassured this was indeed all real. Because the realm presented to him not the Asgard he grew up in. It was a new citadel with a new palace, one that did imitate many of its original structures, but with a new touch, a new interpretation. Then there were the people. For the first time in his life, Loki was received as the true prince of Asgard, as a hero, welcomed with loud cheering by Asgard's citizens. There was music and dancing, flowers and festive decorations, a lot of food and drinks, but above all there was happiness. Loki was overwhelmed by this reception, feeling loved and welcomed in his home for the first time since a small child. He was so overwhelmed, that he had often fallen quiet and speechless during the day. One of those moments was when Sif and the Warriors Three welcomed him with sincere smiles and friendly pats.

"What happened? Silver tongue turned to lead?" Volgstagg teasingly asked, while he friendly patted Loki's back a little bit too hard.

Volgstagg had expected the raven haired prince to speak something witty in return, something manipulatively eloquent the moment he would see them. Instead Loki had just stood there with a bewildered expression stamped on his face, staring at the four warriors like if they all had grown two heads. Everybody, except for Loki (who was still processing Thor's friends were actually happy to see him) laughed at the older warrior's quip. It was only after Thor rested both his hands on his shoulders that Loki woke from his daze. It was then that the silver tongue returned.

"You will excuse me if I expected to be greeted with a sword pointed to my neck." Loki's poisonous words rolled out his lips smoothly and he felt Thor's finger's press on his shoulders as both warning and plea, before releasing him.

"I-I wouldn't dare to do that now. I mean, you died to save us all." Volgstagg honestly said and Loki's grin faltered, giving way to a half sorrowful smile that wasn't missed by the older warrior. "You've changed. You are no longer…well, you know."

"Evil." Loki gravely whispered and Volgstagg closed his mouth awkwardly, realizing he had used the wrong wording.

One single word had been enough for Loki to retreat to his defensive stance. There had been a short moment when a glint of hope shined strong and bright, but it had been too weak to survive. Volstagg chain of thoughts had made Loki realize something that hurt him badly. Despite being valorized for his one-time sacrifice and glorified as a hero today; he had done so many wrongdoings in the past that one slip, one mistake, would be enough to for the world to eye him as the monster he always was.

A new fear crept in his soul. The warm kindness he was receiving from whole Asgard was something he was unfamiliar with. He did not quite know what to do with all this love and admiration he always craved for. He had been the villain for so long that now he feared he could never fulfill the role of the hero. He even had his doubts if that was what he wanted in the first place. Loki just wanted to be himself and nothing more. Although Thor allowed him to be that person, he doubted the rest of Asgard would. So, the raven-haired prince built up back his old defense mechanisms and felt the feeling of power raise in his being. Loki smirked at the ironic thought that the moments he felt most afraid and insecure were those when he would feel the most powerful and invincible.

"What Volgstagg meant was…" Sif started, as she sensed by Loki's expression a shift of mood, changing from positively surprised to utterly bitter. But the god of mischief cut her words abruptly.

"What Volgstagg meant is that, despite you respect me for what I did during Ragnarok; your perception of me will never change. You will never trust me because you never did, although, I admit I'm the one to be the most blamed for that."

"Loki…" Thor called upset and the raven haired prince could hear the mixed tone of compassion and reprehension. He didn't give him the chance to elaborate further, though.

"It's okay, Thor. It really is." Loki said while his gestured his hand in a halting sign. "I can live with that. I always did after all." The four warriors looked a bit apologetic, for this time Loki had failed to hide the pain in his words.

"Loki, we are your friends. We always were." Fandral said giving his tone an edge of obviousness. He swallowed dry when Loki giggled softly in his typical mocking and yet menacing manner. He turned to face the four of them in the eyes, one after the other, while his gaze blazed in anger and his grin grew full of bitterness and falsehood.

"Know this then, Fandral. I consider you lot as much friends as you consider me a friend." There was a tense silence while Loki locked his piercing gaze on the warriors until they avoided his hateful eyes. "No need to fear though, I have no intention in betraying Thor anymore, so you all can just relax."

"Loki, my friends. Please, do not quarrel. " Thor diplomatically asked while he came in between the five of them, afraid his brother's words would originate a conflict. He watched nervously as Sif resisted the urge to snort, while the Warriors Three looked tensed. The god of thunder glanced at Loki in a bewildered manner, like if he was asking _what's the matter with you_ only to receive back an arrogant expression and an arched eyebrow telling him _bite me_. "A lot has happened in the past and that changed us all. None of us is the same person as a century ago. It's time we put the past behind us and learn to deal with each other. We are no foolish youth anymore."

"Thor is right." Sif admitted and she could see by the manner Loki moved his chin and his lips that almost drew a pout while he looked at his shoes, he too agreed with his brother. "We are all adults. It's time to learn to deal with our differences." The female warrior could see Loki was struggling hard not to give her a witty and bitter answer and was sincerely surprised when he merely answered with a diplomatic:

"Of course."

"Good! Now that we all have put our senses back in place, lets go the Diner Hall." Thor merrily announced, hoping the promise of food would lighten up the atmosphere.

"Now, that's about time! I'm starving!" Volgstagg cheered gladly. The older warrior glanced surprised at the smiles, chuckles and the one hearty laughter coming from Fandral. Even Loki's smirk looked more relaxed.

"What is it about you and food that you can never get enough of it?" Fandral cheerfully asked while he put an arm around Volgstagg's shoulder.

"What is it about you and fair ladies, for you too seem to not have enough of them." The older warrior said, resulting laughter among his friends.

"Touché." Was the sole word that Hogun had spoken during the entire encounter.

Loki and Thor watched as the four warriors headed on to the Dining Room, the first grinning apprehensively, the latter still snickering from amusement. Thor took a few steps, meaning to follow his friends, but stopped when he realized his brother wasn't following him. His heart sunk at Loki's expression, which was tired and saddened. "What is it, Loki? Are you upset about what just happened? You just need time to get used to them again, just like they need time to warm up to you."

"I'm just tired, Thor." The god of mischief tried to smile, but failed and looked a bit lost instead. "It's been quite overwhelming, today."

"Are you not happy?" Thor asked afraid Loki wouldn't for some reason feel welcomed and would want to return to London.

"I am, it's all I ever wanted, really. It's just…too much." Loki tiredly said, his voice slightly shaky. Thor had to fight the urge of embracing and kissing his sibling right there in the gallery, to soothe him, for he knew his brother still felt guilty, still thought he deserved to be punished for his actions in the past. "I always wanted to feel welcomed, to feel the glory of being received as a hero. It's just… I had to loose so much to achieve all of that. I-I wonder if it was worthy."

Thor looked compassionately at Loki. It was true. Loki had lost a lot since the day he surrendered to darkness. He had lost his sense of identity, he had lost his mother, his father, he had lost Thor, his brother and lover. He had lost Asgard. He had lost the sense of going on, the will for living. He had lost his life. Loki had lost a lot, but he never had lost his soul.

"It was, Loki. It was all worthy. Because you were once lost, but you are not anymore. It doesn't matter the wrongs you did in the past, as horrible as they were, because it is in the past and it will remain in the past. That chapter is closed. All that matters now is that you have found your way back. That is why everybody is celebrating today and I'm sure mother and father are proud of you, watching you from the Afterlife." Thor said and rested his hand on his brother's neck. Loki bit his under lip as he fought back the tears and the feeling of a knot growing in his throat. He cursed or Thor's earnest and surprisingly eloquent speech. "Today is what you deserve. _You_ are the hero of Asgard. You truly are. You did the altruistic thing. There were no lies, no deceits, no personal interests. You sacrificed your life for everybody. Nothing is more worthy than saving one life and _you_ \- you saved millions. Come to the banquet. Even if it's only for one hour. Please."

"One hour, then." Loki consented with a smile after a short pause and cleared his throat, as his voice came out shakier this time. Thor smiled brightly, glad with Loki's decision, because he truly believed his younger sibling deserved to have at least one day everybody's attention.

"You know, I just realized, you have become quite humble." Thor said while the siblings paced side by side, like they did often in the old days.

"You think of me now as both worthy and humble." Loki said with a smirk. "Do you think I can lift Mjölnir?"

"Ha ha! Not a chance!"

(...)

Loki laid on this back savoring the warm and softness the matrass under him provided, while smiled at the memory. It had been a long day. Confusing but a good day. And he knew it was all thanks Thor. These were his last warm and comforting thoughts before his eyes shut closed and he sink in a profound and dreamless sleep.

…

Loki had, of course, been much longer than one hour at the Banquet. Old acquaintances kept coming to greet him and chat a while with him. Although everybody seemed to be genuinely happy to see him, Loki couldn't shake the unpleasant feeling of wariness away, like if he expected somebody to suddenly point out the monster he had been in the past. Nothing of the sort happened and slowly, he started to relax (to which the fruity red Asgardian wine contributed greatly). Thor kept an eye on his brother the whole evening, although he also kept his distance so Loki could interact and socialize freely. The god of thunder knew Loki could take good care of himself, but he also knew his sibling's fears and vulnerabilities, the reason he only intervened and interrupted a conversation to rescue Loki from those who would try to break his sibling's impenetrable walls to have a small glimpse at his feelings and private live in Midgard.

"After all these years, you still feel the need of protecting Loki." Sif wisely pointed out when she came to stand next to the king.

"He is my little brother and will always be."

"You believe he has changed?" Thor smiled, as he understood Sif wasn't really making a question. She knew he trusted Loki again, but she still needed the confirmation.

"Yes. He has changed." Thor said while he took a sip of his ale, his eyes always resting in the subject of their conversation. "Regret tends to do that to people."

Sif nodded silently at his answer and that was the last time she spoke out loud her mistrust for Loki that evening. The female warrior figured out she had to give the prince a chance and time would truly tell in what side the Weaver of Lies stood. As for now, she contented herself with the king's answer. After all, nobody knew Loki as well as Thor did. The god of thunder didn't even blink when Sif left as silently and subtle as she had come. Just like he wasn't surprised to see, after three hours, Loki discretely leave the Diner Hall, looking exhausted. Thor knew Loki hadn't been too happy with the amount of attention he received (although Loki kept saying it was always what he had wanted) but he had behaved as elegantly, graciously and politely as the prince of Asgard should behave. Which was perfect, since Thor intended to have Loki ruling and advising at his side.

…

The sky was already shimmering slightly when Thor left the Diner Hall. The party had gone on without its guest of honor and it still lived on without the king. The god of thunder finally felt the weariness of the day catch up and headed to Loki's private chambers, wanting to make sure his brother was fine. He released the guards from their post and they happily headed off to the banquet's direction. The god of thunder entered the room quietly. The dim light of a new rising day allowed him to discern his surroundings. The furniture, decorations, colors and bookshelves were all meant to evoke memories of both Loki's original bedroom and of his Midgardian apartment. He wanted to make sure his younger sibling felt completely at home in his new chambers. He paced a while until he found the large bed and repressed a chuckle. Loki laid on his back fast asleep, fully clothed, his arms spread to the sides, while his legs hung on the bed's side. It was clear he had fallen asleep right away and was so tired that he hadn't even shifted in his sleep. Thor carefully climbed up the matrass, which sunk a bit at his weight, and gently leaned over Loki and planted a chaste kiss on his sibling's forehead. The prince hummed softly in his sleep and his body tensed ever so slightly to relax again right afterwards. Thor looked down at his sleeping brother and decided to unbutton his coat.

"My silly little brother, this is no way of sleeping properly." The god of thunder whispered, while he gently undressed Loki's coat, causing a protesting moan, as the prince was forced to move to free the clothing from his arms. Thor proceed in taking of the boots and the pants off, while his brother shifted annoyed as he sluggishly woke up.

"What are you doing?" Loki's voice was almost imperceptible, as it came out as a soft sleepy whisper.

"You fell asleep with you clothes on and half laying on the bed. That can never be comfortable." The king said while he undressed Loki's shirt, so his brother only had his underwear on.

"I was sleeping." Loki whispered in a complaint, barely opening his eyes. Thor smiled at Loki's involuntary pout and lifted his body a bit, to lay him completely on the bed.

"And you'll go back to sleep again. But this time you'll lay in your bed properly." The god of thunder said with he pecked Loki's cheek softly.

"Stay with me." Loki whispered, while he turned to his side and his hands found Thor's arms. His eyes were open, but he was blinking them in an excruciating attempt to keep them open until the answer was given.

"I will." Thor said and Loki closed his eyes with a smile. The king undressed himself too, until he was in his underwear like his brother, lifted the covers and laid opposite Loki. He enveloped his sibling's back with his arm and the prince instinctively tugged himself against Thor with a satisfied sigh. Not a minute had gone by and the blonde could already hear in his brother's breathing, Loki was fast asleep again. He watched his sibling sleeping for a while, as the sun light slowly caressed Loki's peaceful features until he too surrendered to slumber.

* * *

**A/N**

**Next chapter will be the final one!**


	23. Closure

It was incredible how wonderful it always felt to wake up in the same bed as his brother, sensing the warmth of their bodies under the covers, his leg intertwined with his sibling's. When he opened his eyes, he met the green of summer fields he often thought he would never find again in Asgard. Loki had woken up first, but had chosen to stay in bed and patiently wait for the king to wake up. Thor was greeted by a loving and peaceful face, which made the prince look younger. They smiled tenderly and words weren't shared for a long while. Their speech was translated by the look in their eyes and the soft touch of fingers interlacing playfully. It took a long time before Loki dared to break the silence.

"Good morning, my king."

"Good morning, my prince."

A new silence fell between the siblings, who wished to relish this proximity as long as time would permit them to. Thor moved closer to peck Loki's lips and their hands freed themselves to caress arms, torsos and backs. They shared small gentle kisses, nuzzled their faces closer, brushing their noses against each other, while their fingertips lazily explored the bared skin.

"Actually, I think it's already afternoon." Loki whispered, his eyes closed, enjoying the soft kisses Thor was planting on his neck. The god of thunder understood the purpose of Loki's words. The sun was high, the day had long started before they woke and there were duties and responsibilities the king of Asgard needed to attend.

"I already woke up late. It won't make much of a difference it I delay myself another hour or two." Thor whispered against Loki's ear, licking its earlobe, causing a gratifying hum by his brother.

"Two hours, Thor? Such luxury time for leisure." Loki mocked while his brother guided him to lay on his back and pressed his muscled body against his.

"I'll be needing extra time to clean you up properly after the mess I'm going to put you in." The king said while he gave a small teasing, but electrifying bite of Loki's neck, making him gasp of pleasure. The prince giggled and surrendered to the indulging his sibling was putting him through. After all, there was no other better way of starting the day.

…

Just as Thor had suspected, the party went on during the day and probably would carry on for another few days, unless he would give the order to otherwise. The people of Asgard had created the habit of building great parties in honor of the god of thunder every time he returned from one of his war campaigns. It only seemed suitable that they would celebrate with equal joy their long lost prince's return.

Thor's delay and the absence of some members of the assembly ensured the day to be less productive than normal, so only the official procedures were given attention. The king did announce Loki would start attending the meetings in a near future. He was glad to find no resistance in the politicians, although he did sense the tension and reproof in some expressions. Thor decided, for now, to pretend he didn't notice any of this. He could understand perfectly the origin of their wariness, considering the reputation Loki had built for himself in the past. Yet, he was not giving them the choice to refute his decision as ruler. He was restoring Loki to his rightful place, and that was beside him in the ruling of Asgard. And considering his brother's vast knowledge and wisdom, he was confident the members of his court would valorize Loki's contribute in political matters, within time. After all, Loki had always been the clever of two siblings.

Once Thor was free from his daily tasks, he headed to a part of the palace he seldom entered. He walked along tall and dark corridors that descended some stores downs. This wing of the palace was sealed from everybody except for members of the royalty. Soldiers would guard the several doors, without really knowing what was kept behind them. Thor reached the furthest door, located in the heart of palace's crypt. He opened it and felt a chill run down his spine. This division reproduced his father's private chambers. Inside the first room stood a statue of Odin, depicting the king in his full strength and wisdom and not as the old feeble man he was during his last days of life. The marble statue welcomed the new king with a cold unhuman stare. His expression evoked mightiness and courage but his look was empty. Thor quickly walked pass it, avoiding to look at the statue. It had Odin's face but Thor's didn't recognize in it the person his father had been. The blonde walked to the place he knew the object he needed to acquire was safely kept. He found it and stared at the small round object remembering his father's urgent words before he handled it over to him. Thor hid the object securely in his pocket and turned around to face the door. He wished to exit the room as quickly as possible. This place evoked strange feelings of both familiarity and strangeness. Because this chamber replicated the All-Father's world, and yet, it had nothing to do with it.

The chambers had never experience life, breath, laughter, tears or any kind of emotion. They never had heard the sound of a voice. They never even met the object of their homage, for Odin had already passed away when they were built. The chambers were a world of silence and death. They were a replica, imitating with great precision to the smallest detail in a desperate but vain attempt in producing a small sparkle of the life that was lost forever. But that was it. A reproduction. An allusion to a memory and nothing more. The chambers were a tomb and Odin's memory was buried in it, but his spirit did not linger here. Thor pondered, before leaving, if he should end this ancient tradition. He did not see the sense of having a royal crypt closed for everybody's eyes anyway. He did not experience the reverence he should feel when he entered it. Thor left the crypt with a bouncing heart and hurriedly paced away from it. He climbed up the long stairs until his eyes met the daylight and his skin was warmed by sunshine. He sighed relieved, feeling lighter. It had felt like he had journeyed to the underworld and had just returned to the world of the living.

…

It took hours until Thor finally found Loki. He had searched him in the Library only to discover the prince had been there, but had just left. He received the same answer by the gardens, the arena, the kitchens, the hospital, the relics's room. The god of thunder was amused to know his brother was touring the palace and exploring all the different parts of the building. But it annoyed him that he kept missing his brother by a few minutes and wondered if Loki wasn't using magic in purpose just to irritate him. When evening fell, Thor searched for Loki in the Diner Hall (where the party was still high) and in both their private chambers to find out his brother was nowhere to be found. The god of thunder chuckled at his own foolishness for forgetting that there was only one place in whole Asgard his sibling would allow Thor to find him. The king hasted to the palace's roof tops and there was he, sitting on one of the cupolas while staring at the stars.

"You took your time. I was wondering when you would finally appear." Loki said without turning around, already knowing it was Thor.

"You are a difficult man to find. You were everywhere in the palace and yet I kept missing you." Thor complained while he sat down next to his brother. The raven-haired prince was grinning at him.

"You do know I'm curious. What did you expect? The whole palace is new. I barely found parts of the original building."

"Yeah. Ragnarok was pretty destructive."

"I'm surprised Odin managed to restore the Library almost completely. It must have been quite a task to acquire some of the titles."

"Yeah, he was obsessive about some books and got really mad if they weren't found. It was only when I discovered those were mother and your favorite ones that I understood his anger."

"I did find most of my favorite books in my chambers and some new titles I'm certain I'll enjoy." Loki said and Thor understood the question behind his words.

"Father ordered to build your chambers according to the original in its exactness. He spent no efforts in the details. The colors, the furniture, even the position of the vases with flowers."

"But my chambers are not the same as when I left Asgard." Loki noted.

"That's because I brought some changes myself. I wanted them to have a bit of Loki Winter too."

Loki nodded and Thor knew he had answered his suspicions. A contemplative silence settled itself comfortably between the siblings. They enjoyed the sense of peacefulness the rooftops of the palace offered, it contrasting greatly with the loud noise and busy life in citadel.

"Brother…" Thor started, while he shoved his hand in his pocket.

"You know, I'm not really your brother." Loki mockingly said, his tone deprived of any kind of grudge.

"You may not be my brother by blood, but you still are my brother."

"You do realize that fact alone only makes our relationship the more sinful?"

"And now I thought you enjoyed living in sin." Thor joked for Loki's delight. The raven-haired prince was surprised when his brother presented him a small object. It was a golden perfectly shaped sphere and had a rune on it that he recognized as Odin's mark.

"What is that?" Loki asked, a hind of fear thickening his throat.

"I have no idea. But father asked me to give you this once you returned to Asgard."

Loki took the cold metal ball in his hands and his fingertips touched its surface curiously. He immediately sensed a shy warmth surface the sphere. The prince instinctively clasped it protectively between his hands and then inserted it in his pocket. He had a suspicion of what it was, but he would wait until later, until he was alone, before he would unravel this golden ball's mystery. Thor watched silently Loki putting the sphere away and intuitively knew his brother had already figured out what it was. He didn't make any questions, knowing whatever this object was, it was something that concerned Odin and Loki alone.

…

Loki laid next to Thor and waited patiently for his brother to fall asleep. It was with some reluctance that he left the warmth of the bed to step out into the dark moonless night. The prince moved blindly in the room, Thor's heavy and rhythmic breathing compassing his steps. Loki easily found his way to the next division and created a small pale light on his palm to illuminate the room. He walked to a drawer and grimaced when he saw the small golden sphere glistering under his magical light. He carefully picked it up and again, and again felt the soft heating of the metallic surface. Loki walked along the small gallery, passed by the balcony with perfumed flowers, entered the living room and sat on one of the soft couches.

The prince inhaled deeply and placed the golden sphere on his left palm. He wavered his right hand twice above the object and the sphere glowed. He then placed it on the table opposite him and waited expectantly. He held his breath as the sphere opened itself from the middle and a golden light that resides inside the ball was released. The golden light grew bigger, brighter and hovered on top on the sphere. In just a few seconds, colors and volume were added to the light until it reproduced a human figure. Loki wasn't surprised to see the image of Odin standing before him. He looked quite real and alive, weren't for the fact he was translucent, so the prince could discern slightly the bookshelf behind Odin's hologram. Loki let out a breath and his heart sunk at the image of his father, looking so much older than the last time he saw him. Odin was weak and tired and the raven-haired prince immediately knew the All-father had created this Memory Orb days before his death.

"_Loki_."

Odin's lips spoke out the prince's name in a tone he wasn't used to hear. There was no anger, no sign of disappointment or scolding. Instead, his name had been spoken with reverence and a hint of sorrow.

"_If you are watching this, it means you have returned from the dead, but I was not blessed to witness it_."

Loki felt a pang in his heart as Odin paused a few seconds and his one blue eye, which used to be filled with cold calculation or with anger, looked weary and sad.

"_I am sorry I will not live long enough to tell you this in person, just as I am sorry I never told you this before. Loki, I failed you as a father._"

The prince felt a knot in his throat as the words were spoken and found his heart quickly piercing and smoothing it at the same time. Odin smiled. It was a tender smile and Loki recognized it immediately and realized, it was a smile he long had forgotten.

"_I still remember our first encounter like if it was yesterday. I followed the sound of crying in the temple and I found a small baby, abandoned, suffering, cast away to dye in the cold. Without thinking, I picked up the small thing. It didn't matter he was blue, his body was painted by dark marks, his eyes were red like blood. All that mattered was that it was an innocent child, crying out for warmth and protection. He was so tiny that he fit perfectly in my hands. The baby stopped crying the moment he saw my face and then he smiled. And I knew from that moment; that day I had conquered Jotunheim but a Jotun had conquered my heart. I could never let that little baby go, because I had found my son_."

Loki could feel his eyes prick. The All-father had told him before how he had found him in the temple, rejected, forgotten and casted away to die in the cold. He had spoken with anger, bitterness and despise and Loki had felt like he was another stolen relic, locked up in Asgard until Odin would have a use of him. This was the first time Loki listened to his father's tale in a humanitarian version.

"_Loki, you are my son. You always were. It was selfish of me to think I could use you to unite Asgard and Jotunheim. It was cruel of me for putting my expectations of bringing about an alliance in such a young creature. It was a monstrosity of my part to place the weight of responsibility in bringing about a permanent political peace upon an innocent child. But most of all, it was unforgivable to procure the solution of my problems with Laufey through you, through my son_."

Odin sighed and Loki could read the weight of regret and guilt he was carrying. The prince released a shaky breath. Loki held his tears back stubbornly, behaving always proudly like if his father was truly here taking to him. His fingernails were digging in his knees, digging through material and flesh until the sensation alleviated just a bit the pain he bore in his soul.

"_I love you, Loki. I always have. And the fact you believe I don't is the proof I failed you as a father. Because I always was proud of your brilliance, your clever mind, your growing talent in magic. You grew so powerful, I became afraid of you. I feared you would surpass me. And now I regret every minute, every second of my existence that I did not see, it was never power you wanted but my love_."

Odin halted in his words for moments and caught a shaky breath, his gaze darted his surroundings for moments, his one eye reflecting his pain. By now Loki had lost control over his body and tears cascaded freely from his eyes, his right hand covered his mouth, while he shivered from painful relieve.

"_I am proud of you, my boy. I'm sorry I only got to tell you this from death."_

Odin's image became still and silent. The message had reached its end. Loki stared at the image of his father, hot salty tears burning his eyes. He lifted up and took a step closer to look upon the face of his father. He remained staring at the face of his deceased father, taking in each line of his old face, the glint in his icy blue eye, each facial muscle that no longer smiled or scorned. Seconds stretched themselves into time. With a trembling hand, Loki reached for Odin face, only to pass through it and touch the night air. The image shifted a bit before returning to its position. A repressed moan escaped Loki's lips. And then he felt his being crumble down. The prince bended over, one hand on his heart, the other wrapped around his waist while he contorted of pain and howled miserably. His knees slowly gave away while Loki finally allowed himself to weep in all his sadness. Odin's words had caused him a lot of pain. Because his words were full of the love and care he had craved during centuries. It pained to know all he ever had needed was never given to him, but it soothed to know that all he ever wanted had existed there all the time.

…

Thor woke up suddenly with a feeling of dread in his chest. He sat up, panting and gasping, cold sweat covering his temple. His eyes were open wide, but he could hardly discern anything, for it was new moon and the night was still high. The god of thunder blindly looked to his side and placed his hand on the matrass where he could sense the ghost of Loki. It was empty and cold. The king sensed a wave of panic pang his heart as his ears strained to search any sound that could provide him any indication of his brother's whereabouts. He jumped of the bed and quickly found an oil lamp to illuminate his surroundings. He wrapped himself up in a silky robe and sighed deeply. He surely hoped his brother would allow him to find him.

He decided to check the chambers first. The golden flame of the lamp produced large and disturbing shadows on the wall, like scary monsters lurking in the walls waiting to catch him. He walked silently, the only sound to be heard was his loud hasted breathing, for fear grew in his heart. Thor knew Loki's absence had to do with Odin's golden sphere. The cold air in the balcony somehow appeased his spirit a bit. He lost a few seconds to look outside and was greeted by a peaceful and sleepy world under a watchful starry sky. He continued his search and headed to the living room. Suddenly he halted. He heard a low murmur, a voice which he was so familiar with, but knew was not supposed to be here. Thor hasted himself as he recognized Odin's voice and halted at the entry of the room, shocked to see the transparent image of his father.

"…_my expectations of bringing about an alliance in such a young creature. It was a monstrosity of my part to place the weight of responsibility in bringing about a permanent_…"

Thor's brow was knitted and he slowly paced around the hologram, petrified and marveled at the same time for seeing and hearing his father beyond the dead. He looked down and saw the image came for the golden sphere and a vague memory of an object that could contain forgotten messages returned to his mind.

"_I love you, Loki. I always have._"

Thor lifted his head surprised when he heard his father's confession. With a bouncing heart, he lifted the lamp and illuminated the room.

"_And the fact you believe I don't is the proof I failed you as a father_."

"Loki!" Thor whispered in a gasp when the yellow light finally found him. The prince was sitting curled on the floor, on a corner, with his back against the wall. His black hair fell to its sides in long untidy curls. His face was stained and Thor could see the lines where the tears had travelled, but Loki wasn't crying anymore. His face bore an expression of a strange passivity. "Loki." He called, while he crouched opposite his brother, but his green eyes weren't resting on him. The god of thunder could heard Odin silence himself behind him. Then Loki lifted his hand, slowly turned it in the air and the All-father's voice filled the room again.

"_Loki. If you are watching this, it means you have returned from the dead, but I was not blessed to witness it_."

Thor turned to look at the hologram shocked at the realization the message had started all over again. He turned to look at Loki, at his lost expression and placed his hand on his brother's neck. Only then did the prince acknowledge his presence and shifted his shinny eyes, so their gazes finally met.

"Loki, how many times have you listened to it?" Thor asked worriedly and saw the flash of hurt cross his younger sibling's eyes. "Stop torturing yourself like this. Turn it off."

"No!" Loki's voice came out almost as a panicked squeal. Thor was shocked to see the way his lips trembled before the following words were whispered in a shaky breath. "I want…I need to hear his voice." Loki spoke in a pleading tone, his eyes already watery. "Please, just let me listen to him."

"Oh Loki." Thor whispered, his heart filled for compassion. He kneeled before he enveloped his brother's body in his arms and held him close to his body.

"I want to hear his voice." Loki moaned between strenuous gasps, new tears falling down his face.

Thor shushed Loki, while he held him close to his body, warming and cradling him. The prince rested his head on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around Thor's broad back, sobbing softly. The two brothers remained like this for many hours, listening to their father's voice, whispering over and over again words of regret, forgiveness and love into the darkness of night. Eventually Loki fell asleep buried in his older brother's chest and Thor carried him to the bedroom. The king of Asgard sat on the chair next to the bed and watched his sibling's face slowly be lightened by the rising of a new day.

…

Loki woke up, his head feeling heavy. His eyes burned. He felt exhausted and yet light at the same time. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked at the bright light that filled the room. He caught some movement in the corner of his eye and saw it was Thor. His brother looked worried, but when Loki smiled, his face relaxed in relieve.

"Aren't you needed at the throne room?" Loki sleepily asked.

"I'm exactly where I need to be." Thor replied and Loki though for moments his heart would burst from the love he felt for the blonde. "How are you?"

"I'm…hum…I'm actually okay." The prince said sounding surprised with his own answer. He sat up and his hand searched for his sibling's. "Odin's message, his words, it was all I ever wanted."

"It's a pity you two didn't figure things out while you were both still alive." The king regretfully said.

"Yes. It's true. But I guess its better later than never. I feel so much lighter, Thor." Loki said with a sincere smile that was rare to be seen on his face.

"That's because this was closure for you." Thor calmly said while he pressed Loki's hand a bit in his. The prince looked at him with such adoration, Thor felt his breath get stuck in his throat.

"You became so incredibly wise." Loki sincerely gasped.

"Yet, you are always wiser."

"Am I?"

"Yes. And strong in ways you don't even understand." Thor whispered softly and Loki felt the same chills of excitement and happiness run through his body like when Thor confessed his love for him the very first time.

"I _am_ going to grow old with you." Loki said in a decisive tone. Thor barked an amused laughter very much for his sibling's delight.

"I know, little brother."

The two brothers prolonged this moment of proximity as long as they could. Old promises were sealed. They promised to love each other till the end of times, to remain loyal as they had been all these centuries. They both had travelled in darkness, faced treachery, sorrow, regret and even death. They both had lost so much in the past. The one thing that never changed was their love. Sometimes they forgot they loved each other. When they thought their hearts bore too much hurt, betrayal, hate and sorrow. But their love had always survived any challenge. It remained as strong and real at all times. And maybe that was just what happened when poles collided.

THE END

* * *

**A/N**

**The final chapter!**

**I hope you enjoyed it. This was my very first fanfic. :))  
**

** I think as an author, I am entitled to say that - honestly - I'm quite disappointed with the number of reviews. It's not like I'm expecting people to write a review every new chapter, not at all! But it is always nice to have an indication about the satisfaction of the story, if people are enjoying or not. In the end, we all like to hear from others we are doing a good job (or not), but we also need contructive criticism so we can improve ourselves. Right?**

**... (I just needed to get that one off my chest) ...**

**Anyway, the few reviews I received were at least enthusiastic, so thank you :)**

**I enjoyed very much writting it. I wanted to center mostly in the psycological part of the characters and portray their feelings, reactions and point of views in the different stages of the Thor sequels. I'm quite a fan for the Thor and Avengers movies, so I hope I did some justice to Thor's and Loki's characters.**

**I'm working at the moment at a new Throki story, which will be an Alternate Universe, college world. I'll probably start posting this summer, but am quite busy at the moment, so it's hard to tell. Anyway, if you are interested in this future story, just favorite me ;)**

**Review?**

**Pretty please?**

**Thanks and till the next tale!**


End file.
